Friday, November 16, 2007

Dick and Jane Have An Affair?: A Totally (Maybe) Fake Story

Here's a lil bedtime story I wrote to hold ya'll over until Monday...
Dick and Jane used to go out.

Dick ended the relationship, but he and Jane remained friends.

Occasionally, Dick and Jane hung out and still flirted and maybe hooked up, but nothing serious.

Months after the break-up, Dick and Jane decided to JUST BE FRIENDS for real, no extracurriculars period. Jane moved Dick into the "friend" category and moved on. Dick met a new girl and embarked on a serious relationship with her.

Jane was a little sad, but accepted it and remained friends with Dick. They sent sporadic messages from time to time to stay in touch.

A year later, after Jane wrote Dick an email to say she had a birthday gift for him- a simple CD of a band they both liked that she was going to burn- he called to say thanks.

During that phone call, Dick also asked if Jane was involved with anyone. To which Jane jokingly replied, "I'm involved with everyone," or something similar.

Then Dick proceeded to travel that dangerous road: Memory Lane. Dick talked about the good ole days with Jane. Jane offered only comic relief, only KINDA wanting to remember those days.

It eventually came out that Dick was happy with his new relationship, but a little bored. Jane knew where Dick was going with his story, but played dumb.

Dick then came straight out and propositioned Jane: would she sleep with him behind his girlfriend's back.

Jane, being the stupid, stupid, STUPID bitch that she is, replied: "Sober Jane will have to say no." Dick understood her meaning completely.

Dick and Jane agreed to touch base later in the week when he'd come by her job for his CD. Jane was left feeling confused and torn, yet intrigued.

Jane also wondered what it was about her that made Dick, and a slew of other exes, return to her after it has all been said, done and over.

Jane looked in the mirror and got her answer...she had a sign on her forehead...

some story critics have stated that perhaps Jane's exes come back because Jane has the ill na-na; others think that Dick is just being the typical Dick...but can it be that basic?