Monday, December 31, 2007

In Defense Of The Tiger...And Other Musings

Friday's Nausea Brought To You By Lady Estrogen
I had plans. Good plans. FUN plans. For the first time in WEEKS. But noooooooo... The Lady had other plans. SO I had to stay my ass home and pass up a possible bump-in with famous people and free drinks with new friends. I hate my girl parts, I really do...

Cleaning House, Pt. 1
Among the other million trillion reasons to love my annoying little sis, she came over this weekend and helped me tackle the wild jungles of my messy apartment. It's hard to believe that such a small space can be such a HazMat target, but me and my girls have special mess-making's a gift, I can't explain it.

In Defense Of The Tiger
I'm sorry for the Sousa family's loss, but the tiger didn't belong in captivity, and was only acting instinctively. AND, I'm not a betting person, but there were allegations of the teens perhaps taunting the animal... Survival of the fittest, I always say.

Normal? That's What You Called Me For?
I don't know about you, but when I get a phone call from a physician's receptionist stating that the doctor "needs to" see me, of course I'm assuming that it's something important and crucial and just can't wait. NOT, as the case was with my wack-ass foreign doctor (yes, that is important to the story), just a call to say that my blood test and urinalysis was normal. I hate doctors even more than I hate my girl parts...

I Can't See His Face
So I'm watching a Gilmore Girls marathon this weekend, right, and one episode has a character listening to a self-help tape on finding your true love. Part of the tape had an exercise in visualizing the one you love, and asked the "reader" a series of questions like: Who's the person who'd make your vacation more enjoyable? Can you see [his] face? When you have good news, who do you most want to share it with? Can you see [his] face? I tried to play along and you know what I came up with? BUPKISS!

You know who makes my vacations more enjoyable? My friends and family. You know who I call first when I have good news to share? My friends and family. That "guy"-- THE guy...he just doesn't exist...

Cleaning House, Pt. 2
Hey, Chef, SVA Guy, and all your colleagues... it's been real, it's been fun, I've got enough stories and escapades to last me a lifetime. But this is the end of the line for you. This is your stop. This is where you get off and go home. And stop calling me. And forget you ever met me. As of January 1st I shall be doing the same.

* so ready for the next year*
what's worse? that I can't see his face or that I don't care that I can't see his face? sometimes I wonder if I'm even human...