Tuesday, May 17, 2011

36 Soon Come: How Long?

When I turned 30, I was happily separated from my husband waiting for my divorce to be final and looking forward to all of the debauchery I was going to participate in now that I was no longer tied to THAT MAN. I didn’t want a relationship, just big fun. Who knew my mind would change so drastically a mere six years later?

I’d do it all again in a heartbeat, y'all- marriage, babies, all of it. BUT I’ll be 36 on Monday. How long ‘til husband? How long ‘til baby? My girly parts are on their last legs, too, so can I even trust them to give me healthy babies? Because honestly, I’m not selfless enough to raise a sick child. I’m just not.

With every new gray hair I find I lament that my prime baby-making years were wasted on THAT MAN. I mean, I got some good babies from him BUT I’d have a lot more had he not been, well, HIM. A better marriage would have found me pregnant (and keeping the babies) lots more than just twice. I regret all that time I wasted with him.

Back to the matter at hand, I’m not over my baby fever. I’m not so in your face with it because no one wants to be around the grown-ass woman with baby fever, but it’s there. And it’s probably why I turn down the suitors who approach me. None of them are the husbands or fathers I see in my dreams.

Who is he? Child, your guess is as good as mine. Will he want babies, and can I still have them? *le sigh* I suppose that's a bridge I'll cross if and when I get there. Hopefully sooner than later.

Nothing would please me more than to write a blog post titled, "I Said YES!" and then another titled "Jaded Part THREE Is On Its Way!" So those of y'all with a direct line to the powers the be put in an order for a husband + babies (yes, plural) for me. Thanks!

*smooches...writing this of sound mind and body*
I swear I wasn't delirious when I wrote this LOL