Thursday, May 22, 2008

One Day Left: Minnie Has Some Screws Loose

So my prima-hermana, Minnie, ain't right in the head. I'm just gonna let you know that from jump. And she's going to read this and call me odiosa but WHATEVER, GUR- you know it's true.

Well never has her not-right-in-the-head-ness been more apparent than with her recent actions on two separate occasions.

1- She called me a few weeks back, a little distressed, talking 'bout, "You know the mom from Married With Children? They just found her dead in a hotel room."

ME: Wow, really? Hmm, maybe she was still depressed from that time she lost the baby?
Minnie: Oh, she lost a baby?
ME: Yeah, I read about it in an article
Minnie: Oh... and it's weird because now they're showing CSI, too...


Oh. Never mind.

ME: What?
Minnie: It was an episode of CSI. Never mind. Bye.

That's right folks... she was watching an episode of CSI, guest starring actress Katey Sagal. And thought it was a news report. I can't make this stuff up! This is a blood relative, too, on my MOTHER'S side! *shudder*

2- Last night she calls to relay a funny story, which she knows is dangerous because anything you say or do in front of me WILL end up on this here blog, ya hear? But anyway, her story...

She's helping her friend R with something, and they are on a three-way call with a customer service rep. A Canadian customer service rep.

So when this poor CS rep says the word "about" (pronounced ABOOT in Canada) Minnie gets all giddy and interrupts a business call to tell this CS rep how she and I would watch Degrassi Jr. High as kids, and how much we loved the accents, especially when the characters would say ABOOT or OOT.

Apparently the CS rep was barely tolerating the interruption and finished conducting the business at hand.

THEN, my nutjob cousin, without first verifying that dude had hung up the call, proceeds to tell her friend R in a sing-songy way: "Did you hear him, R? He said OOT and ABOOT. He said OOT and ABOOT." Until the CS rep interrupted her with a "Hello?"

Minnie: um, hello?
CS rep: Hello ma'am? Uh, we're just waiting for you to hang up
Minnie: Oh, um I was just going to get the soy milk... *click*

"I was just going to get the soy milk"??? WHATINTHEHELL? Who says that? And why would he care, seeing as you just proved his theory that NYers are rude and arrogant? What planet is this child from, anyway?

*smooches...waiting patiently for her to read this and then curse me out*
I take my job of "annoying little sister" very seriously...