Tuesday, May 27, 2008

"I Swear The Alarm Never Went Off"

So... part two of the birthday escapades, which I will subtitle, "The Jaded NYer Misses Her Ride To Massachusetts...TWICE" goes as follows.

But first- I'm a lil salty because wack ass Foodtown was out of Oatmeal Teddy Grahams... is it too much to ask for those fools to, I don't know, actually have FOOD on their shelves? I mean, really!

Second, y'all know I have a mild case of OCD, right? Well, I left out two pics from yesterday's post, right, and a normal person would just let it be, because they weren't even that important to the story. But I have a mild case of OCD. So I almost added them in after the fact. But I fought that shit off, man. I will not let OCD take me down! Just thought I'd share.

Third, my professor is still tryna get me to go to Ghana... what the hell?! He's offering to wave tuition for me and offer free or inexpensive housing in Accra if I can fly myself out there. My head sooo wants to explode. I can't think about this right now...

Now back to the post.

You've read about my experiences with the crazy Chinese buses to DC already. But did you know that there are vans that leave from Washington Heights to points north where Dominicans have settled en masse? Like Lawrence, MA, for example? No? "Well if you don't know, now you know, ni**a..."

Yes, Lawrence is a town full of Dominicans like you wouldn't believe. So much so that people from Washington Heights go up there and say, "Damn there are a lot of Dominican's here!" And of course I gots family up there (cause, you know, we're ALL related LOL).

But anyway, I was scheduled to be on the 7AM van to Lawrence, which costs a lil more than the crazy Chinese buses, but is worth it because they leave you right at the doorstep of where you are going.

I got home from hanging with Lani at 3-ish, and decided that I'd not go to sleep. See, it takes about 1.5 hours to get to Da Heightz from my house, and I had to be there at 6:30, so I was going to leave at 4:30. See how sleep didn't fit in there?

Except that the alcohol was weighing me down, plus the fact that I'd only had 3 hours of sleep the night before, and that's when I came up with the bright idea of the hour and a half nap.

[insert hearty, sarcastic laughter here]

At 6:30 the people from the van company called to ask if I was on my way, arousing me from the sweetest nap ever. I asked if I could take the 9AM van instead. He was reluctant but said ok. If I left right then I'd be able to make it... except I fell back asleep for another 40 minutes or so. And did I mention I hadn't packed yet? No? Well, I hadn't packed yet. Or showered. There went the 9AM van...

Nina and I agreed that instead of calling to reschedule yet again with the van people, who by now probably thought I was some air-brained loser, I should just take the crazy Chinese bus into Boston, and she'd pick me up on our way to Cambridge to have dinner with some of her friends.

This actually allowed me to comb my hair, because otherwise I was gonna show up at her door looking straight rasta!

I arrived in Boston without incident- the crazy Chinese bus apparently only causes trouble when heading south- I met up with Nina and we went to Cambridge.

Oh wait- side note- before dinner we stopped in the mall. I bought some undies at Vickey's with my gift card (thanks, E!) and still had loot left on the card. And Nina gave me the iTunes gift card I had hinted at...I've already got like 10 new songs on my play list.

Here's one of them for you now. A free gift from me. Thank me later.

We ate at the Cheesecake Factory, and here's where I tell you that I've never been to this fine dining establishment, so I was not aware that the plates were twice the size of my head. Color me shocked when my dish came...

The best part of that meal? Nina's friends thought I was turning 19, maybe 20.


But, uh, *side eye* for Nina's friends... If y'all thought I was 19 WHY did you let me order a martini?? Hmph!

I know, I know, you're all like, "Enough with the yapping! Where are the pics?"

I only have a few from that night. It was during and after our stay at The Greatest Bar in Boston, where the Celtic fans were in full effect, the hoochies were booty-shaking in their undies and ripped fishnet stockings and the DJ poured a free shot of I-don't-know-what down my throat. The same DJ who flashed this on the big screen after the ball game ended:

And why did I "woohoo" that?? I need Jesus...

This one of Nina and her new fiance, Papi Smurf (I swear to GOD- he had that tattooed across his chest; said his grandmama used to call him that!), an aspiring ball player who said he'd probably fall back on "pharmaceutical sales" if he couldn't make it in the Italian Basketball League.

Nina and I were of the thought that perhaps, just maybe, he was already in pharmaceutical sales. Perhaps.

And this one is of me with the most awesomest sign in the world:

I just HAD to own it! Just picked it up off the street and took it with me without missing a drunken step. Silly me left it in Nina's trunk, but she promised to keep it safe for me.

But trust that I didn't need any help in the "drunk" department:

I was already there!

Since Boston is NOT NYC, everything was closing by 2AM, so we headed home... shortly after I danced with the tallest bouncer in the history of bouncers. I think I've actually found someone who was TOO TALL and I didn't think that was possible! Basically, if I'm gonna get a crook in my neck just to look you in the face? You're too tall.

Learn something new everyday.

*smooches...saving my tale of love and loss with a rasta bass player for tomorrow*
in other news, I haven't watched my Soul Food DVDs in a hot minute... I'm craving me some Boris Kodjoe like you wouldn't believe!