Calling All Native Brooklynites!

I'm over here making moves, son. Either get on board or get the fuck out of the way. I'd rather you get on board, though.

Spread the word, mmkay?

*smooches...prepping myself for a busy winter*
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can't stop, won't stop

Currently Obsessed With...

...this song and video


...this TV show, because witches!


...this book; you think it's about baseball at first, but it's really abut life.

What's keeping you busy this summer?

*smooches...off to play more Kes*
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their music really is everything

In Case You're Looking For Me

A lot of you forget to check my site for appearances, and then pull the whole "you had a reading?" schpiel after the fact. Well here's a gentle reminder that I'm actively booking events where I host and/or read, and you need to be in the audience cheering me on.

How can you say no to that face?

That is all.

*smooches...gearing up for a busy season*
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it's about to be LOCO!

Where My Tuition Payments Went

ME: someone is trying to get me to watch "Fargo" on TV.

K: Isn't that about wolves? And the wilderness?

ME: No... there's a movie called Fargo with Steve Buscemi but it's not about wolves.

K: Yes! That book, it's a classic, about wolves!

ME (thinking really hard): You mean Call of the Wild?

K: YES! Is it written by someone named Fargo?

ME (googles): NO. It's by Jack London.

K: There's something with an "F" about wolves and the wilderness...

ME: You mean White Fang?

K: Possibly.

ME: How is that anywhere close to "Fargo"?

K: There's a book about wolves! I'm going to find it!

Lord Jesus, help this child of mine. Freshman year has clearly stolen her brain.

*smooches...realizing my kids are me all over again*
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can you think of anything scarier??

In Case Your Monday's Been Shitty

Feast your eyes on all this beauty:

L to r: Authors Blu Daniels, Rebeca Lucret, Theresa Varela,
Alicia Anabel Santos, and Raquel Penzo. (c) 2014 David Stewart

These smart, talented, GORGEOUS women participated in my Lit Crawl Brooklyn event, "When Brooklyn Was Brooklyn," and will be featured in the book next year. If you missed it you MISSED it, because it was one helluva show.

But at least I'm being kind enough to allow you to gawk at us. You're welcome.

*smooches...busy being a proud "momma"*
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for every four "eh" events there's one awesome, and that one makes all the others worth it!

If You Don't Mind...

i'm gonna bathe in this love you've left behind by the bed
i'm gonna use it to rinse my hair; maybe soak my tired feet
maybe soak my tired soul

i'm gonna carry it in a Tupperware in my purse
feast on it on my lunch break; maybe add some pepper
to taste

i'm gonna sit it next to me on the sofa and watch
our favorite movie with it; i'll pop some popcorn and we'll
eat and laugh and

if you don't mind

i'm not going to tell anyone i still love you

*smooches...offering this contribution to Throwback Thursdays*
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I don't even remember for whom I wrote this. I must not miss him anymore, whomever he was.

You're Invited.

Really hope you can make it!

*smooches...keeping busy*
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if I stop, I die.

I Fill This Void

with food.

So much food that it rises up into my esophagus
Teetering at the back of my throat
Threatening to spill out of my mouth

I fill that void
with sex.

Anonymous, no strings, fake names sex
Leaving in the dawn in a cab sex
Never call me again ever sex

I fill this void
with whiskey.

Shots lined up at the bar like chorus girls
Kicking their way down
Jazz hands scratching at my liver

I fill that void
with danger.

3AM alone on the platform
Taunting with my indifference, my apathy
Daring someone to come at me

I fill this void

with you.

*smooches...digging in the crates for Thursday*
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this bad poem totally describes my 30s. totally!

Another Friendly Reminder

Today is the release celebration of my reading series' anthology at La Casa Azul Bookstore in East Harlem.

I'd love it if you could all join me!

*smooches...still unsure of what to wear*
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nothing fits and this weather is booty. don't be shocked if I show up in pajamas.

Another Day, Another Published Book

Hey SUCKAS! Guess what I just got? THE PROOF TO MY READING SERIES' ANTHOLOGY!

And listen, it's not as hefty as I wanted it to be--people just weren't submitting stuff--I love it. The cover is so snazzy (thanks, Marcin!) and the stories and poems within were hand-picked by ME, so you know it's awesome!

I'm having a book release party on Tuesday, April 29, at La Casa Azul Bookstore in East Harlem.

You should be there for the following reasons:
1. I'm awesome and you love and support me and everything I do.
2. There will be wine.
3. Some truly talented people contributed to this book.
4. There will be cupcakes.
5. You're going to want to take a picture with me + my red-red lipsticked self.
6. There will be wine + cupcakes.
7. My autograph will be worth MILLIONS soon; get it now for free (with the purchase of a book).
8. You can get drunk + eat cupcakes for two hours.
9. My short, "Erasing Cedrick," will rock your socks off.
10. Alcohol + Sugar already RSVPd.

So, see you there?

*smooches...gearing up for bigger things*
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I'm like a shark; if I stop moving I die!

My Friends Bring Me Peace

Yesterday afternoon I actually left my house, put on a dress and a full face of makeup, took my hair out of their Celie braids, and celebrated the book release of my homie and Fake Dominican sister, Blu Daniels. Her novel, Misconceptions, has been a long time coming, went through a trillion revisions, crossed many agents' and editors' hands and is FINALLY in book form. I'm so proud of her hard work, diligence and determination, and we look so cute when we step away from the computer and clean up for photo ops:

BIG UP BROOKLYN!

I must admit, at the time of the party, I'd only read a few pages of the book. People, I have ZERO TIME for luxuries like reading, sleeping, breathing... but last night, after N went to bed I figured, eh, why not? Let me step away from the computer, put my Spotify on shuffle, and see what the hell this book was talkin' 'bout.

I fell asleep shortly after, but then I woke up at 3am (the lights & music were still on), went to pee and thought, eh, might as well keep reading.

This is how I live my life these days. As if sleep is this annoyance that isn't necessary in my life. Sometimes I swear I need a hot slap right across the jaw.

Anyways, sometime around 7am I had to stop reading to get N ready for school, but for about four straight hours I wasn't checking my email, FB or The Twitter; I wasn't watching natural hair videos or "Golden Girls" reruns on YouTube; I wasn't stuffing my face with non-Paleo bullshit. I was just propped up on pillows, under the covers, reading a book.

It was a beautiful thing.

Thanks, Blu, for that much-needed moment of zen (even if I did crash at 7:30 this morning and was very late for work).

*smooches...just for Blu and her new book*
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in other news, I look like someone's fat auntie in that pic. no more photos until I drop a dress size. that is all.

I Swear I Wrote This BEFORE I Saw "The Matrix"

Cover art where my baby dwells

As my part of my now-defunct thesis (let's just call a spade a spade- I don't give two shits about finishing that shit), I wrote a short-short, "On a Blue Day," about a girl and her penchant for uppers and downers who moves back home to attend a funeral. It was just a small experimental piece that was part of an assignment I had at FDU where I had to mimic the writing style of an author I can't remember right now.

But the gist of the assignment was repetition. There had to be an element of the story that kept repeating every few lines, if not every line. So there's a lot of mention of the red uppers and blue downers throughout the barely-two-thousand-word story.

On a deeper level, this story touches upon this girl's continuous habit of self-medication, which at the time was reflecting my own way of handling a crisis- that crisis, of course, being my grandmother's death, which was still painfully fresh in my mind in 2005.

Well this poor baby had been rejected from many a flash fiction contest. I would read it over and over and think What aren't people getting? This is a good fucking story! But alas, editors from here to LA didn't feel the same, until I met a young woman named Hannah Clayman who ran a zine for women in Brooklyn, You Should Be Here. She encouraged me to submit something and, with a few hours left until deadline, I sent off the story. I think she wrote me back the next day to say they "loved(!)" my story, and I was all FINALLY! SOMEONE GETS IT!

So now I can finally add another credit to my name: I've self-published a book on writing, I've been interviewed for a prominent Dominican news source online, and I've published two short stories--one online and one in print.

I say that deserves some fucking Shake Shack and Haagen Dazs this weekend!

*smooches...trying not to rest on my laurels*
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there's still so much I need to do, but I'm enjoying this journey so far.

We Will Always Share, Nuh Care How Meager The Meal

When I decided to become a writer, I knew that my life would not include traveling down the easy road. I knew that I would not be swimming in money. I knew that the arts is something you undertake for the sake of the arts. And I'm OK with all of that.

This life, however, can wear people out, especially for the unlucky ones who have to wonder where their next paycheck is coming from. And yes, it's PURE LUCK that a writing position opened in a marketing department at a non-profit I believe in and is very close to home so that my commute doesn't involve the annoying yuppies of Park Slope. So much luck was involved, especially because this job helps me grow as a writer AND allows me the freedom to still work on my personal projects on the side.

Around me, though, are those who haven't found that balance of a job that pays the bills and also nourishes them. I think this helps fuel me in my endeavors, though, because I know there are a slew of talented and amazing people that would be perfect additions to The Jaded Empire, now that I'm actively working toward making that dream a reality.

Please believe that those who've been down with me from jump have a home with me, and if not, I'm here to help you find your calling if you need me to. Because what fun will it be to live my dream if my homies are still mired in muck? No sir! As I lift myself up, I'm gonna work to keep y'all uplifted! I mean, y'all have to put in work, too, but this is war, son, and I don't leave anyone behind (unless, you know, it's PMS Week and you've pissed me off...).

Most importantly, get those positive vibes and energies flowing. Yesterday's mistakes are yesterday's mistakes. You wake up every day with the chance to make it right.



I hear the brighter side of life is just more fun and productive, you know?

*smooches...wishing you a life with no moss*
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now, go forth and prosper over the weekend!

I Read At Barnes & Noble Yesterday

There's really nothing else I want to tell you. If you missed it, you missed it.

How fitting... "The Natural"

But here's how cute I looked staring down at my "sheets of genius words" for dear life.

Yup, I'm a star...

...so I don't have to look at you

This time next year, y'all will be saying "I used to read this cute little blog that Raquel used to write...now she's too famous..."

*smooches...still on a high*
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I'm psyched, too, because these stories are really coming together beautifully!

Message!

"Shame is a shackle. Free yourself." -The Humans by Matt Haig

*smooches...thinking of living a shame-free life*
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also, there are too many books to read and never enough time to read them all. WHAT IS THIS LIFE?!

Get Filled With The Holy Ghost Of Writing, ME!

I told y'all I was booked up this weekend!

Fresh off the heels of a kick-ass appearance at Sycamore Stories in Ditmas Park, I'm ready to lead the congregation this Sunday at the Church of Monika in Park Slope, Brooklyn.

Photo (c) 2012 Marcin Kaliski

You know, there's something that happens to me when I finish speaking to a crowd, whether it be sharing a story or discussing my craft. It's like the buzz you get when you eat a slice of watermelon that's been sitting overnight in a tub of grain alcohol. You know the type of buzz that puts a smile on your face and everything your friends say is AWESOME, and everything the DJ plays is "MY JAM!" and your body moves in a way that makes you think you look like this:

but really, you look like this:

That's how good I feel after most, if not all, of my literary events.

I'm hoping this Sunday is equally satisfying, although it would be better if you all show up, too! And then you can take me to brunch.

*smooches...getting high off my own supply*
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I mean, it's here and so plentiful... why not?

Notes On A Random Wednesday

I just wanted to share a few tidbits with you about me and what I'm thinking right now, if you'll allow the indulgence. (Yeah right- love it or leave it, bitchezzz!)

1- Sometimes, when I'm alone in my apartment or the girls have gone to bed, I put on my favorite matte-ish maroon/burgundy lipstick and watch myself talk in the mirror. I am mesmerized at how great my lips look in this deep red hue. I like to see them forming words, smiling, yawning- the works. I practice cursing people out, flirting, reading out loud and giving speeches or being interviewed. Then I pose for close-up glamour shots.

2- I'm reading tonight at Sycamore Bar in Ditmas Park (1118 Cortelyou Road) and am considering wearing my favorite matte-ish maroon/burgundy lipstick, so that the audience can enjoy the visual as well as my five-minute presentation of greatness. Except I'm wondering if the space is poorly lit, which means people will barely be able to see my lips. And that would suck.

3- Tonight I want to read a reworked piece that was originally going to be my first novel, until I decided that novels are for losers and short stories is where it's at, son! It's the one where the young girl kills her stepmother. I had a daydream about it (that's how I write my stories sometimes, by daydreaming about them) and saw it working so beautifully as a short.

4- I also decided that tonight I'm going to flirt with white boys, and I wonder if my favorite matte-ish maroon/burgundy lipstick and story about an unapologetic and disillusion murderer will turn them off. Also, I wonder if five minutes into a flirting session I'll abandon my mission and seek out the large, black bouncer that I imagine works the door (because usually these hipster bars have a huge black bouncer working the door).

5- My allotted time on stage is sometime between 10 and 10:30, and I'm not sure how I feel about that, given the event starts at 7. It's a school night. And I'm still trying to catch up with "Grey's Anatomy" (currently holding steady at the beginning of Season 6; Izzy just left Karev and the Mercy West folks have infiltrated). That time slot also makes me a bit nervous because I already have enough trouble getting people to attend my events... and who the hell is going to stay FOUR HOURS to hear a bunch of unknowns read some bullshit stories (except mine; mine isn't bullshit, it's AWESOME.) and try to look cool?

Maybe I'll just wear some chapstick and keep to myself like I usually do. This all sounds exhausting and uneccessary.

*smooches...clearly not in the mood for a reading*
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when I sign up for these things they sound like good ideas until the day arrives and all I want is to go home and chill on my sofa.

What Are You Doing Wednesday NIght?

Your answer SHOULD be: "Coming to hear you read in Ditmas Park, Raquel!"

I go on at about 10PM. I understand that this is mighty late on a school night, but it would be so amazing to see some friendly faces in the crowd. I'm not sure what I'm reading just yet, but me and my new fabulously straight-from-the-Dominican-salon hair will be there, reading our little hearts out.

I mean, you'd be there if you loved me. Just saying.

*smooches...gearing up for my first appearance of 2013*
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these hipsters ain't ready for the Great And Powerful Jaded One!

Where I'll Be Next Week

Tonight I went to a very tough but very awesome Pilates (machine) class in Gramercy Park. WOOOOO let me tell you, those movements spoke to my body! They were all, "Yes, rotate from the hip! Feel the burn! We love you! We're strengthening your core! WE LOVE YOU! ISN'T THAT STRETCH AWESOME?! NOW HOLD IT FOR A SIX-COUNT!" Oh yes, I enjoyed it so much I will be back in two weeks.

I would have signed up for the Wednesday class next week, but I'll be busy sharing one of my fabulous stories with a captive audience at Sycamore Bar in Ditmas Park. And you should definitely come out to support me and buy me a seltzer water (with lime!) and tell me my hair is pretty.

I'm going to attempt to read something new. If I can write it this weekend. So you should absolutely grab a seat in the front row and throw your panties at me. See you there!

*smooches...starting the year off pretty well*
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I have more things in the works so stay tuned!

Twelve Books

I came across a reading challenge on Goodreads (feel free to look me up; my username is RPenzo), asking folks to set up a goal for the year of how much books we plan on devouring in 2013. When I went on the site I saw some people were aiming for as many as 200 books and I was all DON'T YOU HAVE A LIFE?!?! I love books as much as the next guy but come on- 200 books? That sounds to me like someone who needs a job and a variety of diverse hobbies.

I am more realistic about my time and attention span; I only aim to finish 12 books this year. Simply one book a month. I would like at least three of those to be in Spanish, so I can practice the language some more. But that's it.

Now, of course I have a trillion books borrowed from the library PLUS all the books I've bought in the last six months to choose from, but if you have any suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments. Right now I'm leaning towards Chango's Fire by Ernesto Quiñones (about an arsonist-for-hire in Spanish Harlem) or Fighting Castro: A Love Story by Kay Abella (Cuban doctor imprisoned by Castro as a resistance leader and the doctor's wife has to decide the fate of the rest of the family), but most likely I'll just start with Francisco Sanchez Jimenez's Estación Stockton (child I can't tell you what it's about because the back cover is so freakin' VAGUE!).

And don't look at me like that just because all the books on my list are by Latino authors. Shoooo, if I don't support my people, who will?

*smooches...hunkering down for the winter*
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It's so cold today; I hope I survive the season!