Saturday, May 17, 2008

Six Days and Counting: Just Reflecting

So... my Papi's wife died on Thursday; the Big C took her out. I never met her, spoke to her maybe three times the whole of her marriage to Papi, and, in the beginning, even hated on the fact that she was in Grandma's house siting on Grandma's sofa sleeping on Grandma's bed with Grandma's man. But after a bit it was like, "Okay, I suppose he deserves to be happy..."

But how is this better- surviving TWO marriages? How much more can this man take?

And how helpless are we, not knowing what to do or say to make it right?

Death scares me straight, man, I'll tell you what... it also makes me feel like all the bullshit I complain about on here- money, men, computers, kids- don't amount to a hill o' beans and I should just shut the fuck up, because right now, someone just lost his wife, and another just lost his mother, and that little girl that my daughters both agreed, after their trip to DR, was the most annoying little girl they'd ever met EVER, just lost her grandma. And I *do* know what that feels like. I'm lucky to have had mine for as long as I did.

Death just puts everything in perspective: aw man, I paid twice for this bus ride by mistake (whatever, you could be dead right now); dammit- I'm out of olive oil (you could be out of breath, so stop complaining); why is this internet connection so freakin slow (do you know you could just drop dead right now?)... just... just appreciate what you have, man, cause who knows what tomorrow brings...

So, no more woe is me-isms... I gotta step it up and get my shit together, because I have to help the family take care of Papi, point blank, no bullshit, no playing around anymore!

*smooches... trying to be a grown-up for once*
this circle of life bullshit is for the birds!!