Just Say No To Drugs, Kids!

Remember the good old days of preachy sitcoms? When your favorite heartthrob had serious First World Problems that could be solved in 30 minutes or less? I especially appreciated the shows that were popular during Nancy Reagan's JUST SAY NO era, and how they made it seem like such a walk in the park to stay away or recover from drugs and its perils.

Alex's freak out on "Family Ties"


And Jessie's freak out on "Saved By The Bell"


Clearly neither of these shows took place in Bed-Stuy during crack-cocaine's heyday. But whatever.

I'll tell you what, though- I never did speed because accelerated heart rates freak me the hell out. And because of Alex and Jessie making complete asses of themselves. Thanks to these shows, no amount of peer pressure could get me to change my mind!

Now, if they'd only made one to talk about the detriments of whiskey and acid and pot...

What were some of your anti-drug episodes from old (or new) sitcoms? (I don't new shows have these anymore, seeing as drug use is so acceptable these days!)

*smooches...drug free since, um, well never-you-mind*
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I love when shows are able to stand the test of time.

Dress Code Disparities That I Won't Stand For

Now that I'm trolling the clubs for hunnies again, it's time to revisit the old LIST. You know the LIST: that arbitrary document we put together in the hopes that the Universe will deliver unto us a person with all of those qualities and thereby ensuring we get our happily ever after. Ahhh, the LIST. I missed it. So let's dust it off and talk about a new addition to it: He shall not dress for our date as if he were on his way to chill with his boys at a Knicks game.

How is it fair that we dress up, yet men wear Timberland boots everywhere?  

And don't even bother to lace them up correctly!?!

First of all, if you're one of the women that tolerate this atrocity let me be the first to tell you that we are no longer homies. Women like you make promoters think it's OK to allow men to wear "fashionable sneakers" to events that forbid us from wearing anything other than heels. And I call bullshit on you, your fashinable-sneaker-wearing man and y'all's entire Kardashian-West generation. BULLSHIT, I SAY!

If I have to be uncomfortable at the party then he needs to be uncomfortable, too. If I can't get easily away from an assailant in my shoes then ditto for my date. I don't want to hear crap about me walking slow in the stilettos I was forced to wear when he's maxing and relaxing in some Jordan's. This will not be my life.

If you're going to ask me out, and it's to dinner or somewhere nice, unless we're going to Applebee's, I expect you to wear grown man shoes and a shirt with a collar. Actually, even if we go to Applebee's (and let me just say this: please don't take me to Applebee's. I hate their food.) I don't want to see you in your house clothes. We're on a date. Try and look like you bathed and actually made an attempt to look nice for me. Because I'm at home bathing and attempting to look nice for you, too.

Your T-shirt and sneakers tell me that I'm just one of your homies and there's nothing special about this evening. And if there's nothing special about this evening I probably won't be in the mood to see you any other evening. Or look nice for you. Or more importantly, because I know this matters to the Penis Posse, allow your naked body anywhere near my naked body.

Bottom line: I'm not usually the high-heel wearing, frolicky, girly type, anyway. But for nice, special occasions I will make an effort. All I ask for is some reciprocity.

Just saying.

*smooches...stepping up my game every year*
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I'm going to be 40 soon. it's just not OK with my soul to date someone who will show up on our dinner/dancing date in sneakers.

Seven Things*

*Borrowed from the site Brittany. Herself. which is a totally hilarious blog that I love to read and make believe the author is my BFF and that we pass the days plotting ways to drive her husband mad via email. She wrote about the seven things in her First World life she couldn't live without and asked folks to share. I don't normally participate in these things anymore but, you know, any opportunity to talk about myself and remind you that it's all about ME ME ME is right up this blog's alley.

You can read her original post by clicking here.

Here's what's on my MUST HAVE DAILY list:
1- My computer and everything attached to it that brings joy to my heart: Netflix, Twitter, Spotify, and the Bearded and Black Tumblr site.

2- The heavenly nectar you peons call ginger tea. A day without it and I may kill a few puppies.

3- A bra. I'm not one of those gals who can let them run free. Sometimes, I sleep in a bra. I love the false sense of security a bra gives me, making me believe I've staved off gravity for another day.

4- Soca music. Because a day without soca is NOT a day worth living.

5- At least three pens and a notebook. This is something I discussed with my fellow writers this weekend- I cannot leave the house unprepared. What if I get trapped in an elevator and I don't have anything to write with. I WOULD SURELY DIE.

6- As bad as it is for my skin-hot showers. I cannot fall asleep and have magically sweet dreams without some scalding water to slowly transition me into night-night mode.

7- Under-eye concealer, because let's face it- that sleep I was just describing? I never get enough of it and it shows on my face. Thanks to the good people at MAC Cosmetics, I get to make-believe I'm a fresh-faced co-ed.

What's on your list?

*smooches...sharing but not caring*
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also, please note that cleverly disguised within this list of seven are TEN things I cannot live without. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Monday Ramblings

At first I was going to title this post Monday Musings, but I didn't want to get you all excited about my former, awesome Blog Talk Radio show that you never listened to. This is not that. This post is simply a sampling of the random thoughts I have today.

>I had an appointment with my ENT this morning who basically informed me that I'm a fat, greedy pig who needs to stop night-eating or I will continue to fuck up my throat via acid reflux. OK, then. Message received. At least it's not the throat cancer WebMD told me I thought I had.

>For three years I've been hosting literary readings throughout the City, scrambling to find venues and participants and an audience. Yesterday morning I woke up with a "why do I bother!" mentality because really, we don't get the support we deserve. And then whattaya know- people showed up! Like, LOTS OF PEOPLE. It was standing room only in the bookstore and I was all verklempt. I guess THAT'S WHY I bother.

>Every time I end a relationship I do a post-mortem in my head. Where did I fuck up? Where did he fuck up? Where did WE fuck up? It's all a learning process, I know. I get it. But you know what? I hate starting over. It feels like so much failure. I'm starting to wonder if being single forever is really that bad...

>I've decided not to move out of my apartment until A) Al-Qaeda evicts me; B) the Feds take over the dwelling as evidence in an anti-terror investigation; or C) I'm ready to buy my Brooklyn brownstone or condo. My apartment is small, drafty in the winter and scorching in the summer, my neighbor Jeff is RUDE and the pipes are constantly getting clogged up. But it's mine. I'm comfortable there. And leaving just for the sake of leaving (or having more room to entertain when I don't even LIKE people) is dumb.

>I've discovered Coursera ("a social entrepreneurship company that partners with the top universities in the world to offer courses online for anyone to take, for free"). So far, I've signed up for six classes. I can already see this getting out of control... someone please come and take my internet away?!

*smooches...gearing up for a crazy-busy week*
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what's on your mind today?

Maybe Forgiveness Is Right Where You Fell

I've allowed myself to live in the PAUSE time and time again. I take on a project and as soon as there's an obstacle I wrap it around me like a fuzzy sweater of excuses and let it lull me into an uneasy sleep every night. But as long as I'm in the PAUSE I don't have to face life or reality or failure, except the PAUSE is worse than failure; it's not even trying. It's not even living.

It takes a lot of energy to drag myself out of the PAUSE, but I've been taking all these supplements and eating better, and that will hopefully lead to sleeping better, and I've been working toward de-chaos-ing my physical environment, so surely my mental and emotional environment will follow, non?

I'm counting on that energy to get me to network with other writers more and leave my comfort zone and smile more often than not. That energy will help me take more chances and make bold moves and become a more visible force in this world than I have been (don't worry; a good force). I'm putting all my chips in; the energy will crush the PAUSE, so much so that it will be this tiny insignificant blip of a pause, a breather, really, in which I just blink a couple of times, inhale good air and exhale the bad, and then get right back on my path of goodies.

Might I suggest you make this bet with me, too?



Don't beat yourself up about it, though. That's not what these Friday posts are about. Standing still and letting obstacles stunt our growth is common and can happen to anyone at any time. Accept what you've done to date as an error you made, and just dive into the part where you work to make amends with yourself for standing in your own way. You did this to yourself and only you can make it right.

It's never too late to keep moving forward.

*smooches...daring you to lift yourself up off the floor*
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the potential for greatness is in all of us, it really is!

Trial & Error: A Healthy Jaded Update

Here's what's been good: I've been eating breakfast everyday. While that is a huge accomplishment on my part all by itself, please hold your applause until I tell you how healthy and amazing my breakfast has been. Oh, wait, I guess I just did. So yeah, over the past month, I've made it a point to eat a breakfast loaded with good, lean proteins and healthy fats [insert crude joke about oral sex here]. I also tried to incorporate some grains in the beginning (Ezekiel bread was recommended] but it left me feeling bloated so I nixed that and substituted good carbs like sweet potatoes and plantains. Afterward I down four different liquid supplements: vitamin D, cod liver oil (fermented), evening primrose oil and B-12.

SIDE NOTE ABOUT THESE SUPPLEMENTS: The vitamin D doesn't really taste like anything and neither does the evening primrose oil. And the B-12 jsut has a Tussin-esque essence to it but I can manage. That fermented cod liver oil, though...GOD HELP US ALL. That shit is so disgusting! I mean, you think you know what it tastes like because you've probably taken cod liver oil pills in the past but no. NO. This isn't a pill, this is two teaspoons (in a shot glass) of LIQUID. FERMENTED. COD LIVER OIL. I can still taste that shit in the back of my throat hours after I've taken it. BLECH! Aaaannnnnddddd I think I may be allergic to it to boot! Ever since I switched over to the fermented oil (I was taking the regular Norwegian type before) my throat has felt weird and closed off. I stopped taking it this morning and opted for the non-fermented one, which I'll take over the next few days and see if I notice a difference. (Hopefully this won't lead to a visit to the ENT although, fuck it, let me schedule an appointment anyway.) Also, they're expensive!

So far this has helped me focus in the morning, so I make sure and get most of my tedious TO DO items done before lunch when my productivity and my energy levels are high.

What's not been so good: I'm still working on not snacking at work (it's tough when you know there's a whole drawer full of Swedish fish and potato chips just five feet away) and finding the right meal at lunch that won't induce the itis and help me continue to be productive until it's time to go home. Regulating my blood sugar after 12pm has proven to be my Achilles' heel. GRRRRRR!

I've also not conquered night-eating NOR have I managed to get to bed at a decent hour, and those are KEY in improving my overall health. And finally, I continue to struggle with committing to my physical fitness (in fact, I just froze my gym membership until April because let's be real- I barely go when it's nice out. Now that it's tundric weather? Fuggetaboutit!) and to reducing my stress levels via meditation. Basically I'm still not putting my emotional and mental health first.

In the end, will any of these things I'm doing improve my fibroid situation? I won't know until April after my physical & OB/GYN visit. In the meantime I will continue to press on and fight the good fight.

I swear, I'd better live to be a zillion years old after all this...

*smooches...playing scientist with my own body*
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here's where my science background comes in handy

It's A Hector Lavoe Kind Of Day

Even though he dissed merengue and Dominicans back in the day... I'll forgive it because he was a beast on the mic:

  (peep Willie Colon in this clip in the horn section!)   (why is Johnny Pacheco a straight fool in this clip? cocaine is a hell of a drug! lol) Classic salsa always soothes the troubled soul. You heard it here first.

*smooches...indulging, relaxing, just enjoying my day*
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or at least working toward that goal.

Growing, Learning, Accepting

"You think it's going to be one moment that grows you up, but really it's like a thousand different moments. And when they happen, there's no going back." -Tara Webster, "Dance Academy"

*smooches...no end to how much I'm learning*
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not that I'll ever admit I'm a grown up. EVER.

Little Sister Problems

I'm still giggling at this photobomb!

ME: I feel like N saw the camera and was all "ME TOO!!!" Just like a little sister O_o

MARI: Hating?!?!? But the key is that we grind- even if it is to photobomb. I imagine her scooting and crawling at Lance Armstrong-steroid-cocktail-speed to make the photo and BOOM! There, she made it.

*smooches...finding it hard to argue that logic*
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everyone who has a little sister understands this scenario well

Somebody Loves Your Life

Friday night.

I'm writing this post after a full day of working and bullshitting, but I didn't want to leave you without an inspirational message to carry into the weekend.

I'm not sure how y'all roll, but the winter months depress the hell out of me. All this darkness, all this cold, all these streets devoid of sweet-smelling flowers (there's an old Italian woman on the corner with the most fragrant yard! I love walking past her house every morning...in the spring and summer...). All I want to do is hide under my flannel sheets until April.

It's around this time that I also begin to doubt myself and my worth and just how ambitious I am, because the colder and darker it gets, the more excuses I find to not go out with friends or workout or attend events that may further my career. Hell, I barely want to go to work and I LOVE getting a paycheck my job!

But a while ago, after my divorce, I took to looking in the mirror and telling myself I was hot. I would fix my hair up, experiment with gaudy makeup and pose for my towels and shampoo bottles. (Shout out to Tyra & Co. for teaching me to smize.) Superficial, but hey, whatever keeps me from swallowing razor bladed, non?



I want you to look at yourself and appreciate what you see, regardless of flaws. I don't have the sexiest nose and my top lip isn't as full as I wish it would be, and woe is me and my raccoon eyes, but I appreciate what I see. Because I'm alive and (relatively) well. And deep down, beneath all the bad feelings, I know people want me to be OK. People love me and I love them right back.

But if you struggle to find someone in your corner, look no further than this Jaded NYer.

*smooches...hoping you appreciate all your tomorrows*
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also, play this tune when you get up in the morning. instant pick-me-up!

Moving With Purpose, Learning To Rest

I have a lot to do. Wait, let me rephrase that: I have a lot that I WANT to do. No, that's not right either. I HAVE A LOT THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. Stories to write, events to plan, kids to raise, apartments to clean and redesign, love life to cultivate. That last one was just thrown in to make me seem more human and less machine-like, but if John Cusack showed up tomorrow to marry me my life would be so much easier. Someone call him and let him know.

Shit, I'm off topic.

Oh yeah: I HAVE A LOT THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

This is nothing new, except I have been working toward only burdening myself with tasks that mean something, that will illicit a positive change or benefit in my life, that will bring peace to The Voices my soul. It's harder than my previous method of existing--which including me gorging on food while wasting time online--because I'm fighting those bad time-wasting habits at every turn. I honestly have to remind myself, every five minutes, that I'm not on task.

Let's just take a minute and admit that focusing has never been my strong suit. I blame society's obsession with MULTITASKING. We've multi-tasked our way into a full-blown adult ADD epidemic. Just because you can be on the phone while sending an email and eating your lunch, doesn't mean you should. You're just asking to get some Buffalo wing sauce all over pants (not to mention your keyboard. ewww. that's how germs are spread!).

At the same DAMN time that all of my purposeful TO DO items are getting crossed off my Post-Its, I also have been learning to rest. Get into a different position. Stand whenever possible. STOP eating Swedish fish candies during deadlines. I'm currently battling some constant lower back pain of unknown origin and I'm quite sure it's my body telling me that I'm fucking everything up. I'm not stretching, moving, lifting, sprinting and most importantly, I'm not RESTING.

Tonight I take the plunge. I'll work for a little bit, play for a little bit, and then get my ass to bed by 11. Yes, 11. But before 11 I'm going to aim to keep my activities at least 50% purposeful (and only 50% watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix). If I'm successful, my reward will be a full night's sleep.

If I'm not, I'll eat an eggplant. BLECH!

*smooches...working on me, always*
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this is the task that never ends, folks!

Notes On A Random Wednesday

I just wanted to share a few tidbits with you about me and what I'm thinking right now, if you'll allow the indulgence. (Yeah right- love it or leave it, bitchezzz!)

1- Sometimes, when I'm alone in my apartment or the girls have gone to bed, I put on my favorite matte-ish maroon/burgundy lipstick and watch myself talk in the mirror. I am mesmerized at how great my lips look in this deep red hue. I like to see them forming words, smiling, yawning- the works. I practice cursing people out, flirting, reading out loud and giving speeches or being interviewed. Then I pose for close-up glamour shots.

2- I'm reading tonight at Sycamore Bar in Ditmas Park (1118 Cortelyou Road) and am considering wearing my favorite matte-ish maroon/burgundy lipstick, so that the audience can enjoy the visual as well as my five-minute presentation of greatness. Except I'm wondering if the space is poorly lit, which means people will barely be able to see my lips. And that would suck.

3- Tonight I want to read a reworked piece that was originally going to be my first novel, until I decided that novels are for losers and short stories is where it's at, son! It's the one where the young girl kills her stepmother. I had a daydream about it (that's how I write my stories sometimes, by daydreaming about them) and saw it working so beautifully as a short.

4- I also decided that tonight I'm going to flirt with white boys, and I wonder if my favorite matte-ish maroon/burgundy lipstick and story about an unapologetic and disillusion murderer will turn them off. Also, I wonder if five minutes into a flirting session I'll abandon my mission and seek out the large, black bouncer that I imagine works the door (because usually these hipster bars have a huge black bouncer working the door).

5- My allotted time on stage is sometime between 10 and 10:30, and I'm not sure how I feel about that, given the event starts at 7. It's a school night. And I'm still trying to catch up with "Grey's Anatomy" (currently holding steady at the beginning of Season 6; Izzy just left Karev and the Mercy West folks have infiltrated). That time slot also makes me a bit nervous because I already have enough trouble getting people to attend my events... and who the hell is going to stay FOUR HOURS to hear a bunch of unknowns read some bullshit stories (except mine; mine isn't bullshit, it's AWESOME.) and try to look cool?

Maybe I'll just wear some chapstick and keep to myself like I usually do. This all sounds exhausting and uneccessary.

*smooches...clearly not in the mood for a reading*
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when I sign up for these things they sound like good ideas until the day arrives and all I want is to go home and chill on my sofa.

Tuesday On The Rocks

Just because I'm no longer a lush, it doesn't mean that, occasionally, I can't daydream about lounging in a hammock with a fruity alcoholic drink. Just swaying in the breeze, not a care in the world. An old boombox, antennae up, playing this and other sweet island tunes:



I came into work determined to get shit done, but when I sat at my desk I felt so unfocused. Again. I felt this way on Friday, over the weekend and yesterday. Sleep deprivation and a fucked-up back have a way of messing with your brain, you know. Then I played Kes' new tune and I instantly settled down. So far, three tasks have been crossed off my TO DO list.

Proves my theory: Soca Music Fixes Everything.

What helps you get through the day (besides a good night's sleep)?

*smooches...dreaming of a coconut rum punch*
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so I'll be getting one this weekend :)

What Are You Doing Wednesday NIght?

Your answer SHOULD be: "Coming to hear you read in Ditmas Park, Raquel!"

I go on at about 10PM. I understand that this is mighty late on a school night, but it would be so amazing to see some friendly faces in the crowd. I'm not sure what I'm reading just yet, but me and my new fabulously straight-from-the-Dominican-salon hair will be there, reading our little hearts out.

I mean, you'd be there if you loved me. Just saying.

*smooches...gearing up for my first appearance of 2013*
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these hipsters ain't ready for the Great And Powerful Jaded One!

Not Stopping

Like most folks, I'm sure a lot of you decided to "get healthy" this year "for real" because you're tired of your gut or whatever. Listen, I'm not here to judge; it's Friday and I promised only uplifting and helpful posts to cheer you on in your endeavors. But honestly if all you wrote down was GET HEALTHY without any real plan or guidelines in place, you're going to fail. I speak from experience.

I'm not going to preach to you about a Paleo/Primal lifestyle and I'm not going to force you to come to socacize with me or anything, but please know that you have to make realistic, practical and SMART plans for your new healthy life. And those plans should include some sort of food adjustments and body movements. That's it. That's the secret: care about what you put in your body and care about how much you allow your body to move and stretch.

Also, there's this:

It's pretty much all here...

You can do this. I am doing this so I know you can do it. I will not leave you behind and I will never be OK with you not loving yourself enough to get well. That's what real friends do. So what, you had a bag of chips today? Don't have one tomorrow. Don't give up, no matter how many times you trip up and wake up covered in red velvet cake crumbs. "Get Healthy" all you want--cold turkey, baby steps, whatever it takes.

And if you need a little push to move your tush from its permanent seat at your computer station...



You know I couldn't resist! But in my defense, nothing gets you out of your seat more than soca!

*smooches...hoping you will ALL join me on the Parkway*
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oh, did I not mention I was joining a mas band?

Musical Interlude

My brain is so cloudy right now, which could mean that I will either snap someone's neck for gently brushing past me on the bus OR I could call in sick at work and spend the entire day in bed in the fetal position lamenting all my life's decisions.. You just never know with me and The Voices. Our mood swings are legendary!

As you know, I work hard to stay out of jail and the crazy house, so when my vision is blurred like this, I just turn up the volume on whatever music-playing device is nearby and drown out my own thinking. Trust me, nothing important is going on up there right now, and tunes are my way of pressing RESTART.

I went back in time for this interlude, because you youngins should not live in a world where you don't know who The (Young) Rascals are. You just shouldn't.











Let's ignore this feeling I have that I just recreated the soundtrack for The Virgin Sucides and just enjoy the sweet, haunting melodies.

*smooches...taking a chill pill*
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because sometimes you just need to

Where I'll Be Next Week

Tonight I went to a very tough but very awesome Pilates (machine) class in Gramercy Park. WOOOOO let me tell you, those movements spoke to my body! They were all, "Yes, rotate from the hip! Feel the burn! We love you! We're strengthening your core! WE LOVE YOU! ISN'T THAT STRETCH AWESOME?! NOW HOLD IT FOR A SIX-COUNT!" Oh yes, I enjoyed it so much I will be back in two weeks.

I would have signed up for the Wednesday class next week, but I'll be busy sharing one of my fabulous stories with a captive audience at Sycamore Bar in Ditmas Park. And you should definitely come out to support me and buy me a seltzer water (with lime!) and tell me my hair is pretty.

I'm going to attempt to read something new. If I can write it this weekend. So you should absolutely grab a seat in the front row and throw your panties at me. See you there!

*smooches...starting the year off pretty well*
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I have more things in the works so stay tuned!

The Hippies Won

I come to you waving my white flag. I can no longer resist the urge to become "one with nature" and all that good stuff. You can officially call me one of those new-age wack jobs that eats sprouted grains, organic foods, shops at a co-op and spends moments each day greeting the sun and moon and thanking them for life. Yes, that's me.

I dance in very little clothes. I believe that evening primrose oil will help with my fibroids. I have faith in the power of yoga and mindful meditation. I have an appointment for a reiki healing session this weekend. I'M CURRENTLY RESEARCHING ACUPUNCTURISTS IN MY AREA; also, ways to compost in my apartment. I might even purchase a few purifying plants to help me breathe better at home.

I use a neti pot. I'VE QUIT PORN.

The end is near, folks. The Jaded NYer you've known and loved all this time is (d)evolving back into a hemp shoe-wearing, tree-hugging, earth-loving new-ager. Except this one doesn't really drink and that used to be the funnest part of being a tree nymph.

I still eat Buffalo wings, though. And I still write. And my machete remains mighty. So maybe you won't disown me just yet...

*smooches...changing for the better, I hope*
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if not then one of y'all can host a kegger for my intervention

When Self-Doubt Creeps In

"...when something happens too easily, it must be hard to tell if you really want it. Even if whatever it is fits you better than anything else." -Abigail Armstrong, "Dance Academy"

*smooches...passing on what I've learned from Season 3*
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there are a lot of gems on this show, son!

Jaded Photograph: January 2013 Edition

"And He Brought Myrrh"

*smooches...hoping you find your way this year*
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also, it's the feast of the epiphany, so behave yourself today, you know, in case there really is a god

Until The Referee Rings The Bell

I know a lot of you secretly made some resolutions for the New Year, but are publicly stating that resolutions are for losers. It's OK; we all do it. Luckily you have a Jaded NYer in your corner, and I promise that if you come back here every Friday I'll have some encouraging words and music to help keep you on track toward the best you.

Right now you're probably kicking yourself because the promises you made for 2013 have already been broken--you ate junk food, drank coffee, overslept, punched your neighbor in the face (or was that just in my dreams?). But remember my wise words from just a few days ago:

"EVERY SECOND we're alive and breathing and capable brings hope and promise. Every minute is a new blessing. Every hour brings an opportunity to do better; you don't have to wait until the next day or week or month."

And I know you; you possess an inner strength that can move a thousand Rick Rosses. You stumbled a bit, because this new life is, well, NEW, and you're not used to it yet. But you can't expect to change a zillion years of bad habits overnight just because the year on your calendar changed. You're going to stumble. "To err is human."

It's what you do after that matters most.



*smooches...helping you back up*
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and I brought Band-aids for your boo-boos!

She's Getting So Big!

Or maybe not, seeing as all Mari wanted for her birthday was a pair of Minnie Mouse ears like she had when she was a little girl. And of course, because I'm one of those people that likes to spoil kids and then complain about how spoiled they are, I bought them for her.

They shoulda never gave her an iPhone!

Happy birthday to the first spoiled, bratty poop-face I ever helped raise!

*smooches...just for Mari today*
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can't wait to celebrate when I visit in a few weeks. Patty Boom-Boom's, here we come!

Twelve Books

I came across a reading challenge on Goodreads (feel free to look me up; my username is RPenzo), asking folks to set up a goal for the year of how much books we plan on devouring in 2013. When I went on the site I saw some people were aiming for as many as 200 books and I was all DON'T YOU HAVE A LIFE?!?! I love books as much as the next guy but come on- 200 books? That sounds to me like someone who needs a job and a variety of diverse hobbies.

I am more realistic about my time and attention span; I only aim to finish 12 books this year. Simply one book a month. I would like at least three of those to be in Spanish, so I can practice the language some more. But that's it.

Now, of course I have a trillion books borrowed from the library PLUS all the books I've bought in the last six months to choose from, but if you have any suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments. Right now I'm leaning towards Chango's Fire by Ernesto Quiñones (about an arsonist-for-hire in Spanish Harlem) or Fighting Castro: A Love Story by Kay Abella (Cuban doctor imprisoned by Castro as a resistance leader and the doctor's wife has to decide the fate of the rest of the family), but most likely I'll just start with Francisco Sanchez Jimenez's Estación Stockton (child I can't tell you what it's about because the back cover is so freakin' VAGUE!).

And don't look at me like that just because all the books on my list are by Latino authors. Shoooo, if I don't support my people, who will?

*smooches...hunkering down for the winter*
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It's so cold today; I hope I survive the season!

Happy New Year!!

From your favorite blogger and her two (amazing, adorable, intelligent, bad-ass) crazy daughters.

funky hats are their thing lol

We hope 2013 is good to you and yours!

*smooches...grateful for you and everyone in my life*
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no hangover for me this year. WOO HOO!