Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Top 10 Things Some NYers Trick Themselves Into Believing

10- Tasty-d-lite is delicious. Because it's not. It's sort of like eating frozen, blended cardboard.

9- Shake Shack is worth the three-hour wait in line. Puh-leese! You know who makes awesome shakes, no wait? My grandfather.

8- It's okay that a rat just walked by you on the subway. That's NEVER okay.

7- A restaurant with a B-rating from the health department is still safe to visit. Considering the A-rating means there were only "minimal" animal droppings in the kitchen, you might want to reconsider.

6- $2500 a month for a 1-bedroom is reasonable. My mother owns a 5-bedroom house in New Jersey that costs less. Get a clue!

5- Riding in the subway car with the conductor is safe. How? THEY might be safe behind the locked door, but you're still ripe for the killing. Get you some mace and a taser!

4- Watered down drinks that cost at minimum $12 is average. SUCKAS!! There's no way in hell I'm getting anything less than FUCKED UP for $12.

3- Going to Central Park = being out in nature. You do realize it's a man-made park, right?

2- A small coffee should cost $5. When the fuck did this become the norm?

1- Times Square is better now without the pimps and hos. Guess what? With all the shit fixed up to accommodate tourists, WE'RE the hos and King Daddy Bloomberg is now our pimp.

*smooches...still in love with this City*
sometimes I'm like, WHY do I put up with the bullshit? then I remember...because we're fucking awesome and you're not. rats and all.