Monday, November 12, 2007

What Did I Say?...And Other Musings

My weekend in seven parts...

It's Good To Be A Girl
Sure, I hate my menstrual cycle and reproductive organs with the strength of a thousand football players on steroids, but sometimes being a girl has its advantages. Like being able to convince someone to trek all the way from Manhattan to your South BK apartment, in the rainy cold weather, to bring you ice cream and rub your back. Just because you had a bad day. Let's just say I'm a little drunk with power right now...

Bank of America...You F*$@ing Bastards!
So my Visa check card was cancelled on Friday...something about security protocol after a third party notified the bank that my card information had been stolen/compromised. Mhmm. So while I appreciate the security measure, WHEN WAS SOMEONE GOING TO TELL ME? Why did I have to find out the hard way that my card had been shut off? This is strike two with this more and I'm OUT!

Went Down Like Whiskey!
Saturday night at Lani's friend's housewarming, I drank some coconut rum liquor that seriously tasted like it was 1 part coconut milk, 1 part rum and 10 parts turpentine! I had to wash it down with some Bailey's, a sliver of the "Brown Magic" brownies and a few glasses of bubbly. My esophagus will NEVER be the same!

The Booty Call From Hell
Remember that ex I ran into on the way home from work a few weeks ago? Well he and I had made tentative plans to grab a coffee or something one day after work or over the weekend. You know, to catch up. So please explain to me how he translated "a coffee or something one day after work or over the weekend" into "let me call Raquel at 3AM and see what she's up to" WTF, dude? Are you seriously booty-calling me? Do you not remember that we ended BADLY? That I hated your guts? And you're BOOTY-CALLING ME?? You must be out yo' god damned mind

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
As a favor to my mom, I helped one of her friends from church edit a children's story she was working on; lovely woman she was... Everything was cool and I gave her some editorial suggestions that should help her story flow better, then she gave me a ride home. And invited me to some church function in December. To which I STUPIDLY replied: "Thanks, but I don't do church." What the hell was I thinking? She immediately went into her "Jesus is the way" sales pitch, and while I can respect that FOR HER church was the answer, I can't understand why she can't understand that it's not the answer FOR ME...

What Did I Say?
I swear- the MILLISECOND that I posted the blog about being smitten for Navy Guy, it all, come on, say it with me now folks, blew up in my face. So now I have to swallow my pride and admit that what I thought were butterflies was nothing more than lusty animalistic urges. And now they have passed and I can move on with my life like nothing ever happened. So just forget I ever mentioned him. And I'll try and forget his sexy tattooed arms and ripped abs...okay, this isn't working...

I Didn't Quit
A friend convinced me to not storm out of my job last week, especially since I didn't have a plan B. Good advice, I admit, but now I'm still stuck in that stink hole when all I want is to stay in bed in my flannel pajamas...can I get an AMEN??

* done with everything it's not even funny!*
I really should just realize that I'm not the relationship type...