Wednesday, December 05, 2007

In My Dictionary...

Even though I haven't finished my thesis edits and my MFA diploma case remains empty, I'm still THE MASTER OF FINE ARTS, and as such, I have the right to coin new phrases and change the meanings of words at my leisure.

This month's phrase: a truffle nigga/bitch

Definition: You know those stupid heart-shaped boxes of chocolate you find at Duane Reade during February with the assorted fillings? The more popular chocolates, in my experience, are always the cordial cherries, nougat, coconut and caramel.
The ones that always get left behind like the red-headed stepchild of the heart-shaped box of chocolate is the truffle-filled. And you're always fooled when you choose it, because from the outside you could SWEAR it's the caramel-filled...your taste buds are all excited, you start to salivate and then...TRUFFLES! BLECH!!!

Similarly, a truffle nigga or bitch is a male or female, respectively, who fools you with their perfectly delicious looking outer shell, but when you look inside- personality, beliefs, intelligence- it's all BLECH!

How to use it in everyday conversations

Joe: Hey, whatever happened to that girl you met in your photography class? Didn't y'all go out?
Henry: Yeah, man, but she turned out to be just another truffle bitch
Joe: Damn, sorry, bro...

Sally (to her date): you know, I thought you were cool but you ain't nothin' but a truffle nigga!!!!

See? Easy as pie. So ends today's vocabulary lesson.

*smooches...laughing at my own sorry jokes*
but don't over-use it. i don't want it to get played out too soon...