Tuesday, June 21, 2011

"Just Because You Are...So Beautiful...": A Love Letter To Writer's Block

First, let me say that I don't know why this kid isn't more famous. Fuck the music industry if this dude doesn't have someone releasing his albums every two days. I need more Brett Dennen in my life. MORE. BRETT. DENNEN.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way...

I've been living as if all the ink in all of pens is gone because I've written nan one word of original fiction since, oh, maybe January. As if the coffers are empty, the well has run dry, the literary lights are on but no one cares to come home and tell their tales.

I suppose I've filled the reading and writing void in my life with exercise because that's what I do- when I'm avoiding one thing I become 100% obsessed and focused on something else so that I can look people in the eye and lie. "I wish I had time to write but in between boot camp and Pilates and soca class I just can't find the time anymore." That's my new schpiel.

But deep down I know it's not true, and while I'm kinda okay with not telling you everything, it's really hard to look at myself in the mirror and get away with such word vomit. Eventually I see my reflection and am repulsed. It's hideous, gory, filthy. Because it dares lie to me with the very words I gifted it.

And I'm not that person. I'm beautiful because I have this thing in me that takes the English alphabet and configures it in such a way that even I sit back and say, "Wow. Who wrote this?" But I've been too SOMETHING to do it lately.

I need a change of scenery. A change of pace. Something new to look at and experience and be a part of. I have to wake up and put on my face, the one that knows how to entice a story out of a character from a world just outside my reach. Maybe even travel back to a time when I felt I had something new to contribute to the written word.

A time when I knew the way to San Jose...

*smooches...still trying to find some balance*
things just aren't right. it's like "right" is just there, around the corner, but every time I get close it takes off to another unreachable corner of my mind :(