Friday, August 05, 2011

Classic Fridays, 2011: Diana Ross

Every once in a while, I like to do something a little different, like choose themes for random months and challenge myself to stick with the theme throughout. For this month, I'm taking y'all back. WAY back. To when Jaded was a little girl, stuck indoors while other kids played outside, attempting to stay sane by drowning in music, television and books.

This week I want to remind you of the fabulous Diva of all Divas, Miss Diana Ross the Boss. Don't even bother trying to deny her fabulousness because if you do I will stab your throat. STAB. YOUR THROAT.

Miss Ross is EVERYTHING, all day, everyday. She's so amazing, in fact, that I will forgive her for not discouraging son Evan from acting (LAWD that child just CANNOT act!!). I remember listening to Lite FM on Saturdays as we [read: I] cleaned the apartment, and hearing "Good Morning, Heartache" from the "Lady Sings the Blues" soundtrack and just stopping mid-scrub to close my eyes and feel that song. And OH HOW I CRIED when Richard Pryor's character died in the film. REAL THUG TEARS!!

And please tell me you were as ecstatic as I was to witness her professionalism and showmanship during that Central Park concert in the rain. IN THE RAIN! There's was a freaking monsoon in NYC and she was all "tra-la-laaa" as if it wasn't pelting her in the face! "The show will not stop! There's no reason for it to stop. It's only rain."

On many a lonely, tween-aged night, I'd listen to my Ms. Ross greatest hits double album, singing into a hairbrush, performing for my dolls and stuffed animals with all the flair and drama that Miss Ross exudes on stage. I wanted to be her! And this was the song I always sang the loudest, not even knowing what it was about:

Even today, I wish I had her voice just for the three minutes it would take to sing this beautifully sad tune. Just THREE LITTLE MINUTES!

Diana, I just need to see you perform live ONCE before we leave this world. Please and thank you!

*smooches...wondering how much her hair costs*
I want that hair, too, y'all. like, NOW. And her 1983 butt. That was a cute lil booty she was working with, no? Be sure to check in every Friday in August for another classic moment!