Sometimes I wonder about that little girl who actually looked forward to bio-lab. The girl who used to read the Science Times like it was the funny papers. The girl who wanted to immerse herself in the natural sciences, donning a starched white lab coat and save the world.
Turns out she decided to become a writer instead.
But every now and again, when no one is looking, she takes a moment to relish in her natural environment with child-like wonder.
*smooches...re-acquainting myself with nature and all its bounty* ---------- you should try it sometime. it's very relaxing.
I swear... you people act like The Terminator, Eagle Eye and I, Robot never existed with your blatant openness and willingness to lick technology's balls.
Why is that?
Is it really that hard to put down the Blackberry? Think back to 5, hell ONE year ago when you didn't have it. How did you live your life? Probably less distracted. And happy.
And can we discuss this newfangled way to keep your eye doctor's pool boy employed, the Kindle? Really? So sitting in front of a computer screen all day is not enough for you, you want to sit in front of a screen all through the night, too, right? Because GOD FORBID you have to hold a real book in your hands, OOF- that's soooo inconvenient.
Or how about the locator chips inserted into unsuspecting animals? Ever think Fluffy is trying to run away for a reason? Didn't I read somewhere humans were next? Oh, fabulous... I can't wait to get my barcode on the back of my neck 'cause you know, deep down, I've always wanted to know what it felt like to be a Jew in Nazi Germany!
Let's not even get into this hot ghetto mess of a "breakthrough" from "scientists" who need to stop being "...so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should." [OOOH, I love that line... name the movie for a month of FREE MOVIES from moi... and Netflix. First one gets it!]:
But I mean, really? Is this necessary? People are developing shit so we don't have to think for ourselves or utilize our brains or anything? This is the future you want?? I won't lie- I'm the first fool to Google someone I've just met but DAMN, right in their face? And really? You need a computer to tell you what the best deal on paper towel is? Didn't you learn MATH in SCHOOL?
Listen- I don't know about you but I'm going to fight the power. And I don't care if I'm the only one who still reads actual BOOKS and thinks for herself. I'll be that one hold out while the world changes around her, making food over an open fire (remember fire? ahhh... good old fire...) and writing things down. With a Bic pen.
So as you bask in the latest gadget by Apple or [insert name of random mad scientist here], ask yourself: how long before those Rumba's you bought to clean your house grow a brain, eat your babies and kill you in your sleep? I'll stick with my old school broom, thank you!
*smooches...thinking of turning this blog into a handwritten, mimeographed weekly newsletter* ---------- 'cause honestly, in a fight between humans and robots, you KNOW we're gonna lose!
Apparently there are eleven, not nine, planets in our solar system= eight regular planets and three dwarf planets: Ceres, Eris and a demoted Pluto. When was somebody going to let me know?
Geez- you stop reading the science section of the Times for five years and all of a sudden your knowledge is outdated!
*smooches...thinking I should log onto NYTimes.com and get the full skinny on these dwarf planets* ------------- Willkommen, Ceres and Eris!
Read my first published story, Grey Matter, at Blue Lake Review online.
Also, you asked for it so here it is: click below to buy my book, My Ego Likes the Compliments...And Other Musings on Writing, for just $10 plus $2.00 flat shipping rate to anywhere in the continental US.
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