Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Eyes Wide Open, Pt. 3: The Four Obstacles

(This should be the last of it. I think. We'll see how it goes... basically I read a good book & heard a good message at church & began to REALLY re-evaluate my life, for real this time.)

For those who never read The Alchemist (or did and found it BLAH), you're probably wondering what about it touched me so deeply? Well, it really spoke to me from the introduction. And I never read the introductions in a book- I find them pretentious and unnecessary. But for some reason I read this one. And right from there I KNEW this book was for me.

Coelho spoke of four things that keep people from following their dreams, all of which I fall prey to:

1- We are told from childhood that our dreams are impossible (CHECK)
2- Love for others keeps us from following our dreams because we don't want to hurt those we love (CHECK)
3- Fear of the defeats waiting for us during this dream journey (CHECK)
4- Fear of realizing our dreams (CHECK)

I was four for four and convinced that this book was written for me and me alone. And that's why I read it and that's why I've been in this euphoria ever since I finished the last line of the novel.

So here I am, face to face with these four obstacles and a list of things I want to do in my lifetime and I'm struggling to make sense of it all. Like, how do I hush The Voice that sounds a lot like my mom putting me down? How do I stop caring about what others think of me? How do I battle fear of success and the unknown? How do I FINALLY quit letting things happen to me and MAKE things happen for me?

This is what I've been thinking about since Saturday.

One thing I hate about all this introspection? There's no quick fix or easy answers and above all else I need to do and learn, having more patience is at #1. "Slow and steady wins the race" right? RIGHT?

And I feel like I have armed myself with some good information, some well-placed angels and motivators and a will to succeed that has long been dormant and is slowly rubbing the sleep from its eyes. I can see this path that I want to take (I got that lil tidbit from The Wizards of Waverly Place Movie... don't judge me- it was chock full of messages that mirrored The Alchemist's message, too. I'm telling you... "there are signs everywhere" [that line I got from Fools Rush In LOL]) and the steps necessary to get there.

It is a long, arduous road with many, many steps that may very well take years. However I can not afford to be afraid to commit to it, to trust myself and what it is I want. I need to get a hold of some Patience In A Bottle. STAT.

Only thing now is to actually define what it is I want. I mean really, really want.

(It might be time to put aside that one dream of having Buffy, The Vampire Slayer back on the air, seeing as the series finale of Angel pretty much destroyed any chance of that. But I won't, however, give up on that dream of having magical, supernatural powers. I won't. I know they're in there somewhere. I just KNOW it. I'm gonna keep that on my list.)

*smooches...kinda scared to move forward, but more scared not to*
in the meantime, can someone please come over here and clean my apartment? I think I'd be able to think more clearly and find my Personal Treasure if my apartment were clean...