Monday, November 26, 2007

Stuff Is On My Mind

Lady Estrogen is due for her monthly, tortuous visit, so it makes sense that certain things have been heavy on my mind lately. Not anything major, or new for that matter, but just stuff that the voices have been clamoring around about for that past four days.

I Might Be Seriously Ill
Most of you will probably say whatever I have at this point I may very well deserve because I didn't go to the doctor when I first felt symptoms and pains. And I will have to absolutely agree with you 100%. I'm stubborn, hard-headed, bratty, etc, and if I drop dead on the street tomorrow from something that was probably treatable when it was first developing THREE YEARS AGO, I will have totally deserved it. You're all excused from attending my funeral.

Budget? What Budget?
My mom would probably wash her hands of me completely if she knew how far off budget I've gone. And after all her hard work to get me on track, too. But, like with everything else, I keep thinking if I ignore it, it will go away (see above). But it hasn't worked with the pain in my lower abs, so chances are Sallie Mae ain't tryna hear it, neither.

Thesis? What Thesis?
All that boasting and cooning it up about being THE MASTER OF FINE ARTS, and what do I do after graduation? Drag my ass on the revisions. Why? Because things didn't go my way. And because of that stupid and ill-advised Netflix subscription...I should really cancel that ish...

I Have No Patience. Period.
I don't want to tag along with you on the phone while you run errands. I don't want to hear the complete and unabridged history of why your memory is super-peachy-keen. And I really, truly, madly, deeply DO NOT want to hear your thoughts on the Bible and its teachings. Plus I don't care to hear your argument on why that Soulja Boy song is genius NOR do I want to know the inner-workings of your brain. I don't want to wait for the next available representative and I most certainly DO NOT want to sit around between the hours of 8:00AM and MIDNIGHT for your service guy to install my shit.

Unless I asked for any of these things specifically, don't offer it up or else...

...And Now I'm Over Him
I no longer mourn THE BREAKUP HEARD 'ROUND THE WORLD...I think I finally found the cure: realizing that he's not the great man I built him up to be. Oh, he was great to ME, but his behavior since the break-up (not towards me, mind you) has been less-than-stellar. And rather disappointing. He revealed the man behind the curtain. There are no more stars in my eyes about him. I'm done wallowing. Now I can move on.

I AM Worth The Wait(.com)
It took a staggering HIV statistic in the Washington Post mentioned by a fellow blogger to open my eyes: Sex Is Dangerous! People die from it. And it's NOT 100% safe no matter how you do it! People lie about their past, habits and cleanliness...seems to me that those Jesus Freaks and their abstinence schpiel are on the right track. Not that my body is a temple for Jesus or anything...GOD, no! I wouldn't let Jesus live in this broken-down, enchilada-and-hot-sauce filled cesspool of a body for all the Pringles in Wal-Mart! But maybe, just maybe it's worth more than a few drinks, a handful of pretty words, sexy, tattooed arms and great lips.

Maybe We Need Some Time Apart?
It has been a tumultuous two-year relationship I've been having with NYC- the men, the housing, the crappy prices at the local Foodtown- and I'm starting to think that what I used to really love about this City was being gone for a couple of years and then coming back with wide-eyes and wonder. I haven't made any concrete decisions- I'm still convinced that my writing career can only take off from here- but the thought of leaving again is there, lingering in the back of my mind.

*smooches...on the verge of so many changes that the voices are all panicky and confused*
...but don't worry, I'm still as jaded and filled with vices as ever...