Classic Fridays, 2011: Bruce Lee

Every once in a while, I like to do something a little different, like choose themes for random months and challenge myself to stick with the theme throughout. For this month, I'm taking y'all back. WAY back. To when Jaded was a little girl, stuck indoors while other kids played outside, attempting to stay sane by drowning in music, television and books.

I have a vague memory of Papi taking me to a small dingy movie theater near our house to see king fu movies. Whether or not this is a real memory, I don't know (maybe I'll ask him this weekend) but I recall sitting in a theater and being introduced the amazingness that is/was Lee Jun-fan AKA Bruce Lee.

(I should also note that back in those days there was something called DOUBLE FEATURES, where you saw two films for the price of one. While at the movies with Papi to see Bruce Lee beat someone to a bloody pulp, I also had to sit through a horrible, nightmare-inducing film called "Motel Hell" that put me off jerky for the rest of my life. Rent it and you'll see why. Oh jesus I get the creeps just thinking about it!)

This little powerhouse of a man came on screen, kicked some ass and stole my little Dominican heart. Even now, as I try to write this post about someone with whom I totally fell in love, only to find that he had died before I was even born, I get a little misty-eyed.

The way he moved across the screen was not unlike a dance. Everything was choreographed to the tiniest detail and when put together it was all such a treat for my brain. I wanted to be that effortless in my movement. I wanted that power behind my fist.

I thank WPIX-11 and WWOR-9 for all the kung fu films they showed on the weekends (you know, while you all played tag in the park and I wasn't allowed outside?) and a special shout out to Papi who, unknowingly, introduced me to my first crush & a secret desire to be a fierce warrior, dancer and philosopher. Even in my most stressful moments, I try to remember Bruce's advice, and I promise I only exact the proper revenge when someone causes me to bleed my own blood!




Isn't/wasn't he just the dreamiest? His wife was so lucky...

*smooches...reminding myself to purchase Bruce's filmography*
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I used to have it on VHS, but YOU-KNOW-WHO got it in the divorce *side eye*

Classic Fridays, 2011: Lois Duncan

Every once in a while, I like to do something a little different, like choose themes for random months and challenge myself to stick with the theme throughout. For this month, I'm taking y'all back. WAY back. To when Jaded was a little girl, stuck indoors while other kids played outside, attempting to stay sane by drowning in music, television and books.

Sometimes, while locked away in my ivory tower, I would shut off the TV and radio for a minute (well, maybe not the radio) and escape into a good book. Back in the 80s and 90s, the Brooklyn Public Library didn't put any borrowing limits on books and I took full advantage of that, grabbing as many as 20 books at a time on each visit to the Marcy or Dekalb branches.

During those visits, I fell in love with one author in particular- Lois Duncan. Her books "Stranger with My Face" and "Summer of Fear" awakened my fascination with the occult and supernatural world(so you can blame Duncan for my Harry Potter and Buffy obsession!). From there I went on to read "Killing Mr. Griffin" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer" which weren't about the occult but OH MY GOD the suspense kept my attention throughout.

After that I quietly made my way through all of her books, and besides the titles previously listed, the following Lois Duncan tales get the Jaded Seal of Approval:

Locked in Time- WHAT? This book was the shit! Read it!
Daughters of Eve- oh how I wanted to join this secret society...
Down a Dark Hall- SO GLAD my mom never sent me away to school!
Ransom- riding the school bus was TOUGH after this one
They Never Came Home- Suspense. Drama. READ IT!

Duncan has many others I've yet to read (YES I wrote YET. So what if they're young adult novels? I LOVE SHE!) but you can bet on me having finished them all by the end of next year.

I highly recommend ANY Lois Duncan book to the young and young at heart. They are truly DIVINE!

*smooches...reminded you to pick up a book and READ*
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I never tire of pushing books on you!

Classic Fridays, 2011: Telenovelas

Every once in a while, I like to do something a little different, like choose themes for random months and challenge myself to stick with the theme throughout. For this month, I'm taking y'all back. WAY back. To when Jaded was a little girl, stuck indoors while other kids played outside, attempting to stay sane by drowning in music, television and books.

Before I learned to speak English, Spanish was the only language in my world. Mostly because Grandma and Papi raised us while our mothers worked, but also in part to what was on television while we were home. Telenovelas.

I challenge you to find a Latino household that doesn't partake of this guilty pleasure! When I was little eight o'clock could not come fast enough, because that's when they aired all the juiciest shows: Cristal, Las Amazonas and Karina (these were all on TV at different stages of my life, but remain among my favorite shows).

The best part about novelas is that they had a beginning and an end. It was basically a very loooooooong mini-series. And the best ones came from Delia Fiallo and were from Venezuela. Those bitchez knew the ins and outs of some good ass serial dramas! All the stories were a variation of:

Poor, beautiful girl w/out parents
She meets a rich, handsome man, who also falls for her
His family is vehemently opposed to the relationship
The man is betrothed to a bitch rich girl arranged by his parents
The poor, beautiful girl finds some sort of success or financial gain
She's finally at their level, might have even found her parents
A whole bunch of other shit happens
Poor, beautiful girl + rich, handsome man live happily ever after

It's predictable but sooooo addictive and fun! I love Cristal the best. It's the only one I caught from beginning to end. Basically, Cristina is a poor, beautiful, orphan who dreams of becoming a model. She lives with two other women- the gold-digging Inocencia and the bookish Zoraida. She's eventually hired to model for Casa Victoria, run by [DRAMATIC PAUSE] HER MOTHER, VICTORIA! And she falls in love with Victoria's step-son, Luis Alfredo, but Victoria is all, "Oh no you don't, BIATCH!" and squashes the whole shit, mainly because she discovers her husband, Alejandro, is having an affair with Cristina's roommate, Inocencia. CHILD...drama!

I won't ruin the rest of the story for you, but here's a poorly dubbed clip to wet your whistle (and please bow down to Rudy La Scala and that kick ass theme song, bitchezzz. That used to be my SONG!):



If anyone knows of the box set on DVD, hook a sistah up!

*smooches...remembering happier times*
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cookies, milk and novelas; that used to be my whole world!

Classic Fridays, 2011: Diana Ross

Every once in a while, I like to do something a little different, like choose themes for random months and challenge myself to stick with the theme throughout. For this month, I'm taking y'all back. WAY back. To when Jaded was a little girl, stuck indoors while other kids played outside, attempting to stay sane by drowning in music, television and books.

This week I want to remind you of the fabulous Diva of all Divas, Miss Diana Ross the Boss. Don't even bother trying to deny her fabulousness because if you do I will stab your throat. STAB. YOUR THROAT.



Miss Ross is EVERYTHING, all day, everyday. She's so amazing, in fact, that I will forgive her for not discouraging son Evan from acting (LAWD that child just CANNOT act!!). I remember listening to Lite FM on Saturdays as we [read: I] cleaned the apartment, and hearing "Good Morning, Heartache" from the "Lady Sings the Blues" soundtrack and just stopping mid-scrub to close my eyes and feel that song. And OH HOW I CRIED when Richard Pryor's character died in the film. REAL THUG TEARS!!





And please tell me you were as ecstatic as I was to witness her professionalism and showmanship during that Central Park concert in the rain. IN THE RAIN! There's was a freaking monsoon in NYC and she was all "tra-la-laaa" as if it wasn't pelting her in the face! "The show will not stop! There's no reason for it to stop. It's only rain."







On many a lonely, tween-aged night, I'd listen to my Ms. Ross greatest hits double album, singing into a hairbrush, performing for my dolls and stuffed animals with all the flair and drama that Miss Ross exudes on stage. I wanted to be her! And this was the song I always sang the loudest, not even knowing what it was about:



Even today, I wish I had her voice just for the three minutes it would take to sing this beautifully sad tune. Just THREE LITTLE MINUTES!



Diana, I just need to see you perform live ONCE before we leave this world. Please and thank you!

*smooches...wondering how much her hair costs*
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I want that hair, too, y'all. like, NOW. And her 1983 butt. That was a cute lil booty she was working with, no? Be sure to check in every Friday in August for another classic moment!