Wednesday, July 01, 2009

"Freedom Is Just Another Word For Nothing Left To Lose"

BEFORE WE GET TO THE POST: good people of blogland, show some love to my girl Celia who's celebrating a birthday down in lovely, lovely Key West!!!

NO is a powerful thing. And ever since I stopped doing the horizontal Watusi last spring, decided I had it up to "here" with my job and encountered my latest in a long line of money troubles, NO has become a sort of new BFF. I think I'm entering a phase in my life where my answer to everything is "Fuck all you hos" so don't be all verklempt next time I turn you down.

As in:

NO I cannot help you figure out Photoshop because I am not Tech Support- they make way more money than I do- I'm only the staff writer, and there is such a thing called HELP attached to the Adobe software. If you want me to be Tech Support then pay me more.

NO I cannot hang out after work at that fancy place because I have $20 to my name until my next payday which also happens to be rent week so yeah, these $20 have to last.

NO I will not give you my phone number just because our friends think we should date because the reality is I don't find you attractive, I don't want you to call me and my Netflix movies excite me more than the thought of you.

NO I didn't invite you over while the babies were gone for Spring Break because you tend to behave inappropriately no matter how many times I ask you to stop and I'll be damned if I'm going to feel uncomfortable in my own apartment.

NO I will not come over anymore because I always trick myself into thinking "This time will be different; this time he'll make me fall in love with him" and instead I leave abruptly longing for a time machine.

NO I will not even acknowledge your phone calls or emails or IMs. Can you just go away? The days of me pining over you are soooooo 1986.

And I can't even tell you how freeing it is...

Me And Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin

*smooches...thinking the only thing I really can't say no to is blogging*
what is this HOLD that Blogger has over me? why can't I quit you, Blogger? WHY???