We're Thankful For Our Ratchet Blessings

ME: How is it not even noon and ALREADY you ain't shit?

SmartyPJones: Girl...I wake up ain't shit. It's a gift.

*smooches...with a dose of tomfoolery*
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this is how we pass the time in between deadlines, in case you were wondering what writers do all day.

She Always Comes Back For More, Though

"For every conversation I have with you, I have a longer one with god."
-Smarty P. Jones

*smooches...wondering if she knows we're going to the same place*
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have all the conversations with god you want, honey. you're just as ratchet as the rest of us *side eye*

First Class Ticket To Hell...

Smarty P. Jones: ...And you need Jesus for those responses.

ME: I need Jesus for how I molested ________ yesterday hahahahahahaha!!

SPJ: As long as you know.

ME: I made a request and Mary was all, "Stop calling here for my son. You will NOT defile his good image with your debauchery" and hung up. Bitches, I swear...

SPJ: *falls to knees* Jesus, you know I just met her, right?

*smooches...finding new ways to damn my soul*
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ay, listen, I'm pretty sure your god has a sense of humor.