Thursday, November 11, 2010

So Many Excuses

I'm exhausted.

I have to write from 9-5 for someone else.

I have to be a mom the minute I step into the house.

My apartment is a mess.

Something is wrong with my feet, uterus, sinuses and I need to see a doctor.

I'm clinically depressed.

Creditors are after me and it's stressing me out.

There's so much to do I can't focus.

I have nothing to say and no one wants to read it anyway.

And I'm exhausted. Again.

These are all the things I tell myself when I want to psych myself out of writing. They're very powerfully negative and debilitating and soul crushing, and I'm the idiot that believes it every time I hear them in my head.

But I have all these amazing creative ideas that I know will be great and I want to share them with the world and get the Jaded Empire off the ground. We will be so AWESOME. The entertainment world will bow down to us and kiss our rings like we're the Pope n shit, only better and less judgmental and Jesus-y not know how it survived before us and will do anything to keep us around. ANYTHING. I just know it can be that great.

This is my sisyphean struggle with The Voices. Some wish me well, some don't. They're all so loud, though, it's hard to know who's who and what's what. To their credit, they do keep the "Kill Whitey" Voice muzzled, so there's that...

*smooches...venting because I can*
that's the beauty of blogging. that and closing comments. POW!