Last year at this time, my review of the previous year was a breakdown of the month-to-month craziness of my life. So of course, anal-retentive, OCD Raquel was at the ready with a note pad and a pen, prepared to take notes and do the same for 2007. And then I thought "GOD! Will I ever stop being that freshman year Brooklyn Tech nerd?"
Slowly, and without sudden movements so as not to upset the voices, I put the notepad down, tucked the pen behind my ear and decided to wing it.
So yeah, 2007, WOW... lots of crazy stuff...
OH MY GOD who am I kidding! I just developed a rash on my left hand at the thought of not going in chronological order...
JANUARY: Bloomberg "wows" me with his PlaNYC announcement and almost makes me want to vote...but then I came to my senses. One of my exes stops by for dinner and a movie and it's just that- dinner and a movie- and WOE IS ME, Uncle Sam cuts me out of the will.
FEBRUARY: Mari convinces me to get back on MySpace and I do because, you know, I need ANOTHER distraction to my To-Do list, but I do manage to finish my thesis by the 28th, I think, despite the new/old obsession with profile layouts and songs.
MARCH: I'm in full-blown-vow-of-celibacy mode and I feel really good about that. But then I see a video of these poor dolphins being slaughtered by Japanese fisherman and I almost fall into a coma. But THEN I discover Naked Juice and feel a little better.
APRIL: This was a big month-- I go on one of many really bad dates, and then one of only two good ones. Imus loses his damn mind (that HO!) while I take more baby steps towards total media domination, and have a brush with my first stalker. I re-embrace my inner tree-hugger and try to become the Dalai Lama, much to Jack's chagrin.
MAY: I SEE VELVET REVOLVER IN CONCERT FOR MY BIRTHDAY. Nothing else that happens this month even matters...
JUNE: This is a bad emotionally charged month, according to the chart I keep hidden on my computer (there goes that nerd girl again), whose cause has yet to announce itself. I just remember being sad. A lot.
JULY: Party, party, party...new tattoo, party, EEK! A MOUSE, party, and an ex tracks me down via Google. This was July.
AUGUST: Ahh, the last days of summer... Let's see, what happened in August, gee, I can't remember, hmm... oh yeah, that's right, I FREAKING GRADUATE and become THE MASTER OF FINE ARTS. Oh, but then on a scary note I am offered- and witness people snorting- cocaine at a party *shudder*, and then try to build a relationship with my brother (one of them, anyway) using MySpace (which, by the way, doesn't work at all).
SEPTEMBER: I go back to Montauk after a super-long hiatus (ahhhhhhhh) and have my thesis panel (ahhhhhhh X 2) which results in a week long graduation celebration as only Raquel could do it (yes, of course alcohol was involved). I finally FINALLY see Sean Paul LIVE (can I just have his babies already?) and have many a revelation regarding my life, my hair (I got bangs, y'all!) my goals, writing and why I'm just not ready to have a man. Especially the kind with narcolepsy.
OCTOBER: NINA!!!!!! 'nuff said.
NOVEMBER: This month is also a particularly crabby one, according to the nerd girl mood chart, but this time it is attributed to a really, really bad date. I guess it could be considered the date that broke the levee. Or the camel's back. Yeah, it is a bad date. *OOF* it's bad!!! So bad in fact that I lose my goddamned mind and actually go to a doctor!! But Thanksgiving is fun, so I guess it isn't all bad.
DECEMBER: This month flies by so fast that all I remember is "An Inconvenient Truth," Pajama Christmas Weekend and the fact that I break a promise to myself and go to see a shrink. But in my defense, it was either see a shrink or kill the staff assistant at my office. I think I make the right choice. I think...
Phew! A whole year of Jaded bliss: Gilmore Girl marathons. Trips. Boys. Drinking. Netflix. Ex-boyfriends popping up out of nowhere. Penzo's multiplying like freakin' rabbits.
I don't know 'bout y'all, but I'm soooooooo over it.
Where the fuck is 2008 already??
*smooches...anticipating another year full of kisses from me to you*
it's been a real trip, y'all, and I'm so honored that you all came along for the ride. even if it was just to point and laugh. because I know you were laughing WITH me, right? right?