But this year I relented because it was my cousin’s birthday and he was DJ-ing at a spot on E. Houston. It took me forever to actually get motivated to leave Brooklyn because I was nursing my ego after being rejected by yet ANOTHER literary magazine, but I grabbed a partner in crime and got there at about 1AM. My costume? I dressed as a 35-year-old mother of two who was ripped from her comfy couch and Law & Order: SVU marathon to deal with drunken fools in the street *side eye*
At first I was annoyed because the trains were acting up and then THIS:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiInvUO5FGQnkz7oYXQ3dj5Hu55L0_H0wBJVjs0G98J69nTuqncSM7MBhU_Lym6D2ysY2ef_rs_I5hggtMyaLRy905Hi12X-JN4Rp1ykNNK5cc0IPsAHxPNXG5BYq8IwRSWh1jW/s320/hweentweet1.psd.jpg)
But once I got to the bar I met up with a cute, flirty bouncer, another cousin was there, too, and then THIS:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Rc4WAn8y9jhiq9SbOqL6VVDLNGop06P1jimjbNIdQCEr-GabJ1Wul93BpJz09DabBiJXWOhAf4F-E2KauJylNh4NOLIc55ohx27VD3MJNiQVXjoJ0cUSBC-AMAvxUQvILqo4/s320/hweentweet2.jpg)
And this:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUV5_XSJOSGyXU4pYWhG8AbEPTxmZhIzEcPB2PJ-Wzj1RBjAd6jRlNYBkPurfPo5o9QWuKApW_orxp7Xga99Td7dkM3ffa9WLBkFzFzZIE9Qlh72YFGNZIj3gcFSwqx3wCpVAn/s320/hweentweet3.jpg)
Aaaaannnnnnnnd THIS:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-lu3EcoRXzFzMacvp_e6w-kDtvo43VRrcnf0dYmr7JCWvK46qk5RJN2UhBM_bVliN9UXIP16SJMCwd9QDlOQzXZUa1yqqcHOy4Ih9jVkjBg2gcON7aZWcWM1PUkH4miFB_7qa/s320/hweentweet4.jpg)
It was allllll downhill from there.
I got home at 7AM. Need I say more?
*smooches...still tired from Saturday night*
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I think my body was so tired that it summoned my period a whole week early to punish me!