I Swear I Wrote This BEFORE I Saw "The Matrix"

Cover art where my baby dwells

As my part of my now-defunct thesis (let's just call a spade a spade- I don't give two shits about finishing that shit), I wrote a short-short, "On a Blue Day," about a girl and her penchant for uppers and downers who moves back home to attend a funeral. It was just a small experimental piece that was part of an assignment I had at FDU where I had to mimic the writing style of an author I can't remember right now.

But the gist of the assignment was repetition. There had to be an element of the story that kept repeating every few lines, if not every line. So there's a lot of mention of the red uppers and blue downers throughout the barely-two-thousand-word story.

On a deeper level, this story touches upon this girl's continuous habit of self-medication, which at the time was reflecting my own way of handling a crisis- that crisis, of course, being my grandmother's death, which was still painfully fresh in my mind in 2005.

Well this poor baby had been rejected from many a flash fiction contest. I would read it over and over and think What aren't people getting? This is a good fucking story! But alas, editors from here to LA didn't feel the same, until I met a young woman named Hannah Clayman who ran a zine for women in Brooklyn, You Should Be Here. She encouraged me to submit something and, with a few hours left until deadline, I sent off the story. I think she wrote me back the next day to say they "loved(!)" my story, and I was all FINALLY! SOMEONE GETS IT!

So now I can finally add another credit to my name: I've self-published a book on writing, I've been interviewed for a prominent Dominican news source online, and I've published two short stories--one online and one in print.

I say that deserves some fucking Shake Shack and Haagen Dazs this weekend!

*smooches...trying not to rest on my laurels*
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there's still so much I need to do, but I'm enjoying this journey so far.

The Sun Is Out! A New Day Is Here!

The only way I can ever get stuff done is to make lists--on Post-It notes, in notebooks, via StickyNotes on the desktop computer--everywhere I can I keep a list. Besides all of the things I have written out that needs to be done at the office before I go on vacation:

In case you thought I did SHIT ALL during the day

I have some lofty goals moving into the summer, both wellness- and career-wise, and even a few "fun-itiatives" too, and I don't mind sharing some of them here with you today.

1- Develop a few new short stories. I've been stuck on the same set of tales that I wrote for my stupid non-finished thesis and frankly, all of those characters are getting on my last nerve. It's time to move on.

2- Go three entire months of regular training and workouts: yoga, Pilates, dance and MAYBE a week or two of bootcamp. My doctor's main bit of advice after giving me the herniated disc diagnosis was "build up your core strength to avoid further injury." So that's my new mission in life. After the three months it should be old hat, no? I'll just be in the habit of working out and not have to be told? RIGHT?

3- Get back on that freelance horse. So if you have any leads to PAYING gigs, let a sistah know.

4- Update my wardrobe. For too long now I've been rocking my same old fat clothes, even though I've lost the weight. That's right, I'm walking around town looking schleppy every damn day. I guess I've just gotten to the point where I actually care about looking put together. Not fancy or anything, but it would be nice if my clothes fit me properly.

5- Commit to a paleo/primal life. For real. I've been floundering and letting a few setbacks stop me from eating clean all the time. This needs to stop. This will stop. I like my doctor but I'm not fitna put her child through college with my co-pays!

On this beautiful ALMOST spring day, what is on your LIFE TO DO list?

*smooches...longing to frolic in the sun*
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I get like this every spring; LONG LIVE THE SUN!

Get Filled With The Holy Ghost Of Writing, ME!

I told y'all I was booked up this weekend!

Fresh off the heels of a kick-ass appearance at Sycamore Stories in Ditmas Park, I'm ready to lead the congregation this Sunday at the Church of Monika in Park Slope, Brooklyn.

Photo (c) 2012 Marcin Kaliski

You know, there's something that happens to me when I finish speaking to a crowd, whether it be sharing a story or discussing my craft. It's like the buzz you get when you eat a slice of watermelon that's been sitting overnight in a tub of grain alcohol. You know the type of buzz that puts a smile on your face and everything your friends say is AWESOME, and everything the DJ plays is "MY JAM!" and your body moves in a way that makes you think you look like this:

but really, you look like this:

That's how good I feel after most, if not all, of my literary events.

I'm hoping this Sunday is equally satisfying, although it would be better if you all show up, too! And then you can take me to brunch.

*smooches...getting high off my own supply*
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I mean, it's here and so plentiful... why not?

Appearances On Wednesday & Sunday, Stalkers!

This Wednesday (WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAY) I will once again read a bit of magic to some drunk folks at Sycamore Bar in Ditmas Park. Why? Because why not? What else am I going to do on a Wednesday night- wait for someone to say something witty on The Twitter so I can respond and hope a dialogue gets started? I already did that last week. It wasn't all that. I'm ready to move on.

Anyway, if you're in Brooklyn and you like sipping on cheap drinks while listening to snooty wordsmiths tell you some stuff they made up while contemplating whether or not to buy more raisins or more prunes on their next shopping trip, then please, stop on by. I go on at around 9:30.

Then on Sunday (SUNDAY SUNDAY) I'm speaking at the Church of Monika at Open Source Gallery in Park Slope. It's a sort of town hall meeting where I'll discuss my craft and what I feel it brings to my life, my audience and the world. Or something like it.

Sunday, February 24, 11AM

Church of Monika

Open Source

306 17th Street

Brooklyn, NY 11215

I'd love to see you at one or both of these appearances; a lot of you OWE ME THAT MUCH.

*smooches...huss-a-lin erryday*
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If I can just keep busy I'll forget all the bad stuff running through my head

Notes On A Random Wednesday

I just wanted to share a few tidbits with you about me and what I'm thinking right now, if you'll allow the indulgence. (Yeah right- love it or leave it, bitchezzz!)

1- Sometimes, when I'm alone in my apartment or the girls have gone to bed, I put on my favorite matte-ish maroon/burgundy lipstick and watch myself talk in the mirror. I am mesmerized at how great my lips look in this deep red hue. I like to see them forming words, smiling, yawning- the works. I practice cursing people out, flirting, reading out loud and giving speeches or being interviewed. Then I pose for close-up glamour shots.

2- I'm reading tonight at Sycamore Bar in Ditmas Park (1118 Cortelyou Road) and am considering wearing my favorite matte-ish maroon/burgundy lipstick, so that the audience can enjoy the visual as well as my five-minute presentation of greatness. Except I'm wondering if the space is poorly lit, which means people will barely be able to see my lips. And that would suck.

3- Tonight I want to read a reworked piece that was originally going to be my first novel, until I decided that novels are for losers and short stories is where it's at, son! It's the one where the young girl kills her stepmother. I had a daydream about it (that's how I write my stories sometimes, by daydreaming about them) and saw it working so beautifully as a short.

4- I also decided that tonight I'm going to flirt with white boys, and I wonder if my favorite matte-ish maroon/burgundy lipstick and story about an unapologetic and disillusion murderer will turn them off. Also, I wonder if five minutes into a flirting session I'll abandon my mission and seek out the large, black bouncer that I imagine works the door (because usually these hipster bars have a huge black bouncer working the door).

5- My allotted time on stage is sometime between 10 and 10:30, and I'm not sure how I feel about that, given the event starts at 7. It's a school night. And I'm still trying to catch up with "Grey's Anatomy" (currently holding steady at the beginning of Season 6; Izzy just left Karev and the Mercy West folks have infiltrated). That time slot also makes me a bit nervous because I already have enough trouble getting people to attend my events... and who the hell is going to stay FOUR HOURS to hear a bunch of unknowns read some bullshit stories (except mine; mine isn't bullshit, it's AWESOME.) and try to look cool?

Maybe I'll just wear some chapstick and keep to myself like I usually do. This all sounds exhausting and uneccessary.

*smooches...clearly not in the mood for a reading*
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when I sign up for these things they sound like good ideas until the day arrives and all I want is to go home and chill on my sofa.

What Are You Doing Wednesday NIght?

Your answer SHOULD be: "Coming to hear you read in Ditmas Park, Raquel!"

I go on at about 10PM. I understand that this is mighty late on a school night, but it would be so amazing to see some friendly faces in the crowd. I'm not sure what I'm reading just yet, but me and my new fabulously straight-from-the-Dominican-salon hair will be there, reading our little hearts out.

I mean, you'd be there if you loved me. Just saying.

*smooches...gearing up for my first appearance of 2013*
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these hipsters ain't ready for the Great And Powerful Jaded One!