Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Joshua Hates Gmail...And Other Musings

My weekend, the whole unadulterated lazy-ass weekend...

I Can Turn It On As Needed
Yes, I am the Jaded NYer, and YES, I am ultra-mega-to-the-tenth-power independent, RARELY asking for or accepting help from anyone, but every once in a while I have to throw on my "damsel in distress" voice. Like this weekend, when I needed to find a solution to the dead vacuum in my living room. And when I needed that ride to and from the Penzo Cousin baby shower.

It's a gift. I didn't ask for it, but I appreciate and respect its power.

Why Is HR Fucking With Me?
I thought we were past this, ALCOTT GROUP. Yes, I am calling you out, bi-atches, for getting my check wrong AGAIN! Seriously, what kind of Mickey Mouse operation are y'all running over there? Here's a tip: don't play with my money. Like my boy Big Worm said, "Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions..."

My Mom, The Queen Of STANK
On her birthday, Her Majesty took off from work and then ignored all phone calls. So the flowers I ordered for her had to be cancelled because I was unsure of her whereabouts, and I left messages which she did not return.

Finally I hear from Minnie that Her Majesty was upset, that she felt alone even though she has family. Well, my dear, if you'd stop isolating yourself when family and friends are trying to bring you some cheer on your special day, maybe you won't feel so alone... I mean really!!

Now you see where I get it from...

Procrastination Is Contagious
How funny was it that this weekend Mari, Jack and another friend in LA were ALL procrastinating on school projects that were due right away? And no one wanted to do the work! And they want to give me crap about my thesis edits...pu-leese...I ain't even tryna hear it! It'll get done when I get it done! HA!

Joshua Hates Gmail
A lot of you have not met Joshua, my Dell desktop (yes, I named him Joshua...don't ask...), but let me tell you- he is a MOODY BITCH! Remember all those great Gmail features I was going on and on about? Well I can't use them on Joshua because...well who the fuck knows! AND, I had so much trouble using Yahoo Messenger, too! My smiley's aren't smiling and my audibles aren't audible. And really, what's the point of Yahoo Messenger if there's no Sock Puppet audible?

The Penzos Weren't The Problem
So the baby shower... now don't be mad- I didn't take any photos. Just plum didn't feel like it. But I can report that, although I've always thought the Penzos to be a pretty ghetto-fabulous bunch, my cousin's husband's family and friends (as well as my aunt's church friends) took ghetto to the next level!

You tell me: who wears a tight-ass revealing leather dress to a baby shower? Or five inch stilettos in a dress that shows your *gasp* panty-line? And who *WHOOP WHOOPs* shower gifts as if you're at a basketball playoff game? Call me snooty if you want, but I really just cannot associate myself with country-ass Dominicans anymore...

Any gossip, you ask? Well, my one boy cousin is hooked on the ganja (according to what I heard his mom whispering to my mom) and a girl cousin- 18 years old- is 5 months PREGNANT! Child...I tell ya: If it's something a Penzo is known for is havin' babies. And doin' drugs.

*smooches...trying to mask the fact that I still didn't call my doctor*
but in my opinion, if something serious was wrong, he would've called me...