Friday, April 18, 2014

Mary Speaks On...

...her recent trip to Buffalo:

"If depression were a place, it would be the downtown Buffalo bus station. It's #turrible. Imagine a place where the Boulevard of Broken Dreams meets the drop off spot for meth recovery center grads, who stumbled upon some crystal a few hours ago."

*smooches...glad I've never gone to Buffalo by bus*
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although part of me wants to witness this slice of Americana firsthand

Thursday, April 17, 2014

We Want Each Other Oh So Much...

...why must we play this game?

Don't care where we go
I don't care what we do
I don't care pretty baby
Just take me with you...

Sorry, y'all... I just had a Prince moment. He comes over me (nasty!) from time to time and I'll become obsessed with one of his songs to the point that I drive everyone around me insane.

I don't care if we spend the night at your mansion
I don't care if we spend the night on the town
All I want is 2 spend the night together
All I want is 2 spend the night in your arms


Recently it was "Take Me With U" by Prince.


(I had to post this Janelle Monae cover because y'all already know Prince ain't OK with his stuff being on YouTube!)

Damn that was a good song!!! Deny it, I dare you!

I have it on iTunes AND I have the vinyl; that one I play in my room when the babies are gone and it's just me and my thoughts.

Just take me with u
Oh wont u take me with u
Honey take me with u

I'm missing His Purple Majesty's pre-Jehovah days... did you know he won't even perform "Darling Nikki" anymore? Pure sadness.

*smooches...in a sweet, funky groove*
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dare I ask: what's you're favorite Prince song? Or maybe top 5 because who can choose just one?

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Another Day, Another Published Book

Hey SUCKAS! Guess what I just got? THE PROOF TO MY READING SERIES' ANTHOLOGY!



And listen, it's not as hefty as I wanted it to be--people just weren't submitting stuff--I love it. The cover is so snazzy (thanks, Marcin!) and the stories and poems within were hand-picked by ME, so you know it's awesome!

I'm having a book release party on Tuesday, April 29, at La Casa Azul Bookstore in East Harlem.



You should be there for the following reasons:
1. I'm awesome and you love and support me and everything I do.
2. There will be wine.
3. Some truly talented people contributed to this book.
4. There will be cupcakes.
5. You're going to want to take a picture with me + my red-red lipsticked self.
6. There will be wine + cupcakes.
7. My autograph will be worth MILLIONS soon; get it now for free (with the purchase of a book).
8. You can get drunk + eat cupcakes for two hours.
9. My short, "Erasing Cedrick," will rock your socks off.
10. Alcohol + Sugar already RSVPd.

So, see you there?

*smooches...gearing up for bigger things*
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I'm like a shark; if I stop moving I die!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

FML: A Healthy Jaded Update

So real quick because I'm SICK of my body being sick... the latest BS my body is putting me through is a vitamin B12 deficiency, which is baffling my doctor because I eat animal protein all day, every day, and supposedly that's where we naturally get this particular vitamin from.

Y U No - Body y u no absorb b12?

Of course I look up what could happen if I just WELPSIES this information away, and WebMD was all


Apparently a severe deficiency can lead to deep depression, paranoia and delusions, memory loss, incontinence, loss of taste and smell, and more, according to this article. CHILD, why am I ALREADY suffering from most of those things?!?! I swear, someone is playing a cruel, cruel joke on me...

Next stop on this crazy train I call the Jaded Health Express: an upper endoscopy. More on that hot mess later.

*smooches...wondering how long 'til BETTER*
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it has to be soon, right?

Monday, April 14, 2014

Alien Abductions Are Real

WHO BELONGS TO THESE SHOES? 

WHERE DID THEY TAKE HIM???

The Lonely Shoes (c) 2014 The Jaded NYer

*smooches...getting my aluminum foil hat ready*
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this is not a drill, ladies and gentlemen!