Friday, May 27, 2011

Arguments In My Head

I'm not a very violent or confrontational person (no really!), but on occasion I've been known to go off. Like the incident in the ladies' room at work with the paper towel dispenser:

And that time I cursed at the computer because TravelZoo offered me a deal for a "glacier walk" in Iceland and I responded with, "Your MOMMA is going on a glacier walk!" before rolling my eyes and closing the browser.

But the kicker was the argument I had with my neighbor's car.

See, my neighbor was one of those Family Radio people who swore The Rapture was coming last Saturday, and it was nearly six months ago when I first noticed all the bumper stickers on their minivan advertising the end of the world. One sticker in particular set me off, partly because the entire doomsday message was fucking with my head and reminded me of my own mortality, and partly because of the arrogance of it all. It read: Noah knew, why can't we?

To that I burst out with a viciously attitudinal: BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!

Because I mean really- who the fuck did they think they were?

*smooches...ready to start meditating again*
no one likes an AngryJaded. well, except maybe you guys... I know how much you live for my rants...