Of Course I Can't Quit You!

My loves, my darlings, my old faithful blog readers!!!

Did you feel abandoned? Forgotten? Discarded? I apologize for neglecting you this way. I have no excuse, just been in my own world and not in the mood to share myself via this platform.

However, I could not let the year end without writing something.

Has 2014 been my best year? Not even close. Has it been the worst? NOPE. And that's what I'm choosing to move forward with: I didn't do it all, but I didn't fall apart, either. And if you're a long-time reader of this site you know that's huge for me.

This year's highlights? Getting more stories published, making my very first (kickass) sancocho & homemade sofrito, and my family vacation in DR over the Thanksgiving break. JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH all knew I needed that injection of sunshine and family. It was everything.

I know, I know: we're awesome!

I'm going to make (the) next year(s) all of that, and then some; have more fun. That's my one and only resolution.



You should all do the same.

*smooches...and hugs on this New Year's Eve*
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love someone and mean it, especially yourself

How 2013 Will Be Different: A Year In Review...Sort Of

Every year brings such hope and promise, right? It's a time to start anew and make necessary changes, yes? Bull. The fact is EVERY SECOND we're alive and breathing and capable brings hope and promise. Every minute is a new blessing. Every hour brings an opportunity to do better; you don't have to wait until the next day or week or month. This is the one thing I've learned in the past year, and probably something I've known all along but was too afraid to admit.

Right now, I'm focusing on me and mine, and hope to carry this on moving forward. Listen, I had fun in 2012: learned about my health, traveled, rocked some great hair, but I didn't do a lot of the important things I wanted to accomplish. My goals for 2013 are simple, and will surely help me accomplish so many positive things. I haven't sat down and planned my attack yet because I just want to let my brain get there naturally and on its own time. The only thing I'm certain of at this moment is that, for the rest of my life, all I want to do is:

• Put family first
• Write
• Dance
• Be outside
• Love my body

All the rest will fall into place.

*smooches..wishing you all a happy, healthy and prosperous future*
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yes, I still have a thing for the number five. shut up.

What I Learned In 2011: A Year In Review

2011 was an interesting year full of realizations and turning points for me, and for the first time I found myself with more good times than bad. Mostly, I learned so much about myself, the people in my circle and the world in general in these 12 short months. Like:

• It is possible to eat real food and still maintain great health.
• You don't have to beat your body to a pulp to be fit.
• No matter how 'independent' a child appears to be, they all need plenty and constant supervision and guidance.
• I don't need alcohol to have a good time.
• Makeup is not the devil's tool.
• Hot irons, however, are from Hades.
• My self-esteem does not rely upon how many men have seen me naked.
• A clean kitchen can make all the difference.
• Ex-boyfriends are ex-boyfriends for a reason.
• Helping others feels great.
• No one is looking at what I do more than me.
• Somewhere out there is a home for each and every story I have to tell.
• My grandfather has swagger for days. Just swag on swag on swag.
• Everyone needs a break from everything once in a while.
• Too many folks are wholeheartedly invested in the lives of reality TV stars.
• I can control how long or short my attention span is. Without pills.
• My body IS my temple.
• The idea of a husband and a home is not all that scary.
• Writing is how I will live forever.
• Soca music...is LIFE.

From all of us here at The Jaded Empire, have a Happy and Prosperous New Year!

*smooches...looking forward to new lessons in 2012*
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y'all party safe, okay? use the buddy system and most importantly remember that alcohol poisoning is REAL.
Shout out to Jose Vilson for the blog post idea.

Blink And You'll Miss The Good Parts

2010 Went like this:

I was broke, unemployed, miserable, almost evicted. I met a guy; it went well for a bit and then it ended. Didn't get to travel, canceled my radio show, deleted some negative people from my life.

In between all that I saw a few movies, hosted a few readings, wrote a few stories, read a few books, shared a few laughs and saw PRINCE in concert.

I'm not putting much stock in 2011. All I ask is that Jamie Cullum play a show in NYC that I can attend, N get into the middle school of her dreams, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2" be awesome, I get a story published in a literary journal, K has a nice sweet sixteen party and somebody, somewhere employs me full-time as a writer of some sort so that I can pay down my debts.

Everything else is just whatever.

*smooches...with good cheer and all that other bullshit*
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and blah blah blah, something witty and snarky, blah blah.

"Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot..."

It's almost 2010 THANK GOODNESS and 2009 will be nothing more than a really bad acid trip I should have avoided by moving to DR and working with my Tia in her event planning business. Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, I had escape plans, baby. Solid, written out, thought out escape plans. Y'all are lucky I changed my mind at the last minute!

So...another year, another suicide attempt... what, too soon? Okay, okay, I won't joke about it. I'll just jump right into the Year In Review; my FOURTH one, by the way, but who's counting?

~ENERO~
Mari decided to run for the Uruguayan presidency in 2012, I started posting my semi-quasi-wannabe professional photographs on the blog, some birds crash a plane into the Hudson River, I went to VEGAS, BABY! and some black dude is inaugurated as President of the United States.
~Movies Released This Month That I Saw~
Not Easily Broken
Notorious
New In Town

~FEBRERO~
The recession begins to strangle me, I READ one of MY STORIES in front of PEOPLE for the first time EVER. And am still alive.
~Movies Released This Month That I Saw~
He's Just Not That Into You
Two Lovers



~MARZO~
I can feel my downward spiral begin to take shape but ignore it. The results are a bunch of spastic blog posts where I take turns joking or ranting about my insanity, or just plain lie about feeling better. Oh, and Mami bought a house in NJ and those stupid Dum-in-a-cans lose to the Netherlands in the World Baseball Classic. GRRRRR!
~Movies Released This Month That I Saw~
Sin Nombre
Sunshine Cleaning
The Accidental Husband

~ABRIL~
I met someone when I wasn't looking for someone and it masked my depression because it just felt so good to have something fun and unexpected fall on my lap; I also began studying Vedic Meditation and out of frustration shut down Monday Musings for the summer break. But The Amazin' Mets are BACK because baseball began on the 6th!!
~Movies Released This Month That I Saw~
Sugar
Obsessed

~MAYO~
"Go shorty...it's ya berfday! We gon' party like it's ya berfday!" And I did. So much so that I had my first ever alcohol-induced blackout. However I did NOT throw up. I'm gangsta like that! I also got to see Alice Smith in concert. OWW!
~Movie Released This Month That I Saw~
Ummmm, none... but did I meantion I saw Alice Smith in concert? OWWWWW!



~JUNIO~
I can barely remember anything else from this month except that I had JURY DUTY, a MURDER CASE complete with photos of A DEAD BODY that subsequently reminded me that not only am I severely depressed but I have no god to help me through it. Then I get laid off. BANNER MONTH!
~Movies Released This Month That I Saw~
Away We Go
The Hangover
The Taking of Pelham 123

~JULIO~
Some personal friendship & relationship issues become the straw that broke the camel's back. I shut down my Twitter account, make the blog private and try & take the coward's way out. This was a bad month. "...Real bad, Michael Jackson..." But before it got that way I saw Maxwell LIVE and he sang to ME. Perfection.
~Movies Released This Month That I Saw~
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
500 Days of Summer
Orphan
Adam

~AGOSTO~
A little trip to Massachusetts to visit my guardian angels Nina & Cathi saves me from myself. For which I am eternally grateful. I was still depressed, but hardly suicidal anymore.
~Movies Released This Month That I Saw~
I was too busy saving myself to watch movies, I guess...



~SEPTIEMBRE~
K starts HIGH SCHOOL at my alma mater (GO TECHNITES!) and I read a little book by Paolo Coelho that changes my life. Well, maybe not my life but my outlook on my depression. At least for September. And, most importantly, I'm back on the air with Monday Musings!
~Movies Released This Month That I Saw~
Extract
I Can Do Bad All By Myself
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs

~OCTUBRE~
Thanks to Ms. Eb the Celeb (Basically this was my Road Dawg this whole summer & I love her to bits for it) I got to see my boo Ludacris LIVE...with special guest Estelle and NAS, bitches- NAS!!! And I opened my online store PLUS on Halloween, I forced myself to go out and actually had a GREAT time.
~Movies Released This Month That I Saw~
Good Hair
The Maid
The Ministers

~NOVIEMBRE~
Another concert was the highlight of an otherwise craptastic month- LAURA IZIBOR- courtesy of my little sister from another mister, Mari. It was such a great show, honestly. Also, I bought some new shit to replace some old shit and it cost a lot of money.
~Movies Released This Month That I Saw~
Precious
2012

~DICIEMBRE~
Oh December, you old cow, you! How how killed my spirit over and over and over! This was the first year I had nothing to give my kids for Christmas and my depression began/is now at similar levels last seen in July. But Christmas weekend was nice so I won't drink the Windex just yet.
~Movies Released This Month That I Saw~
The Princess and the Frog



*smooches...wishing you all the best wish anyone can wish in 2010*
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I'll probably be home watching The Wire when the ball drops. The rest of you party animals BE SAFE!!

And yes, I know a whole slew of other things happened this year, but, er, if you want to remember it all, either read the archives or a freakin newspaper. What do I look like, CNN?!?!

"Next Year, Baby"

You know what time it is... that's right homies, this is the post where I recap all the ups, downs and side to sides that happened in the Jaded NYer's life.

First I want to thank you all for reading and commenting and giving me a reason to write shit down everyday; it's nice to be appreciated and I'm truly humbled by it.

Sooooo, 2008, man, it was crazy to say the least. You ready? Let's roll...

January: I made this list of "promises" to myself that I did not keep, like getting fit and ordering less takeout and what not. PFFT, who was I kidding?!

Favorite post-- Racial Profiling On The F-Train

February: THE GIANTS WIN THE SUPERBOWL and two days later I'm at death's door. Coincidence? I think not... you know, C just happens to be a Jets fan...

Favorite post-- Hey There Number 57

March: Oh, Spitzer... how interesting you made my March... I can't even thank you enough. I believe I got like FOUR awesome posts out of your foolishness. Client #9 indeed!

Favorite post-- In Case You Didn't Know

April: This month my posts all seemed very life-reflective n shit, and I got a little gimmicky with the whole, song-lyrics-as-titles thing, but most importantly, fellow Dominicano extraordinaire Junot Diaz wins the Pulitzer for his novel, The Brief, Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. Have you read it yet?

Favorite post-- Cada Dia Pienso En Ti

May: Lordy lord lord... my birthday celebrations were HERETOFORE, okay?! I partied in NYC AND in Boston, 'cause I gots it like that. And my liver? Yeah it has yet to fully recover.

Favorite post-- What It's Like To Have A Good Relationship With Your Ex

June: I got my 3rd tattoo and the party of the year is in... Springfield, Massachusetts? Yessir, you'd better believe it, and it was the most partiest party of all time.

Favorite post-- My Autobiography Would Sound Like This

July: This month I revisited another slight obsession of mine- being a redhead! Ever since I saw The Quiet Man as a kid I wanted red hair like Maureen O'Hara, so I went to MariJosie and got me some. And admit it- you all loved it!

Favorite post-- Feel The Wrath Of God

August: I went to some idiot neurologist for my headaches and it ends in pure disaster... long story short, he did NOTHING for me. Oh, and I met C's girlfriend because he brought her ass to N's birthday party.

Favorite post-- Sign O The Times

September: Monday Musings w/The Jaded NYer & Friends launches on Blog Talk Radio with me n Mari talking 'bout Dominicans and Haitians and why we can't/don't/won't get a long. And my family of inanimate objects grows by one: I (finally) got a bike!

Favorite post-- I Had To Start Eating Breakfast Because...

October: I took on the idea of religion and Christianity in one of my posts and was totally amazed to so so many co-signers... and no lightening fell from the sky or anything! See that, Sister Dorothy? You were WRONG!

Favorite post-- I Wish...

November: Holy Shit- a Black president. Can you just DIE? I had zero faith in the dude, seriously, but he proved me wrong and I commend him. He did the damn thing. But more importantly- Eden Elizabeth McKenzie was born on Thanksgiving Day.

Favorite post-- My Concession Speech

December: This month was also very reflective for me... I realized '08 wasn't all I wanted it to be and fell into familiar self-destructive habits. But with a little help from my (family and) friends, I made it to the end in one piece. Thanks, y'all!

Favorite post-- No Mas List Of 2008: 10 Latinos Who Need To Give It Up Already

My dear lovelies, it's been an absolute blast!! I can't tell you enough times how blessed (yes, I wrote blessed... just DEAL, okay?) I feel to have you all in my life, even if it's mostly virtual and not actual.

Isn't it amazing how Blogger brought us all together?

From all of us here inside Raquel's head at The Jaded NYer, have a Happy, Prosperous New Year, and please be safe out there, have a wonderfully festively time, and I'll "see" you next year, baby:



*smooches...looking forward to another year of greatness on this earth*
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I want nothing but success from and for all of you, so get to work! And after we've conquered the world, let's throw a big-ass party to celebrate how freakin awesome we are, mmkay?

I'll bring the Brugal :P

My First Full Year As A Blogger

Last year at this time, my review of the previous year was a breakdown of the month-to-month craziness of my life. So of course, anal-retentive, OCD Raquel was at the ready with a note pad and a pen, prepared to take notes and do the same for 2007. And then I thought "GOD! Will I ever stop being that freshman year Brooklyn Tech nerd?"

Slowly, and without sudden movements so as not to upset the voices, I put the notepad down, tucked the pen behind my ear and decided to wing it.

...

So yeah, 2007, WOW... lots of crazy stuff...

OH MY GOD who am I kidding! I just developed a rash on my left hand at the thought of not going in chronological order...

JANUARY: Bloomberg "wows" me with his PlaNYC announcement and almost makes me want to vote...but then I came to my senses. One of my exes stops by for dinner and a movie and it's just that- dinner and a movie- and WOE IS ME, Uncle Sam cuts me out of the will.

FEBRUARY: Mari convinces me to get back on MySpace and I do because, you know, I need ANOTHER distraction to my To-Do list, but I do manage to finish my thesis by the 28th, I think, despite the new/old obsession with profile layouts and songs.

MARCH: I'm in full-blown-vow-of-celibacy mode and I feel really good about that. But then I see a video of these poor dolphins being slaughtered by Japanese fisherman and I almost fall into a coma. But THEN I discover Naked Juice and feel a little better.

APRIL: This was a big month-- I go on one of many really bad dates, and then one of only two good ones. Imus loses his damn mind (that HO!) while I take more baby steps towards total media domination, and have a brush with my first stalker. I re-embrace my inner tree-hugger and try to become the Dalai Lama, much to Jack's chagrin.

MAY: I SEE VELVET REVOLVER IN CONCERT FOR MY BIRTHDAY. Nothing else that happens this month even matters...

JUNE: This is a bad emotionally charged month, according to the chart I keep hidden on my computer (there goes that nerd girl again), whose cause has yet to announce itself. I just remember being sad. A lot.

JULY: Party, party, party...new tattoo, party, EEK! A MOUSE, party, and an ex tracks me down via Google. This was July.


AUGUST: Ahh, the last days of summer... Let's see, what happened in August, gee, I can't remember, hmm... oh yeah, that's right, I FREAKING GRADUATE and become THE MASTER OF FINE ARTS. Oh, but then on a scary note I am offered- and witness people snorting- cocaine at a party *shudder*, and then try to build a relationship with my brother (one of them, anyway) using MySpace (which, by the way, doesn't work at all).

SEPTEMBER: I go back to Montauk after a super-long hiatus (ahhhhhhhh) and have my thesis panel (ahhhhhhh X 2) which results in a week long graduation celebration as only Raquel could do it (yes, of course alcohol was involved). I finally FINALLY see Sean Paul LIVE (can I just have his babies already?) and have many a revelation regarding my life, my hair (I got bangs, y'all!) my goals, writing and why I'm just not ready to have a man. Especially the kind with narcolepsy.

OCTOBER: NINA!!!!!! 'nuff said.

NOVEMBER: This month is also a particularly crabby one, according to the nerd girl mood chart, but this time it is attributed to a really, really bad date. I guess it could be considered the date that broke the levee. Or the camel's back. Yeah, it is a bad date. *OOF* it's bad!!! So bad in fact that I lose my goddamned mind and actually go to a doctor!! But Thanksgiving is fun, so I guess it isn't all bad.

DECEMBER: This month flies by so fast that all I remember is "An Inconvenient Truth," Pajama Christmas Weekend and the fact that I break a promise to myself and go to see a shrink. But in my defense, it was either see a shrink or kill the staff assistant at my office. I think I make the right choice. I think...

Phew! A whole year of Jaded bliss: Gilmore Girl marathons. Trips. Boys. Drinking. Netflix. Ex-boyfriends popping up out of nowhere. Penzo's multiplying like freakin' rabbits.

I don't know 'bout y'all, but I'm soooooooo over it.


Where the fuck is 2008 already??



*smooches...anticipating another year full of kisses from me to you*
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it's been a real trip, y'all, and I'm so honored that you all came along for the ride. even if it was just to point and laugh. because I know you were laughing WITH me, right? right?

What a Difference a Year Makes...

JANUARY: I move into a quaint little apartment in the BoroPark/Kensington/Greenwood section of Brooklyn with my two girls. And by quaint I mean SMALL AS FUCK. But I love it nonetheless because it's mine and mine and mine. I visit LA for the first time and have a very memorable one night stand. So memorable in fact that when I revisit LA in April we hook up again. He was fab (hey boo- wassup?)

FEBRUARY: We lose one of our regulars at the basement hellhole I call a job and I start to realize what a bitch Karma really is...those of us left behind, however, form a tighter bond against The Man...

MARCH: Meet someone semi-decent from Yahoo Personals, but upon closer inspection find that he is WAY TOO SIMILAR to my ex-husband. I put the breaks on the romance and we remain platonic friends instead. Mostly because I lie and say I was celibate. What? Why are you laughing?

APRIL: Do my little LA repeat (just what I need) but am still in the basement and funky as hell about it. I meet someone else who's real nice (hi hon- feeling better?) and we embark on an ill-fated romance. You'll rememeber him as D, no. 11 on my list of beaus a while back.

MAY: Get trashed (and laid) on Cinco de Mayo...in fact that whole weekend is a blur of alcohol, pot and sex...good times, good times...Get re-acquainted with Lani (and I'm so glad 'cause I missed her so!!!). Plan and execute a FABULOUS 4-day adventure to Key West with Irene & Mari as we visit Celia for my birthday. We drink lots, go parasailing and kayaking, lay out on the beach and get VERY tan, smoke a little pot...okay, okay so I was the only one who smoked pot. Shut up!! D and I decide to not see other people. My baby sis graduates from Cornell- don't hate!

JUNE: My attitude towards The Man and my basement job worsens...I barely have the strength to not strangle everyone related to him, especially Little Bitch Boy. I take my first trip to Atlantic City, a birthday gift for Cathi (hi, sweetie!!) and have a blast (thanks to D who set it all up)! My firstborn graduates from 5th grade and the baby survives kindergarten.

JULY: I'm so fed up with the basement by now that I start a blog to air my grievences; so many people have come and gone in my short tenure there that it's unbelievable to me...I just HAVE to write about it! I get to cover the NY International Latino Film Festival again, and things with D start to get sour. We celebrate K's 11th birthday by the pond in Prospect Park.

AUGUST: D breaks it off with me and I am officially in a mood to end all moods: I stop eating, hanging out with friends and become obsessed with watching Love Jones and "Sex and the City" while eating cheerios. I go away to school and end up writing some really good, just-had-my-heart-ripped-out-and-handed-to-me stuff...graduation and my MFA are within my reach and I start OPERATION: FREAK THE HELL OUT. By the end of the month...I quit the basement. Rumor has it The Man is PISSED at my departure!! We celebrate N's 6th birthday, but I phone it in as I'm still reeling from my break up. I have a "light-bulb moment" buying a chicken gyro from Mohammed the Falafel Vendor...most of you read that post while I was still on MySpace...

SEPTEMBER: I start temping and working from home; I notice a huge difference in my appearance- I've lost 20lbs and don't even know it! The downsides? None of my clothes fit right and my face breaks out due to my new non-diet. I shut down my MySpace account and start blogging here for all of you. My LA hook up calls to say he's in Atlanta now, and whenever I want to visit...

OCTOBER: Temping ends and I'm left finding piece-work here and there. My thesis moves along at a snail's pace. D contacts me after a month of radio silence and is all of a sudden very chatty and very interested in what's new with me...I wonder why? Oh, yeah, that's right- he wants to sleep with me...I get to see FERNANDITO and friends live in concert and it so makes my year. I'm so happy that night...until I meet up with Hoover and he violates my neck! I get a new webcam and the IM's with Jack become VERY interesting...

NOVEMBER: I find a new job as a *gasp* writer in Gramercy Park, Jack comes to visit and I get re-acquainted with rum and vertigo. I get my first pedicure and survive it. I have the absolute-without-a-doubt WORST SEX of my life (thanks a lot, Hoover!) and visit my baby sis in DC for Thanksgiving (her apartment is DA BOMB!).

DECEMBER: My divorce becomes final, FINALLY and that gives my ex carte blanc to start acting like a grimy ass fool. I decide to quit dating altogether (it's just going nowhere!). My thesis takes a permanent vacation as a scorching case of fear of success disguised as writer's block sets in. As of press time I'm still waiting on a decision about my extension. I cancel all New Year's Eve plans to stay home and spend some time with me...and decide what "me" likes to do is write for you.

Happy New Year, everybody. Can't wait to see what 2007 has in store for me!

*smooches...'cause I never get tired of kissing you*

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Ain't no feeling like being free

When your mind's made up

And your hearts in the right place, yeah

Ain't no feeling like being free

When you've done all you could

But what's misunderstood

(It's all good, it's all good)

Ain't no feeling like being free

I'm like an eagle set free

And finally I'm looking out for me

Ain't no feeling like being free

Cause my mind's made up

And my heart is in the right place, yeah