Thursday, August 04, 2011

According To Jaded: The Birds & The Bees

I recently gave the homie Joshen a bit of a pre-date pep talk. Here's hoping everything worked out for him and his young lady...

ME: Do we need to have "The Talk" or are you covered?

Joshen: Hmmmmm nah I don't want to take any chances, lets have the talk.

ME: Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much they share a special hug. And that special hug plants a seed in the woman's belly. And 9mos later a product of their love is born.

Joshen: God that's how it works? I've been hugging everyone. What if we hug but I'm wearing my winter coat will the seed still go inside her? I hugged my dad yesterday. Jesus why do people let me hug them?!

ME: OMG I left out the most important part- it has to be a naked hug. Don't worry- your dad is safe!

*smooches...educating the masses, one hugger at a time*
I really must remember to lead with the naked hugging part; I freak out a lot of little kids with this "talk"