"And He Brought Myrrh"
*smooches...hoping you find your way this year*
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also, it's the feast of the epiphany, so behave yourself today, you know, in case there really is a god
Showing posts with label Religion-Schmeligion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Religion-Schmeligion. Show all posts
Sunday, January 06, 2013
Jaded Photograph: January 2013 Edition
*smooches...hoping you find your way this year*
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also, it's the feast of the epiphany, so behave yourself today, you know, in case there really is a god
Tuesday, October 02, 2012
Mari Speaks On...
...Mami and I telling stories about the "exorcism" she had as a baby:
"Y'all need to keep my demon possession out y'all's mouths!"
*smooches...still giggling to myself*
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and yes, all of this is true.
"Y'all need to keep my demon possession out y'all's mouths!"
*smooches...still giggling to myself*
---------
and yes, all of this is true.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Talk About White Privilege...
King James took that shit to the next level. His OWN version of the bible? The book supposedly written by god n shit? Really, James? Oh, okay.
And y'all swear by that version, too. I know you do. Isn't it the official version of most non-catholic Christian churches? Do y'all realize you're reading a version of the bible that some monarch decided to edit to suit his needs? Like a renegade, blasphemous copy writer? Correct me if I'm wrong...
But when this first occurred to me years ago I just had this vision of KJ sitting on his throne, all pensive-like and then
What? Oh, you don't think King James told people to suck it? I guarantee you he did. Besides- how are you going to prove me wrong?
That said, how do I go about editing the bible to reflect the TRUE story of Adam and Eve?
*smooches...getting an old thought off my chest*
---------
I've been sitting on that one for a while now.
And y'all swear by that version, too. I know you do. Isn't it the official version of most non-catholic Christian churches? Do y'all realize you're reading a version of the bible that some monarch decided to edit to suit his needs? Like a renegade, blasphemous copy writer? Correct me if I'm wrong...
But when this first occurred to me years ago I just had this vision of KJ sitting on his throne, all pensive-like and then
KJ: You know what? I'm gonna edit the bible. That's cool, right? I'm as good and important as god, right? Also, I need it to appeal to my subjects. Everyone else can suck it!
What? Oh, you don't think King James told people to suck it? I guarantee you he did. Besides- how are you going to prove me wrong?
That said, how do I go about editing the bible to reflect the TRUE story of Adam and Eve?
*smooches...getting an old thought off my chest*
---------
I've been sitting on that one for a while now.
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Dominican Heritage Month, Day 7
Every memory I have in Brooklyn or in Santo Domingo revolves around music. As a kid I had loads of instruments: Mami was hard-pressed to turn me into a Latin jazz artist but I had zero aptitude for the wind instruments and zero patience for the strings. The bongos and congas, however, I fell in love with from jump. And I didn't ever make a coherent danceable rhythm emit from the skin of my drums, but I enjoyed numbing my hands in an attempt to do so. Oh, our poor neighbors!
Even today, if the music is percussion-based I love it to bits and pieces. It's a spiritual awakening. I lose myself in the beats and rhythms. There's no real way to describe it except to say I understand the term out-of-body-experience after having grown up around Island music. It's in my blood, as is the worshiping of saints that many of the musical genres represent. Listen, you can't just take a people from their home and expect them to assimilate 100 percent. Life will always find a way to survive (as we learned in "Jurassic Park").
From the Wiki page on Music of the Dominican Republic:
(There's also good [although poorly written] information and videos on the Colonial Zone DR website.)
Besides the music, a lot of my life revolved around some sort of religious ritual. So I was Dominican and Catholic, but more, as I found out when I started kindergarten. None of the other kids at Our Lady of Bedford-Stuyvesant School (yes, that was its real name. Shut up.) had two sets of godparents, and they didn’t promote two baptisms in religion class, either. No one else had a tiny statue of Maria Lionza, brought to them all the way from Venezuela, whom my sister was supposedly named after many years after it came to my house, on the bookshelf with a fresh glass of holy water and fresh flowers every week in their house. They didn’t even know who she was.
I'm not saying we were santeros, but we did santeria-ish things. And the music tied it all in together in a nice neat bow.
Visit your local botanica and play a few songs by Carlito El Palero or some of the Fania All-Stars (I'll discuss them later this month) of the 70s and 80s, and it might give you a small taste of what it was like to have grown up like me.
Wonderful, beautiful, Dominican me.
*besos...lighting candles in a drum circle*
--------
ay, a little extra help never hurt anyone
Even today, if the music is percussion-based I love it to bits and pieces. It's a spiritual awakening. I lose myself in the beats and rhythms. There's no real way to describe it except to say I understand the term out-of-body-experience after having grown up around Island music. It's in my blood, as is the worshiping of saints that many of the musical genres represent. Listen, you can't just take a people from their home and expect them to assimilate 100 percent. Life will always find a way to survive (as we learned in "Jurassic Park").
From the Wiki page on Music of the Dominican Republic:
With roots in the Congo region of central-west Africa, palo shares much the same pantheon of deities/saints as the Afro-American religious traditions of Cuba, Brazil, Haiti and elsewhere in Latin America.
(There's also good [although poorly written] information and videos on the Colonial Zone DR website.)
Besides the music, a lot of my life revolved around some sort of religious ritual. So I was Dominican and Catholic, but more, as I found out when I started kindergarten. None of the other kids at Our Lady of Bedford-Stuyvesant School (yes, that was its real name. Shut up.) had two sets of godparents, and they didn’t promote two baptisms in religion class, either. No one else had a tiny statue of Maria Lionza, brought to them all the way from Venezuela, whom my sister was supposedly named after many years after it came to my house, on the bookshelf with a fresh glass of holy water and fresh flowers every week in their house. They didn’t even know who she was.
I'm not saying we were santeros, but we did santeria-ish things. And the music tied it all in together in a nice neat bow.
Visit your local botanica and play a few songs by Carlito El Palero or some of the Fania All-Stars (I'll discuss them later this month) of the 70s and 80s, and it might give you a small taste of what it was like to have grown up like me.
Wonderful, beautiful, Dominican me.
*besos...lighting candles in a drum circle*
--------
ay, a little extra help never hurt anyone
Friday, July 08, 2011
First Class Ticket To Hell...
Smarty P. Jones: ...And you need Jesus for those responses.
ME: I need Jesus for how I molested ________ yesterday hahahahahahaha!!
SPJ: As long as you know.
ME: I made a request and Mary was all, "Stop calling here for my son. You will NOT defile his good image with your debauchery" and hung up. Bitches, I swear...
SPJ: *falls to knees* Jesus, you know I just met her, right?
*smooches...finding new ways to damn my soul*
----------
ay, listen, I'm pretty sure your god has a sense of humor.
ME: I need Jesus for how I molested ________ yesterday hahahahahahaha!!
SPJ: As long as you know.
ME: I made a request and Mary was all, "Stop calling here for my son. You will NOT defile his good image with your debauchery" and hung up. Bitches, I swear...
SPJ: *falls to knees* Jesus, you know I just met her, right?
*smooches...finding new ways to damn my soul*
----------
ay, listen, I'm pretty sure your god has a sense of humor.
Friday, December 24, 2010
My Doodles Wanted To Say Something...
Happy Merry Fake Jesus' Birthday
To All My Lovely Readers!!
To All My Lovely Readers!!
*smooches...from one heathen to another*
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from all of us here at The Jaded Empire, have a safe & happy holiday season.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
And That's Why I Have No Faith...
Sign seen at someone's desk:
"Faith is not believing that God can, it's knowing that he will."
*smooches...giving this sign the thumbs down*
----------
also, I saw this in a government building...isn't that against the law or something? I'm gonna call the ACLU because I feel violated...
"Faith is not believing that God can, it's knowing that he will."
*smooches...giving this sign the thumbs down*
----------
also, I saw this in a government building...isn't that against the law or something? I'm gonna call the ACLU because I feel violated...
Thursday, September 30, 2010
The 5s Have My Soul In A Sling
Remember THIS POST when I shared some traits people who favor the number five have? Well I found some more, thanks to Smarty Jones (that heffa!), via some site that is supposed to help you determine your Life Path number.
I hardly ever care for this new age-y stuff... OK, that's a lie. I put a lot of stock in these 'other-realmy' things. Can't help it; it's a by-product of my Caribbean/maybe-Yoruba heritage.
So this Life Path number is determined by adding the numbers in your complete birthday:
5+23+1975=2003
and then adding the numbers in the answer:
2+0+0+3= FIVE, DAMMIT!
And here's where I almost fainted, because look at what it means to have a Life Path number of FIVE, DAMMIT!:
The Life Path 5 suggests that you entered this plane with a highly progressive mindset, with the attitude and skills to make the world a better place. The key word for your Life Path is freedom. In the pursuit of freedom, you are naturally versatile, adventurous, and advanced in your thinking. You are one of those people who is always striving to find answers to the many questions that life poses. The byword for the positive Life Path 5 is constant change and improvement. You want to be totally unrestrained, as this is the number most often associated with the productive use of freedom.
You may be one of the most compassionate of people as the 5 is surely the most freedom-loving and compassionate Life Path. Your love of freedom extends to humanity at large, and concern for your fellow man, his freedom and his welfare, may be foremost in your mind. A great Life Path 5 American President, Abraham Lincoln, issued the Emancipation Proclamation, and ended slavery in America. As the ultimate progressive thinker type, your potential in government, the law, and other positions of authority is unlimited.
You are a good communicator, and you know how to motivate people around you. This may be your strongest and most valuable trait. Because of this skill, and your amazing wit, you are a truly natural born salesman. This ability to sell and motivate extends to any sort of physical product all the way through to whatever ideas or concepts you may embrace.
You abhor routine and boring work, and you are not very good at staying with everyday tasks that must be finished on time. On the average, the number 5 personality is rather happy-go-lucky; living for today, and not worrying too much about tomorrow. It is also important for you to find a job that provides thought-provoking tasks rather than routine and redundant responsibilities. You do best dealing with people, but the important thing is that you have the flexibility to express yourself at all times. You have an innate ability to think through complex matters and analyze them quickly, but then be off to something new.
A love of adventure may dominate your life. This may take the form of mental or physical manifestation, but in either case, you thrill to the chance for exploration and blazing new trails. Surely you belong to a group considered the most worldly and traveled. Clearly you are not one to pass up a good venture. You have quite a lot of the risk-taker in your makeup. If you aren't putting your money at stake, you are surely open to a wide variety of risks in your everyday life. Taking the conservative approach is just not in your nature.
In romance, you hate to be tied down and restricted. This doesn't necessarily mean that you are unfaithful or promiscuous, but it does mean that a good partner for you needs to understand your nature. A relationship based on jealousy and having tight reigns is not going to work at all for you. A partner who understands your need to be free and trusted will find you trustworthy, even if you aren't constantly available and totally dutiful. It is important for you to mix with people of a like mind, and to try to avoid those that are too serious and demanding.
If you are living on the negative side of the Life Path 5, you are apt to be multi talented, but suffering from some lack of direction, and there is confusion surrounding your ambition. Restless, discontent, and impulsive, you may bounce from one job to the next without accomplishing much at all. A negative Life Path 5 can become very irresponsible in tasks and decisions concerning the home and business life. The total pursuit of sensation and adventure can result in your becoming self-indulgent and totally unaware of the feelings of those around you.
*closes up shop and logs off life*
I don't like when the cosmos plays with my destiny...
*smooches...paying too-close attention to every minute detail of my life*
-----------
and PS- I don't care for this mirror that's being held up to my face... SMARTY! HMPH!
I hardly ever care for this new age-y stuff... OK, that's a lie. I put a lot of stock in these 'other-realmy' things. Can't help it; it's a by-product of my Caribbean/maybe-Yoruba heritage.
So this Life Path number is determined by adding the numbers in your complete birthday:
5+23+1975=2003
and then adding the numbers in the answer:
2+0+0+3= FIVE, DAMMIT!
And here's where I almost fainted, because look at what it means to have a Life Path number of FIVE, DAMMIT!:
The Life Path 5 suggests that you entered this plane with a highly progressive mindset, with the attitude and skills to make the world a better place. The key word for your Life Path is freedom. In the pursuit of freedom, you are naturally versatile, adventurous, and advanced in your thinking. You are one of those people who is always striving to find answers to the many questions that life poses. The byword for the positive Life Path 5 is constant change and improvement. You want to be totally unrestrained, as this is the number most often associated with the productive use of freedom.
You may be one of the most compassionate of people as the 5 is surely the most freedom-loving and compassionate Life Path. Your love of freedom extends to humanity at large, and concern for your fellow man, his freedom and his welfare, may be foremost in your mind. A great Life Path 5 American President, Abraham Lincoln, issued the Emancipation Proclamation, and ended slavery in America. As the ultimate progressive thinker type, your potential in government, the law, and other positions of authority is unlimited.
You are a good communicator, and you know how to motivate people around you. This may be your strongest and most valuable trait. Because of this skill, and your amazing wit, you are a truly natural born salesman. This ability to sell and motivate extends to any sort of physical product all the way through to whatever ideas or concepts you may embrace.
You abhor routine and boring work, and you are not very good at staying with everyday tasks that must be finished on time. On the average, the number 5 personality is rather happy-go-lucky; living for today, and not worrying too much about tomorrow. It is also important for you to find a job that provides thought-provoking tasks rather than routine and redundant responsibilities. You do best dealing with people, but the important thing is that you have the flexibility to express yourself at all times. You have an innate ability to think through complex matters and analyze them quickly, but then be off to something new.
A love of adventure may dominate your life. This may take the form of mental or physical manifestation, but in either case, you thrill to the chance for exploration and blazing new trails. Surely you belong to a group considered the most worldly and traveled. Clearly you are not one to pass up a good venture. You have quite a lot of the risk-taker in your makeup. If you aren't putting your money at stake, you are surely open to a wide variety of risks in your everyday life. Taking the conservative approach is just not in your nature.
In romance, you hate to be tied down and restricted. This doesn't necessarily mean that you are unfaithful or promiscuous, but it does mean that a good partner for you needs to understand your nature. A relationship based on jealousy and having tight reigns is not going to work at all for you. A partner who understands your need to be free and trusted will find you trustworthy, even if you aren't constantly available and totally dutiful. It is important for you to mix with people of a like mind, and to try to avoid those that are too serious and demanding.
If you are living on the negative side of the Life Path 5, you are apt to be multi talented, but suffering from some lack of direction, and there is confusion surrounding your ambition. Restless, discontent, and impulsive, you may bounce from one job to the next without accomplishing much at all. A negative Life Path 5 can become very irresponsible in tasks and decisions concerning the home and business life. The total pursuit of sensation and adventure can result in your becoming self-indulgent and totally unaware of the feelings of those around you.
*closes up shop and logs off life*
I don't like when the cosmos plays with my destiny...
*smooches...paying too-close attention to every minute detail of my life*
-----------
and PS- I don't care for this mirror that's being held up to my face... SMARTY! HMPH!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
When All Else Fails
This has been an incredibly crazy/busy/exciting/tiring/[insert more adjectives that mean I had too much on my plate here] week for me. After a while without any real work to do I get slammed with THREE different clients handing me SIX different assignments. I'm forced to work around the clock, work on-site, wear real clothes, brush my hair- you name it.
This, of course, does not include all the things I do that aren't for money: spending time w/my kids, keeping house, maintaining this (and other) sites, personal writing projects, writing workshops and oh yeah, sleep.
Well I'm not used to any of it. It's stressing me out. I'm eating as a result of anxiety instead of hunger. Subsequently, my pants are getting snug again. *sigh* I need a clone.
And I don't mean to complain about any of the good fortune that has fallen on my lap in the last couple of weeks, but it's all happening at once and I wasn't ready for it. I feel like I brought a knife to a gun fight!*
Now we all know I don't put too much stock in religion or the Catholic Church or any of that hubbub, but the one thing I kept from my childhood for when there's TOO MUCH going on that I cannot escape is this:
Although I have to say- I could care less about Serenity and I PISS on courage... all I really want it that damn WISDOM! "Should I go for the job in PA?" "Does he really like me or is this a fling?" "Am I doing the right thing for my girls?" "Is it really a terrible thing to subsist on a diet of Buffalo wings and oatmeal raisin cookies?"
Anyone got any WISDOM lying around for me? My brain & body are tired and I don't feel like thinking for myself...
*smooches...wishing there were someone else to do what I need to do*
----------
or someone else to help. Oh fuck it- someone to take care of me... THERE! I said it! I WANT SOMEONE TO COME AND TAKE CARE OF ME!!! *sobs all over your keyboard*
*also, if you can tell me what movie I stole that phrase from, I'll send you a FREE Jaded Tshirt
This, of course, does not include all the things I do that aren't for money: spending time w/my kids, keeping house, maintaining this (and other) sites, personal writing projects, writing workshops and oh yeah, sleep.
Well I'm not used to any of it. It's stressing me out. I'm eating as a result of anxiety instead of hunger. Subsequently, my pants are getting snug again. *sigh* I need a clone.
And I don't mean to complain about any of the good fortune that has fallen on my lap in the last couple of weeks, but it's all happening at once and I wasn't ready for it. I feel like I brought a knife to a gun fight!*
Now we all know I don't put too much stock in religion or the Catholic Church or any of that hubbub, but the one thing I kept from my childhood for when there's TOO MUCH going on that I cannot escape is this:
Although I have to say- I could care less about Serenity and I PISS on courage... all I really want it that damn WISDOM! "Should I go for the job in PA?" "Does he really like me or is this a fling?" "Am I doing the right thing for my girls?" "Is it really a terrible thing to subsist on a diet of Buffalo wings and oatmeal raisin cookies?"
Anyone got any WISDOM lying around for me? My brain & body are tired and I don't feel like thinking for myself...
*smooches...wishing there were someone else to do what I need to do*
----------
or someone else to help. Oh fuck it- someone to take care of me... THERE! I said it! I WANT SOMEONE TO COME AND TAKE CARE OF ME!!! *sobs all over your keyboard*
*also, if you can tell me what movie I stole that phrase from, I'll send you a FREE Jaded Tshirt
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
When Advertising Pisses Me Off
I haven't had a decent rant in a long time. For the most part I try not to make my blood pressure rise to unimaginable levels but you know what? Sometimes people be TESTING me.
Like the geniuses behind THIS ad.
NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. Abortion is going to change you. It's going to make you not be pregnant anymore. DUH-MOTHERFUCKING-UH! This upset me for two reasons. One, it's assuming that women are stupidly opting for surgical solutions to pregnancy all willy-nilly. This advertisement is allowing a few harlots make the rest of us who make INFORMED decisions seem careless and mindless.
And two because they're making it seem like your whole world will implode and melt away into the sewer after you have an abortion. As if afterward you will find yourself wondering aimlessly through the world, feeling like something is missing until you realize... *cue violins* "I had an abortion. And it changed me!"
*side eye*
UGH... the propaganda I have to deal with on an otherwise yuppie-free train ride...
Listen, I'm not trying to make light of the situation. Deciding to get an abortion is real serious shit for sure. And maybe a handful of women fall apart after the procedure. But this ad just makes my skin crawls; there has to be a better non-retarded way to offer pregnancy counseling.
This shit right here? It SCREAMS of the Religious Right inching their way into my uterus and lookie here- I already got some damn fibroids and scar tissue residing in there- ain't no room for no more motherfuckers.
Especially religious ones.
*smooches...missing the days of Dr. Zizmor ads on the subway*
----------
remember him, the skin guy? is he still around? I could stand to see him for a quick consultation...
Like the geniuses behind THIS ad.
NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. Abortion is going to change you. It's going to make you not be pregnant anymore. DUH-MOTHERFUCKING-UH! This upset me for two reasons. One, it's assuming that women are stupidly opting for surgical solutions to pregnancy all willy-nilly. This advertisement is allowing a few harlots make the rest of us who make INFORMED decisions seem careless and mindless.
And two because they're making it seem like your whole world will implode and melt away into the sewer after you have an abortion. As if afterward you will find yourself wondering aimlessly through the world, feeling like something is missing until you realize... *cue violins* "I had an abortion. And it changed me!"
*side eye*
UGH... the propaganda I have to deal with on an otherwise yuppie-free train ride...
Listen, I'm not trying to make light of the situation. Deciding to get an abortion is real serious shit for sure. And maybe a handful of women fall apart after the procedure. But this ad just makes my skin crawls; there has to be a better non-retarded way to offer pregnancy counseling.
This shit right here? It SCREAMS of the Religious Right inching their way into my uterus and lookie here- I already got some damn fibroids and scar tissue residing in there- ain't no room for no more motherfuckers.
Especially religious ones.
*smooches...missing the days of Dr. Zizmor ads on the subway*
----------
remember him, the skin guy? is he still around? I could stand to see him for a quick consultation...
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
"...I'm Drunk In My Desire..."
I'm not moving fast enough on building this Media Empire. I know, I know: slow and steady wins the race, but I'm anxious and restless and tired of the struggle. How can there only be one of me? Why is there only one of me? I have so many things on deck: stories, novels, movie and TV scripts, radio segments, magazines, merchandise... the list goes on and on, and still- only ONE of me.
And can we please address how all of this is yielding me ZERO dollars? Right. My babies can't eat positive feedback, and National Grid ain't trying to get paid via blog comments (I know because I tried...the customer service rep was not amused.). But I want this so bad I can TASTE it. Where is my clone? WHERE?
*deep breath*
That said, on the weekend of February 19th, the next literary reading for La Pluma y La Tinta's New Voices Reading Series will take place, and in honor of Black History Month (which is also OUR history so don't bother turning up your lip at me!), the theme we've selected, which you can interpret in any way, shape or form, is:
If you're interested in participating and have a poem or work of fiction/creative non-fiction you'd like to read, please submit it to: laplumaylatinta@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name and a way for me to contact you, and PLEASE- all attachments need to be MSWord documents or PDFs. Anything else will be discarded.
We've yet to secure a location and pick a final date, but it will be in the Brooklyn or Lower Manhattan area for sure. There are only four spots available so get your submission in early!
*deep breath*
OK so even though it's hard work and I'm struggling to death over here, I suppose there's nothing else I'd rather be doing, no other place I'd rather be living in...I have no choice but to work this life to death...
Someone PLEASE reassure me that the rewards will be sweet and here on earth, not in some mythical heaven?
*smooches...waiting impatiently for the big payoff*
----------
I think maybe what I need is an intern since The Man won't let me have a clone n shit; where can I get one of those? I pay in food and John Cusack movie marathons.
And can we please address how all of this is yielding me ZERO dollars? Right. My babies can't eat positive feedback, and National Grid ain't trying to get paid via blog comments (I know because I tried...the customer service rep was not amused.). But I want this so bad I can TASTE it. Where is my clone? WHERE?
*deep breath*
That said, on the weekend of February 19th, the next literary reading for La Pluma y La Tinta's New Voices Reading Series will take place, and in honor of Black History Month (which is also OUR history so don't bother turning up your lip at me!), the theme we've selected, which you can interpret in any way, shape or form, is:
The Life, The Struggle, The Experience.
If you're interested in participating and have a poem or work of fiction/creative non-fiction you'd like to read, please submit it to: laplumaylatinta@gmail.com. Be sure to include your name and a way for me to contact you, and PLEASE- all attachments need to be MSWord documents or PDFs. Anything else will be discarded.
We've yet to secure a location and pick a final date, but it will be in the Brooklyn or Lower Manhattan area for sure. There are only four spots available so get your submission in early!
*deep breath*
OK so even though it's hard work and I'm struggling to death over here, I suppose there's nothing else I'd rather be doing, no other place I'd rather be living in...I have no choice but to work this life to death...
Someone PLEASE reassure me that the rewards will be sweet and here on earth, not in some mythical heaven?
*smooches...waiting impatiently for the big payoff*
----------
I think maybe what I need is an intern since The Man won't let me have a clone n shit; where can I get one of those? I pay in food and John Cusack movie marathons.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Just So That Pat Is Clear On The Facts...
THIS:
is not what a deal with the devil looks like.
THIS IS:
*smooches...wondering what Depp's terms are in his contract*
----------
seriously- dude does not age. I'm concerned. And just a tad jealous.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Reason #67,229 Why I'm Going To Hell...
SMARTY P. JONES: Did you really just ask for "Bejeweled Balls" for the Pope?
ME: I'm not sure what you mean... *puts on halo*
SPJ: Of course you're not. You'll be sure Hell is hot when you get there for making fun of the Holy One and stealing that halo!
ME: This halo was given to me by Lou(cifer) himself...it's his old one. I dusted it off. You like?
SPJ: Oh. THAT'S why it blinks?! I thought it was holiday decor. *shrugs*
ME: It's not blinking. It's WINKING.
SPJ: *dead*
*smooches...strutting all over blogger w/my winking halo*
----------
I know y'all are jealous because you want one, too. Oh well...too bad, so sad... it's allllllllllll mine!
ME: I'm not sure what you mean... *puts on halo*
SPJ: Of course you're not. You'll be sure Hell is hot when you get there for making fun of the Holy One and stealing that halo!
ME: This halo was given to me by Lou(cifer) himself...it's his old one. I dusted it off. You like?
SPJ: Oh. THAT'S why it blinks?! I thought it was holiday decor. *shrugs*
ME: It's not blinking. It's WINKING.
SPJ: *dead*
*smooches...strutting all over blogger w/my winking halo*
----------
I know y'all are jealous because you want one, too. Oh well...too bad, so sad... it's allllllllllll mine!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Eve Was FRAMED!! (A Letter To The Catholic Church)
Dear Pope Benedict XVI:
I'm writing to you today in the hopes that you will finally help me in putting to bed the whole myth of Eve being the fall of man. Pope John Paul would not heed my letters during his reign, er, service to the Church, but you seem like a reasonable man.
Here's the issue- for as long as I can remember, I was told that Eve, the first woman made of Adam's rib, fell prey to the serpent's trickery, ate of the forbidden tree of knowledge, and then offered Adam some, too.If I recall the story correctly, when God approached the pair, it was Adam who was quick to drop dime and be all "Eve did it," correct? That's the malarkey y'all have been passing down from generation to generation, right? Right.
Well I'm tired of it, and I'd like you to set the record straight.
Please let the people know that it was actually Adam who first tasted the fruit of the tree, that is was Adam trying to exert his bravado and superiority over the serpent that caused the rift between God and man, and that Eve, being the ever loyal and dutiful Ride Or Die bitch was asked to take the fall.
I'd like all Christians to hear from your wrinkled, lyin ass homophobic lips that all Eve did was support her man as she was asked to do by God. She was obedient and true, and when Adam approached her and just BOLD FACED LIED about where he got that fruit from, she believed him. Eve had no reason to doubt that shady ass motherfucker and, God help us, from the apple she did bite. Then, as she wept, Adam had the audacity to be all, "Baby listen, if God asks, it was you who ate first. He'll be easy on you because you're the woman."
And poor, gullible Eve, madly in love with Adam as she was, agreed. So when God approached them about the fruit, she let Adam blame it on her. You know it's the truth. You KNOW it.
Considering that Adam fucked women over, because we both know God was a lot harder on us (um, hello, CHILDBIRTH) than he was on his golden boy, Adam, the very least you can do is exonerate us, finally, and let the truth be known.
If I have to hear one more clueless asshole blame Eve for the state of the human world, honestly, I can't be held responsible for my actions. Do you really want that blood on your hands? Do you Benny? Do you? Because you know, blood no longer bothers me. I've been dealing with it since 1986.
Do the right thing here, and nobody has to get hurt.
Sincerely,
Jaded
*smooches...figuring, I'm already going to hell..."
----------
...might as well have a fun flight, no??
I'm writing to you today in the hopes that you will finally help me in putting to bed the whole myth of Eve being the fall of man. Pope John Paul would not heed my letters during his reign, er, service to the Church, but you seem like a reasonable man.
Here's the issue- for as long as I can remember, I was told that Eve, the first woman made of Adam's rib, fell prey to the serpent's trickery, ate of the forbidden tree of knowledge, and then offered Adam some, too.If I recall the story correctly, when God approached the pair, it was Adam who was quick to drop dime and be all "Eve did it," correct? That's the malarkey y'all have been passing down from generation to generation, right? Right.
Well I'm tired of it, and I'd like you to set the record straight.
Please let the people know that it was actually Adam who first tasted the fruit of the tree, that is was Adam trying to exert his bravado and superiority over the serpent that caused the rift between God and man, and that Eve, being the ever loyal and dutiful Ride Or Die bitch was asked to take the fall.
I'd like all Christians to hear from your wrinkled, lyin ass homophobic lips that all Eve did was support her man as she was asked to do by God. She was obedient and true, and when Adam approached her and just BOLD FACED LIED about where he got that fruit from, she believed him. Eve had no reason to doubt that shady ass motherfucker and, God help us, from the apple she did bite. Then, as she wept, Adam had the audacity to be all, "Baby listen, if God asks, it was you who ate first. He'll be easy on you because you're the woman."
And poor, gullible Eve, madly in love with Adam as she was, agreed. So when God approached them about the fruit, she let Adam blame it on her. You know it's the truth. You KNOW it.
Considering that Adam fucked women over, because we both know God was a lot harder on us (um, hello, CHILDBIRTH) than he was on his golden boy, Adam, the very least you can do is exonerate us, finally, and let the truth be known.
If I have to hear one more clueless asshole blame Eve for the state of the human world, honestly, I can't be held responsible for my actions. Do you really want that blood on your hands? Do you Benny? Do you? Because you know, blood no longer bothers me. I've been dealing with it since 1986.
Do the right thing here, and nobody has to get hurt.
Sincerely,
Jaded
*smooches...figuring, I'm already going to hell..."
----------
...might as well have a fun flight, no??
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Truths About Me
As if I don't already bare the contents of my soul for you every week, I decided on this post after seeing it as a trending topic by a twitter friend (@BKPhever). I wasn't in the mood to participate at the time, but when I woke up the next day it popped back into my head.
And you know I have no choice sometimes but to oblige The Voices. Those bitches know how to get their way one way or another...
So here it is- a few truths about me to file away in your mental Rolodex and use during your testimony in my competency hearing:
1- I talk to myself. A lot. And not just little conversations with myself on things I need to get done like normal people, but actually speaking to invisible people, having full on conversations, cracking jokes and the whole nine. I've done this since I was a little girl; Minnie can vouch for me.
2- TMI ALERT: After jungle-tastic activities, I'm usually the one who falls asleep. I know that distinction usually goes to the fellas, but this Jaded heifer right here? She's out for the count afterward. So... if you want me to shut the hell up so you can watch the game or play Madden Football? You know what to do...
3- I have a knack for the Romance languages, even now as an adult. I started out speaking Spanish, then studied Italian in school. When we lived in Elizabeth, NJ I started to pick up Portuguese, and in a pinch I can decipher French even though I've never studied it. It's loads of fun to experience the way my brain has to work in order to translate words.
4- Besides the millions of reasons there are to give The Vatican the side eye, I decided to leave the church because of two things: their treatment of me & K after I had her and their stance on homosexuality. I could not see myself belonging to a group that looked down on me for choosing to be an unwed mother NOR could I support an organization that made homosexuals feel like lower-class citizens.
5- I always talk about looking for a sexy, dreadlock rasta who stands at 6'4" and has the smoothest dark skin and swoon-worthy accent but honestly- I really look for someone who's company I enjoy. Someone who makes me laugh, who has a brain, who commands respect and has a kind spirit. Sometimes that means the guy is my height and light-skinned. Sometimes that means he's Indian. And who knows, one day it might mean he'll be *GASP* white. I mean of course physical attraction is always what will grab my attention first, but looks only keep mattering in fantasies; I need a more complete package in real life for the long run.
What are some truths about you?
*smooches...wondering why I tell you so much about me*
----------
just promise me one thing- if I'm ever institutionalized, you'll come visit me at least once a month...
And you know I have no choice sometimes but to oblige The Voices. Those bitches know how to get their way one way or another...
So here it is- a few truths about me to file away in your mental Rolodex and use during your testimony in my competency hearing:
1- I talk to myself. A lot. And not just little conversations with myself on things I need to get done like normal people, but actually speaking to invisible people, having full on conversations, cracking jokes and the whole nine. I've done this since I was a little girl; Minnie can vouch for me.
2- TMI ALERT: After jungle-tastic activities, I'm usually the one who falls asleep. I know that distinction usually goes to the fellas, but this Jaded heifer right here? She's out for the count afterward. So... if you want me to shut the hell up so you can watch the game or play Madden Football? You know what to do...
3- I have a knack for the Romance languages, even now as an adult. I started out speaking Spanish, then studied Italian in school. When we lived in Elizabeth, NJ I started to pick up Portuguese, and in a pinch I can decipher French even though I've never studied it. It's loads of fun to experience the way my brain has to work in order to translate words.
4- Besides the millions of reasons there are to give The Vatican the side eye, I decided to leave the church because of two things: their treatment of me & K after I had her and their stance on homosexuality. I could not see myself belonging to a group that looked down on me for choosing to be an unwed mother NOR could I support an organization that made homosexuals feel like lower-class citizens.
5- I always talk about looking for a sexy, dreadlock rasta who stands at 6'4" and has the smoothest dark skin and swoon-worthy accent but honestly- I really look for someone who's company I enjoy. Someone who makes me laugh, who has a brain, who commands respect and has a kind spirit. Sometimes that means the guy is my height and light-skinned. Sometimes that means he's Indian. And who knows, one day it might mean he'll be *GASP* white. I mean of course physical attraction is always what will grab my attention first, but looks only keep mattering in fantasies; I need a more complete package in real life for the long run.
What are some truths about you?
*smooches...wondering why I tell you so much about me*
----------
just promise me one thing- if I'm ever institutionalized, you'll come visit me at least once a month...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Mini-Heathen
During a short warning/conversation I had with the babies prior to visiting Eb the Celeb's church earlier this month:
ME: And tomorrow in church limit yourself to one eye roll
N: What? But it's a Black church! How can you only roll your eyes once?
*smooches...never surprised by what comes out of that child's mouth
----------
cameras really need to follow her around all day everyday!
ME: And tomorrow in church limit yourself to one eye roll
N: What? But it's a Black church! How can you only roll your eyes once?
*smooches...never surprised by what comes out of that child's mouth
----------
cameras really need to follow her around all day everyday!
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Eyes Wide Open, Pt. 3: The Four Obstacles
(This should be the last of it. I think. We'll see how it goes... basically I read a good book & heard a good message at church & began to REALLY re-evaluate my life, for real this time.)
For those who never read The Alchemist (or did and found it BLAH), you're probably wondering what about it touched me so deeply? Well, it really spoke to me from the introduction. And I never read the introductions in a book- I find them pretentious and unnecessary. But for some reason I read this one. And right from there I KNEW this book was for me.
Coelho spoke of four things that keep people from following their dreams, all of which I fall prey to:
1- We are told from childhood that our dreams are impossible (CHECK)
2- Love for others keeps us from following our dreams because we don't want to hurt those we love (CHECK)
3- Fear of the defeats waiting for us during this dream journey (CHECK)
4- Fear of realizing our dreams (CHECK)
I was four for four and convinced that this book was written for me and me alone. And that's why I read it and that's why I've been in this euphoria ever since I finished the last line of the novel.
So here I am, face to face with these four obstacles and a list of things I want to do in my lifetime and I'm struggling to make sense of it all. Like, how do I hush The Voice that sounds a lot like my mom putting me down? How do I stop caring about what others think of me? How do I battle fear of success and the unknown? How do I FINALLY quit letting things happen to me and MAKE things happen for me?
This is what I've been thinking about since Saturday.
One thing I hate about all this introspection? There's no quick fix or easy answers and above all else I need to do and learn, having more patience is at #1. "Slow and steady wins the race" right? RIGHT?
And I feel like I have armed myself with some good information, some well-placed angels and motivators and a will to succeed that has long been dormant and is slowly rubbing the sleep from its eyes. I can see this path that I want to take (I got that lil tidbit from The Wizards of Waverly Place Movie... don't judge me- it was chock full of messages that mirrored The Alchemist's message, too. I'm telling you... "there are signs everywhere" [that line I got from Fools Rush In LOL]) and the steps necessary to get there.
It is a long, arduous road with many, many steps that may very well take years. However I can not afford to be afraid to commit to it, to trust myself and what it is I want. I need to get a hold of some Patience In A Bottle. STAT.
Only thing now is to actually define what it is I want. I mean really, really want.
(It might be time to put aside that one dream of having Buffy, The Vampire Slayer back on the air, seeing as the series finale of Angel pretty much destroyed any chance of that. But I won't, however, give up on that dream of having magical, supernatural powers. I won't. I know they're in there somewhere. I just KNOW it. I'm gonna keep that on my list.)
*smooches...kinda scared to move forward, but more scared not to*
----------
in the meantime, can someone please come over here and clean my apartment? I think I'd be able to think more clearly and find my Personal Treasure if my apartment were clean...
For those who never read The Alchemist (or did and found it BLAH), you're probably wondering what about it touched me so deeply? Well, it really spoke to me from the introduction. And I never read the introductions in a book- I find them pretentious and unnecessary. But for some reason I read this one. And right from there I KNEW this book was for me.
Coelho spoke of four things that keep people from following their dreams, all of which I fall prey to:
1- We are told from childhood that our dreams are impossible (CHECK)
2- Love for others keeps us from following our dreams because we don't want to hurt those we love (CHECK)
3- Fear of the defeats waiting for us during this dream journey (CHECK)
4- Fear of realizing our dreams (CHECK)
I was four for four and convinced that this book was written for me and me alone. And that's why I read it and that's why I've been in this euphoria ever since I finished the last line of the novel.
So here I am, face to face with these four obstacles and a list of things I want to do in my lifetime and I'm struggling to make sense of it all. Like, how do I hush The Voice that sounds a lot like my mom putting me down? How do I stop caring about what others think of me? How do I battle fear of success and the unknown? How do I FINALLY quit letting things happen to me and MAKE things happen for me?
This is what I've been thinking about since Saturday.
One thing I hate about all this introspection? There's no quick fix or easy answers and above all else I need to do and learn, having more patience is at #1. "Slow and steady wins the race" right? RIGHT?
And I feel like I have armed myself with some good information, some well-placed angels and motivators and a will to succeed that has long been dormant and is slowly rubbing the sleep from its eyes. I can see this path that I want to take (I got that lil tidbit from The Wizards of Waverly Place Movie... don't judge me- it was chock full of messages that mirrored The Alchemist's message, too. I'm telling you... "there are signs everywhere" [that line I got from Fools Rush In LOL]) and the steps necessary to get there.
It is a long, arduous road with many, many steps that may very well take years. However I can not afford to be afraid to commit to it, to trust myself and what it is I want. I need to get a hold of some Patience In A Bottle. STAT.
Only thing now is to actually define what it is I want. I mean really, really want.
(It might be time to put aside that one dream of having Buffy, The Vampire Slayer back on the air, seeing as the series finale of Angel pretty much destroyed any chance of that. But I won't, however, give up on that dream of having magical, supernatural powers. I won't. I know they're in there somewhere. I just KNOW it. I'm gonna keep that on my list.)
*smooches...kinda scared to move forward, but more scared not to*
----------
in the meantime, can someone please come over here and clean my apartment? I think I'd be able to think more clearly and find my Personal Treasure if my apartment were clean...
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Eyes Wide Open, Pt. 2: They Weren't Checking For Me
(When we last saw The Jaded NYer, she'd just finished reading The Alchemist and had attended church on a Sunday, and it made her realize some shit. Now you're all caught up. Read on.)
I picked up The Alchemist expecting only to be entertained. Actually, no I didn't because the last Coelho book I read, Veronika Decides to Die, was a big disappointment to me. I hated it.
I read the book during my MFA program and when I wrote an annotation on it saying everything that was wrong with the story my mentor, the very talented & insightful writer Thomas E. Kennedy, wrote back: Maybe you didn't get what he was doing? That was an omen that I didn't listen to. But all in due time, right?
Clearly back then I wasn't ready to read a book about a woman who attempts suicide and instead wakes up in a hospital and there discovers a reason to live. But after this summer, after facing those very same feelings of nothingness, I'm thinking I owe it to myself to read this book again with a fresh pair of eyes. I still may not like it but I have to try.
But anyway, I expected not to get anything important out of The Alchemist and OHHHH was I wrong. This book honestly gave me a glimmer of hope towards something to believe in, some real-life faith and shit.
And by faith I don't mean some Judeo-Christian, patriarchal, dogma-laced BS institutionalized faith. I mean the kind of faith that was promised to me at Our Lady of Bedford Stuyvesant (yo- I'm not joking about that name... my school was truly called that BEFORE they switched the name to St. John the Baptist!) all those years ago but never delivered. Faith in a purpose for my life, faith in the goodness in people, faith in the power & realness of love and most importantly, faith in myself and my destiny.
I watched The Wizards of Waverly Place movie with my kids (a movie that SURPRISINGLY also dealt with following your destiny... ugh, these signs are trying to kill me!) and in it the siblings need to find this "stone of dreams" via this treasure map. Well this faith I seek is my stone of dreams. I long for something to believe in, some guidance, more than I want my novel on the New York Times bestseller list. And this book + the message I heard at church on Sunday is like my treasure map. I still don't have the code cracked, but I have the map. Isn't that the first step?
So The Voices are all abuzz with these things now and I know that Coelho and this random Harlem preacher were placed in my life at this time to help me realize some important things.
I do let my fear of what others think of me stop me from being me and doing what I know will make me happy. I do base my standards on others' standards. And I do ignore that little voice inside of me that warns me about and pushes me towards certain paths. I am not really working towards what I want because of fear. And I don't believe in myself enough to make things better for myself.
A lot of what fueled my breakdown this summer had to do with "other people" that I made a bigger part of my life than they deserved to be. They weren't checking for me but I behaved as if I needed them in my life. Meanwhile the people that I did need in my life were being pushed aside and neglected. I've always tried to be liked, or tried to make others happy even in spite of myself. I see now that I took it too far and it became a problem.
-- to be continued --
*smooches...looking for a spell to rid me of fear*
----------
I really want you to not judge me for watching The Wizards of Waverly Place; it's a really good show. Really. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!
I picked up The Alchemist expecting only to be entertained. Actually, no I didn't because the last Coelho book I read, Veronika Decides to Die, was a big disappointment to me. I hated it.
I read the book during my MFA program and when I wrote an annotation on it saying everything that was wrong with the story my mentor, the very talented & insightful writer Thomas E. Kennedy, wrote back: Maybe you didn't get what he was doing? That was an omen that I didn't listen to. But all in due time, right?
Clearly back then I wasn't ready to read a book about a woman who attempts suicide and instead wakes up in a hospital and there discovers a reason to live. But after this summer, after facing those very same feelings of nothingness, I'm thinking I owe it to myself to read this book again with a fresh pair of eyes. I still may not like it but I have to try.
But anyway, I expected not to get anything important out of The Alchemist and OHHHH was I wrong. This book honestly gave me a glimmer of hope towards something to believe in, some real-life faith and shit.
And by faith I don't mean some Judeo-Christian, patriarchal, dogma-laced BS institutionalized faith. I mean the kind of faith that was promised to me at Our Lady of Bedford Stuyvesant (yo- I'm not joking about that name... my school was truly called that BEFORE they switched the name to St. John the Baptist!) all those years ago but never delivered. Faith in a purpose for my life, faith in the goodness in people, faith in the power & realness of love and most importantly, faith in myself and my destiny.
I watched The Wizards of Waverly Place movie with my kids (a movie that SURPRISINGLY also dealt with following your destiny... ugh, these signs are trying to kill me!) and in it the siblings need to find this "stone of dreams" via this treasure map. Well this faith I seek is my stone of dreams. I long for something to believe in, some guidance, more than I want my novel on the New York Times bestseller list. And this book + the message I heard at church on Sunday is like my treasure map. I still don't have the code cracked, but I have the map. Isn't that the first step?
So The Voices are all abuzz with these things now and I know that Coelho and this random Harlem preacher were placed in my life at this time to help me realize some important things.
I do let my fear of what others think of me stop me from being me and doing what I know will make me happy. I do base my standards on others' standards. And I do ignore that little voice inside of me that warns me about and pushes me towards certain paths. I am not really working towards what I want because of fear. And I don't believe in myself enough to make things better for myself.
A lot of what fueled my breakdown this summer had to do with "other people" that I made a bigger part of my life than they deserved to be. They weren't checking for me but I behaved as if I needed them in my life. Meanwhile the people that I did need in my life were being pushed aside and neglected. I've always tried to be liked, or tried to make others happy even in spite of myself. I see now that I took it too far and it became a problem.
-- to be continued --
*smooches...looking for a spell to rid me of fear*
----------
I really want you to not judge me for watching The Wizards of Waverly Place; it's a really good show. Really. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!
Monday, September 07, 2009
Eyes Wide Open, Pt. 1: "I Love You But I'm Over You"
(I'm making this a multi-part post because I have a lot I want to say but I know attention spans on the web aren't the best. See how much I love you?)
Now readers, I want you to brace yourself because I'm going to share a bit of shocking news with you. Ready? OKAY.
I went to church on Sunday.
And it wasn't like: Mami called and guilted and/or tricked me into going to church with her. I received an invite to attend church with Eb the Celeb... and accepted. Of my own free will. Could you just die?
Before you all decide to stage an Intervention (although if you did that'd be SO AWESOME 'cause you know that's my show!) let me add that I accepted the offer because I took this random, out-of-the-blue invite from Eb as a sign. An omen, if you will. And I interpreted it as such because I'd just finished reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, a book suggested by another (former, honorary) NYC Blogger, DollFace, and it did something to me that I can't explain. On Twitter, I described my experience after reading the book as such:
Those of you who read my blog know that I've lost my faith, but this book... I feel like I know now how I can get it back.
And I'm tearing up just thinking about how great it will be to believe in something again. I should've known the answers were in a book...
Anyways the book, for those of you MTV, ADHD fools who can't sit still long enough to read a menu let alone a book, is about following your dreams and listening to your heart without fear; knowing that there is a "Personal Treasure" waiting to be uncovered by you. And in the book the character is often told to follow the omens that the world sends his way because they are leading him to his destiny. Why? Because "it is written."
YO- that shit right there fucked with my head so much! (PS- you can also thank this book for adding ANOTHER tattoo to the list of tattoos I need in my life: the Arabic symbol for maktub...)
So I've just read this book and I'm all moved by it and ready to buy multiple copies of it and study it like the info contained in those pages will be on the final, at the same time that I'm looking to get into some trouble. It was Saturday night after all.
(Here's the part of the story where you may blame Nina for not coming to NYC... had she been here none of this would have taken place. Then again, her not coming was like another omen... I can't ignore that shit!)
But instead of finding trouble, Eb suggests me & the babies trek up to Harlem, watch movies all night, sleep over and go to church with her in the morning. Random, right? No one, besides Mami, who'd love nothing more than for me to join Evangel Church, has ever dared to say to me, "Hey, Rocky, let's go to church tomorrow" so I took it as an omen. The Universe was trying to tell me something. I sent out an S.O.S. this summer and it was being answered via a book and an invite. How could I say no?
And here's the part where you get just as creeped out as I did. The sermon on Sunday? It was about following the path god made for you, being true to yourself, putting your life in order, HELL, LIVING YOUR LIFE w/out fear of what others were going to think. At one point he had the congregation turn to their neighbor and say, "Neighbor, I love you but I'm over you." How fitting...
Go ahead and die three hundred deaths because I surely did when I heard it.
Was I being punked? I honestly (and unbeknownst to Eb and her roommate, who was sitting right next to me) had to fight back tears because it was like he was speaking right to me and no one else. It was scary to swallow so much truth like that. The omens were right and I was right to follow them: I was supposed to be listening to this preacher speak these words right then and there.
-- to be continued --
*smooches...planning on reading EVERYTHING Coelho ever wrote*
----------
and y'all know I'm a semi-professional stalker... I follow his ass on Twitter AND have his blog bookmarked. I ain't playing w/Paulo...
Now readers, I want you to brace yourself because I'm going to share a bit of shocking news with you. Ready? OKAY.
I went to church on Sunday.
And it wasn't like: Mami called and guilted and/or tricked me into going to church with her. I received an invite to attend church with Eb the Celeb... and accepted. Of my own free will. Could you just die?
Before you all decide to stage an Intervention (although if you did that'd be SO AWESOME 'cause you know that's my show!) let me add that I accepted the offer because I took this random, out-of-the-blue invite from Eb as a sign. An omen, if you will. And I interpreted it as such because I'd just finished reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, a book suggested by another (former, honorary) NYC Blogger, DollFace, and it did something to me that I can't explain. On Twitter, I described my experience after reading the book as such:
Those of you who read my blog know that I've lost my faith, but this book... I feel like I know now how I can get it back.
And I'm tearing up just thinking about how great it will be to believe in something again. I should've known the answers were in a book...
Anyways the book, for those of you MTV, ADHD fools who can't sit still long enough to read a menu let alone a book, is about following your dreams and listening to your heart without fear; knowing that there is a "Personal Treasure" waiting to be uncovered by you. And in the book the character is often told to follow the omens that the world sends his way because they are leading him to his destiny. Why? Because "it is written."
YO- that shit right there fucked with my head so much! (PS- you can also thank this book for adding ANOTHER tattoo to the list of tattoos I need in my life: the Arabic symbol for maktub...)
So I've just read this book and I'm all moved by it and ready to buy multiple copies of it and study it like the info contained in those pages will be on the final, at the same time that I'm looking to get into some trouble. It was Saturday night after all.
(Here's the part of the story where you may blame Nina for not coming to NYC... had she been here none of this would have taken place. Then again, her not coming was like another omen... I can't ignore that shit!)
But instead of finding trouble, Eb suggests me & the babies trek up to Harlem, watch movies all night, sleep over and go to church with her in the morning. Random, right? No one, besides Mami, who'd love nothing more than for me to join Evangel Church, has ever dared to say to me, "Hey, Rocky, let's go to church tomorrow" so I took it as an omen. The Universe was trying to tell me something. I sent out an S.O.S. this summer and it was being answered via a book and an invite. How could I say no?
And here's the part where you get just as creeped out as I did. The sermon on Sunday? It was about following the path god made for you, being true to yourself, putting your life in order, HELL, LIVING YOUR LIFE w/out fear of what others were going to think. At one point he had the congregation turn to their neighbor and say, "Neighbor, I love you but I'm over you." How fitting...
Go ahead and die three hundred deaths because I surely did when I heard it.
Was I being punked? I honestly (and unbeknownst to Eb and her roommate, who was sitting right next to me) had to fight back tears because it was like he was speaking right to me and no one else. It was scary to swallow so much truth like that. The omens were right and I was right to follow them: I was supposed to be listening to this preacher speak these words right then and there.
-- to be continued --
*smooches...planning on reading EVERYTHING Coelho ever wrote*
----------
and y'all know I'm a semi-professional stalker... I follow his ass on Twitter AND have his blog bookmarked. I ain't playing w/Paulo...
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Justifying My Netflix Addiction
Ah, Netflix... for a measly $18 a month, you provide me with many, many hours of entertainment the likes of which cable TV could never compete with (how many times have I heard you all complain about nothing being on TV?).
This past weekend I pulled an all-nighter with the last two discs from season one of ER. How awesome is that show? And I'm using the present tense on that because although the series ended on NBC it STILL REMAINS one of the BEST dramas to ever grace the airwaves. I dare you to deny it.
Anyway, in one particular episode Dr. Benton's mom said to him, in the middle of her dementia, "Your talent is god's gift to you. What you do with that talent is your gift back to god."
Normally I roll my eyes at this sort of Jesus Freak talk, especially from old people who are CLEARLY trying to win brownie points in order to gain entrance into heaven, but at 5:30 in the morning it kind of spoke to me.
As in, maybe if I write the best stories anyone's ever read EVER, god will grace me with "his" presence, maybe give me some of that faith I keep hearing about that comforts people in their time of need.
That'd be real Christian-like of god, don't you think?
*smooches...wondering who I have to blow to get a meeting with god*
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and how AWESOME is that Poison song? gosh I miss the late 80s early 90s...
This past weekend I pulled an all-nighter with the last two discs from season one of ER. How awesome is that show? And I'm using the present tense on that because although the series ended on NBC it STILL REMAINS one of the BEST dramas to ever grace the airwaves. I dare you to deny it.
Anyway, in one particular episode Dr. Benton's mom said to him, in the middle of her dementia, "Your talent is god's gift to you. What you do with that talent is your gift back to god."
Normally I roll my eyes at this sort of Jesus Freak talk, especially from old people who are CLEARLY trying to win brownie points in order to gain entrance into heaven, but at 5:30 in the morning it kind of spoke to me.
As in, maybe if I write the best stories anyone's ever read EVER, god will grace me with "his" presence, maybe give me some of that faith I keep hearing about that comforts people in their time of need.
That'd be real Christian-like of god, don't you think?
*smooches...wondering who I have to blow to get a meeting with god*
----------
and how AWESOME is that Poison song? gosh I miss the late 80s early 90s...
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