You can read pt. 1 here and pt. 2 here.
So already we established that I was a lazy whale who was eating everything in sight and gaining weight at about a pound per minute. That all lead to me going to the doctor to get all manner of physicals and enrolling in boot camp fitness sessions. Great. That was going to handle part of the problem.
What I still had to deal with was the reason I allowed myself to get here in the first place: I was trying to solve all my problems by self-medicating with food (a topic I will delve into later. Be patient.).
Basically, I need to address the emotional triggers that cause me to overeat and remain inactive. Like being overwhelmed with chores (the girls need to chip in more) and worrying about money (gotta get back on my budget) and over extending myself in general.
And I have to align myself with like-minded people, those who will understand when I choose not to drink or partake of deep fried stuff or staying out late because I have to workout in the early morning.
And of course, I need to finish my thesis, finish my book and light a fire under my writing career. This feeling of failure I hold on to is probably one of the biggest poisons in my life. And the anecdote is just to get in there and write my fingers to the bone.
To help with all this, I enlisted the help of a professional- holistic health counselor Marian Isel Barragán. Initially I just wanted help with my eating, but it turns out she works to ensure your overall health. Just what I was looking for!
To date, she's had me articulate and write down my ideal life, what I'd like to change and why and all that good stuff, and bit-by-bit we're tackling the huge mess my life has become. The bonus is she's Latina and not as scary as a shrink, so I feel confident working with her to straighten myself out.
I'm still scared of all the changes I'm undertaking, but excited, too. For the first time in a long time I feel like the things I want are really for real accessible to me. I can feel the changes happening. It feels great.
Just...too bad I waited this long to go on this journey, seeing as The Rapture is this Saturday... *sad face*
*smooches...quietly marching on*
failure isn't an option this time. for real.