Once, in junior high school, I embarked on a budding romance with a classmate. He liked me and I liked him and it was all very exciting and hush-hush. It hadn't gone beyond flirting when out of the blue, one of my good friends told me she liked him. I immediately ended all potential happenings with this dude.
It happened again in college, before I met K&N's dad. There was a guy I was kinda sweet on and we were in the flirty stages when a friend confessed her feelings for him. Seeing as I was already juggling two suitors I let that one go, too, and moved on. This has basically been my m.o. my entire dating life- I cannot, in good conscious, be with a guy my good friend has feelings for, used to date or expressed interest in (sorry for the preposition there...feeling lazy today).
Most times it's because of the universal law of DIBS- if I didn't open my mouth and say, "I like this guy and am actively pursuing a lil something with him" then I must cease all crush-like thoughts of said dude as soon as someone else claims him. It's just how my brain works. Other times I know that my ADHD-having ass isn't really, truly interested in something real so I just step aside and let someone else try for real love.
Now, please don't mistake this as some backdoor compliment where I think I'm the shit and can take your man in one fell swoop. I mean, I probably could take MOST of y'all's mens, but that's not what I'm saying.
Too many times women are so bitchy, catty and back-stabby to one another. I hate that shit. If you're a female and you're among my close friends, please know that your happiness and well-being and friendship means the world to me, and I will always put that BEFORE some random dude with whom I have no real ties. Whether or not you skanky heffas are doing the same for me is besides the point- that's just how I roll.
Of course you know I'm writing this because I had this situation happen again, right? I had to pass on a dude because there was some grey DIBS situations happening, and in the end, I want the friend more than I want the guy. There are a million guys out there I can holla at. Hell- there are three security guards here at work I'd make out with instead of eating lunch if given the chance, but there's only ONE friend like her.
That decision is always a pretty easy one for me, especially since my feelings for dudes are always so fleeting. It would be such a wonderful world if females just took a moment to consider other females more in these types of situations. Seriously, it would solve so much! We'd be ruling the world n shit!
Think about it- half of the mean-girl, low self-esteem situations we deal with would cease to exist. Besides, who wants bitter bitches over for dinner eye-balling your man whenever you leave to use the bathroom? Nah, I can't handle the stress.
*smooches...steering clear of bad karma*
----------
I almost called this post: Chicks Before Dicks, but then I felt like it made me sound like a lesbian. And it's okay if YOU'RE a lesbian; me and The Gays get along quite fine. Just, not in THAT way. In the boudoir, I prefer penis over vagina *side eye*
Showing posts with label WomanLaw. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WomanLaw. Show all posts
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Thursday, September 02, 2010
Jaded School Of Parenting: Bitch You Got Babies!
This is another installment of the #WomanLaw series started by members of the Social Media Mafia Bangs and a Bun, The F$%k-it List, Smarty P. Jones and myself.
I chose this topic because it ties in with my parenting class series that I started on Monday Musings 2 seasons ago, helping the clueless parents of the world get their shit together.
But today, let me just address the mothers out there who, on a daily basis, forget that they are supposed to be a positive influence and role model in their children's lives. A little something I like to call, "Bitch! You got babies!"
Yes, I'm talking to you, at the club almost every night, booty-tootin' for the cameras in your see-through leggings and "5-Star Chick" tattoo across your chest.
And you, bringing home man after man after man, not being discrete about your hoenastics of taking precautions as to whom you allow around your babies.
And you, damn near 40 but still starting and partaking of fights in the streets like you're in Junior High School.
And especially you, proudly announcing to the internets all of your sexual exploits with sub-par rappers, the money they pay you for said exploits and inviting violence and danger into your life.
All you bitches need to remember that you're in charge of another human being's life, and when you decided to carry your pregnancy to term you also signed up to give that new life the proper guidance and nourishment- both physical and emotional- that it needed. To strut around now talking about, "He grown, he can take care of himself," and the boy is 10 with no daddy figure... *sigh* you need to re-evaluate your priorities.
I'm less concerned with YOUR happiness and more so with the potential purse-snatcher and co-ed rapist you're raising, or the teen mom/gang girl my tax dollars will soon be responsible for. YOU don't matter as much once that baby comes into play. You need to adjust your situation to make sure that your kids have the best opportunities to succeed in life. They didn't ask to be born, YOU chose that, so now that they're here, do right by them.
Bitch, you got babies! Get yourself a tall glass of ACT RIGHT, with no ice to avoid dilution, before it's too late.
*smooches...looking to offend as many bad moms as humanly possible*
----------
because you should all be ASHAMED of your behavior, dammit!
I chose this topic because it ties in with my parenting class series that I started on Monday Musings 2 seasons ago, helping the clueless parents of the world get their shit together.
But today, let me just address the mothers out there who, on a daily basis, forget that they are supposed to be a positive influence and role model in their children's lives. A little something I like to call, "Bitch! You got babies!"
Yes, I'm talking to you, at the club almost every night, booty-tootin' for the cameras in your see-through leggings and "5-Star Chick" tattoo across your chest.
And you, bringing home man after man after man, not being discrete about your hoenastics of taking precautions as to whom you allow around your babies.
And you, damn near 40 but still starting and partaking of fights in the streets like you're in Junior High School.
And especially you, proudly announcing to the internets all of your sexual exploits with sub-par rappers, the money they pay you for said exploits and inviting violence and danger into your life.
All you bitches need to remember that you're in charge of another human being's life, and when you decided to carry your pregnancy to term you also signed up to give that new life the proper guidance and nourishment- both physical and emotional- that it needed. To strut around now talking about, "He grown, he can take care of himself," and the boy is 10 with no daddy figure... *sigh* you need to re-evaluate your priorities.
I'm less concerned with YOUR happiness and more so with the potential purse-snatcher and co-ed rapist you're raising, or the teen mom/gang girl my tax dollars will soon be responsible for. YOU don't matter as much once that baby comes into play. You need to adjust your situation to make sure that your kids have the best opportunities to succeed in life. They didn't ask to be born, YOU chose that, so now that they're here, do right by them.
Bitch, you got babies! Get yourself a tall glass of ACT RIGHT, with no ice to avoid dilution, before it's too late.
*smooches...looking to offend as many bad moms as humanly possible*
----------
because you should all be ASHAMED of your behavior, dammit!
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Woman Law: She Ain't Heavy, She's My Sister
My homies and I are embarking in a series of posts we are attributing to a list of Woman Laws. Previous posts can be found at the sites of The F$%k-It List, Smarty Jones, Bangs and a Bun and Rei..., err I mean, Volde..., um I mean She-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named (and right about now I'm waiting for Muireann's brain to explode because I referenced Harry Potter). Read them at your leisure. Here's my contribution.
I have a Penzo cousin who is two months younger than me, and growing up her mother used that as a spring board to launch some ill-advised competition with my mother called, "Whose Daughter Is Better?"
We were sent to the same school, forced to play together and compared to one another by my Penzo aunt at every turn. I specifically remember her saying that I was accepted to Brooklyn Tech- a school my cousin most certainly did NOT get into- because it was a lottery. Not my intelligence but rather chance. My name was pulled out of a hat and her daughter was not so lucky.
#sidenote: I do believe the competition ended when, at the ripe old age of 17, while I was filling out college applications, said cousin had a baby. Game. Blouses.
I never really understood why my aunt was so hard-pressed to have her daughter be "better" than me and why it was even something she should have aspired to. We are FAMILY. Shouldn't we be encouraging one another? Supporting each other's dreams and whatnot? And more than that, as women of color, hell WOMEN, PERIOD! shouldn't we have each other's back?
It's no secret that a big huge difference between men & women, especially in the professional world, is that more often than not men will vouch for and mentor and help each other. Women, instead, keep other women down. Why is that? (Please NOTE: I don't have specific data and I'm not saying this is EVERY WOMAN, just the business women I've observed myself. And TO HELL WITH YOUR SENSITIVE ASS for making me write this disclaimer!)
Given all the strikes already against us, wouldn't you want to help all the women in your field do well?
And while we're on it, would it kill us to genuinely compliment one another? Instead of being mad that someone has on the latest Prada slides you can't afford, be happy for her and the fact that she's able to treat herself to such luxuries. Tell her her shoes are cute and keep it moving. Stop cutting down every woman you see in the street because deep down you're jealous and feel that pointing out HER flaws will make YOU seem better.
Don't be my Penzo aunt!
Love your fellow woman. Take her under your wing or seek out her advice. Disregard what's wrong with her lacefront and admire what's right about her accomplishments. Don't begrudge her the promotion or opportunity you wanted for yourself when she clearly earned it, and just promise yourself to work harder.
Honestly, no one can pull off green all the time.
*smooches...too busy striving to be a hater*
----------
well, not anymore anyway. it doesn't happen overnight, it has to be a conscious choice to STOP COMPETING and before you know it, it's old hat.
----------------------------
I have a Penzo cousin who is two months younger than me, and growing up her mother used that as a spring board to launch some ill-advised competition with my mother called, "Whose Daughter Is Better?"
We were sent to the same school, forced to play together and compared to one another by my Penzo aunt at every turn. I specifically remember her saying that I was accepted to Brooklyn Tech- a school my cousin most certainly did NOT get into- because it was a lottery. Not my intelligence but rather chance. My name was pulled out of a hat and her daughter was not so lucky.
#sidenote: I do believe the competition ended when, at the ripe old age of 17, while I was filling out college applications, said cousin had a baby. Game. Blouses.
I never really understood why my aunt was so hard-pressed to have her daughter be "better" than me and why it was even something she should have aspired to. We are FAMILY. Shouldn't we be encouraging one another? Supporting each other's dreams and whatnot? And more than that, as women of color, hell WOMEN, PERIOD! shouldn't we have each other's back?
It's no secret that a big huge difference between men & women, especially in the professional world, is that more often than not men will vouch for and mentor and help each other. Women, instead, keep other women down. Why is that? (Please NOTE: I don't have specific data and I'm not saying this is EVERY WOMAN, just the business women I've observed myself. And TO HELL WITH YOUR SENSITIVE ASS for making me write this disclaimer!)
Given all the strikes already against us, wouldn't you want to help all the women in your field do well?
And while we're on it, would it kill us to genuinely compliment one another? Instead of being mad that someone has on the latest Prada slides you can't afford, be happy for her and the fact that she's able to treat herself to such luxuries. Tell her her shoes are cute and keep it moving. Stop cutting down every woman you see in the street because deep down you're jealous and feel that pointing out HER flaws will make YOU seem better.
Don't be my Penzo aunt!
Love your fellow woman. Take her under your wing or seek out her advice. Disregard what's wrong with her lacefront and admire what's right about her accomplishments. Don't begrudge her the promotion or opportunity you wanted for yourself when she clearly earned it, and just promise yourself to work harder.
Honestly, no one can pull off green all the time.
*smooches...too busy striving to be a hater*
----------
well, not anymore anyway. it doesn't happen overnight, it has to be a conscious choice to STOP COMPETING and before you know it, it's old hat.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
