Sunday, July 12, 2009

"Why Don't You Just Take Your Bow Cuz Who's Gonna Love You Now?"

Listen, you guys, I love you all to death, really I do. But I've been living my life online for almost three years now and I'm starting to think it might be a major contributor to my unhappiness.

Sure it's great to have a place to vent, but I miss that my venting place used to be a journal and that my successes and failures used to be private and only available to a chosen few. Like, since when did I get so vain that I had to record every minute of my life for an audience?

Even worse- my fingers have almost forgotten how to even hold a pen and I cannot accept that.

Usually I take one or two week breaks to get my mind right, but this time I don't need the break just a new start. I've made a tough decision- from now on The Jaded NYer will be a private blog, closed off the the general public and only available to my closest friends and subscribers- the original intended audience. I've already shut down my Twitter account and am really debating on whether or not to get rid of Facebook, but this blog, with three years' worth of blood sweat and tears written all over it, I just couldn't delete... there's no way I could just erase it all.

It has really been amazing writing for you, getting to know you, reading and responding to your comments and reading a lot of your blogs, too. But this is not my world. And even if it is, I don't want it to be my world anymore. It's just not for me.

Maybe I'm just upset right now and I'll change my mind and open up for the public after I've figured out my life, but for now consider this my swan song.

Arrivederci tutti!

What How When Where (Why Who) - Ani DiFranco

*smooches...entering a new phase of my life that does not include all of you*
that sounded incredibly harsh; it's not meant as a dis, just trying to cleanse myself and begin anew as best I can. I wish you all the best in the world, every happiness you've ever dreamed of... I want it for you... so please know that I'm just chasing after mine