Friday, July 17, 2009

"Just Don't Treat Me Like I Am Something That Happened To You"

Friends, Romans, countrymen, permit me to get some angryness off my chest real quick...

I hate nothing more on this planet than for people to not tell me when they have an issue with me. I've been guilty of doing the same to others, but whatever, I hate it lots and lots when it's done to me.

If, for whatever reason, your feelings for me have changed, it would have been nice to hear that from your lips. And in this technologically advanced world, honestly, I would have even accepted a text, IM or email. Hell, even Berger had the "decency" to give Carrie the infamous Post-It note.

It's the guessing games, backstabbing and radio silence that just isn't right.

Could this be payback for the times I've done it to others? Probably. But it still feels like shit and I'm not sure I deserve it. In fact, I know I don't. I worked so hard to evict Depression and in one swift non-move you invited it back. I know that after I'm done sulking and crying and isolating myself from you I will be fine because I've done it before and frankly, I don't have a choice. I still have a life to lead, a career to salvage and kids to raise. And in the end you will just be a footnote in the book of my life.

For now, though, please excuse me as I drown myself in some Ani DiFranco, work, sun-bathing, cheesy movies and back issues of Martha Stewart Living.

* in the notion that I still have real friends in this world*
And as I write this, I'm watching Hav Plenty with a big ol smile on my face (HAVILAND: Lee, how come you've never tried to kiss me? LEE: Because you have psychological problems), so my world isn't all shitty all the time. this is all temporary and I know it.

PS- this song, Adam & Eve, is the one that inspired the tattoo on my back, with its lyric: "I just happen to like apples and I'm not afraid of snakes"

Don't you just LOVE IT?!?!