Once, in junior high school, I embarked on a budding romance with a classmate. He liked me and I liked him and it was all very exciting and hush-hush. It hadn't gone beyond flirting when out of the blue, one of my good friends told me she liked him. I immediately ended all potential happenings with this dude.
It happened again in college, before I met K&N's dad. There was a guy I was kinda sweet on and we were in the flirty stages when a friend confessed her feelings for him. Seeing as I was already juggling two suitors I let that one go, too, and moved on. This has basically been my m.o. my entire dating life- I cannot, in good conscious, be with a guy my good friend has feelings for, used to date or expressed interest in (sorry for the preposition there...feeling lazy today).
Most times it's because of the universal law of DIBS- if I didn't open my mouth and say, "I like this guy and am actively pursuing a lil something with him" then I must cease all crush-like thoughts of said dude as soon as someone else claims him. It's just how my brain works. Other times I know that my ADHD-having ass isn't really, truly interested in something real so I just step aside and let someone else try for real love.
Now, please don't mistake this as some backdoor compliment where I think I'm the shit and can take your man in one fell swoop. I mean, I probably could take MOST of y'all's mens, but that's not what I'm saying.
Too many times women are so bitchy, catty and back-stabby to one another. I hate that shit. If you're a female and you're among my close friends, please know that your happiness and well-being and friendship means the world to me, and I will always put that BEFORE some random dude with whom I have no real ties. Whether or not you skanky heffas are doing the same for me is besides the point- that's just how I roll.
Of course you know I'm writing this because I had this situation happen again, right? I had to pass on a dude because there was some grey DIBS situations happening, and in the end, I want the friend more than I want the guy. There are a million guys out there I can holla at. Hell- there are three security guards here at work I'd make out with instead of eating lunch if given the chance, but there's only ONE friend like her.
That decision is always a pretty easy one for me, especially since my feelings for dudes are always so fleeting. It would be such a wonderful world if females just took a moment to consider other females more in these types of situations. Seriously, it would solve so much! We'd be ruling the world n shit!
Think about it- half of the mean-girl, low self-esteem situations we deal with would cease to exist. Besides, who wants bitter bitches over for dinner eye-balling your man whenever you leave to use the bathroom? Nah, I can't handle the stress.
*smooches...steering clear of bad karma*
I almost called this post: Chicks Before Dicks, but then I felt like it made me sound like a lesbian. And it's okay if YOU'RE a lesbian; me and The Gays get along quite fine. Just, not in THAT way. In the boudoir, I prefer penis over vagina *side eye*