Friday, October 30, 2009

Today I Will (10/30/09)

I'm back again with another activity from "Enjoy Life and Be Happy in 30 Seconds," the book Irene bought for me this summer. If you don't know what I mean you can take a peek at previous posts here and here.

Activity #3: Today I will forgive someone who has hurt me.

This particular activity is asking us to let go of resentment and lighten our emotional load. Suggestions included a face-to-face meeting, a phone call or a handwritten letter. It specifies that you are not forgiving the act, just setting "...yourself free from negativity, bitterness and anger."

I was iffy on this one. When I started to think of the people that I feel hurt by there wasn't a very huge list. I already mended a friendship last week, so that just leaves... Mami and William R. Penzo.


I'm not ready to deal with Mami; she's going through some shit right now and the last thing she needs is for me to bother her with old crap. Therefore...ugh... William R. Penzo it is. It hurt me to think that my own dad was not a part of my life even though he lived like FIVE BLOCKS away. Maybe he did me a favor, seeing as he wasn't always on the best side of the law, who knows? Still, the little girl in me is hurt by that and feels rejected and unloved.

But that little girl is also holding the grown up in me back. Nothing can change what happened, and I have a GREAT dad in Papi.

Then again, by me bringing this up isn't it just going to fuck up his day? How is THAT helpful? And what if he wants to talk to me and shit? Will I have to then have an actual conversation with him? I HATE THIS BOOK!

I hear freedom is a wonderful thing, though. And I'm no wuss...

William R. Penzo, I forgive you.

Should I mail it, y'all?

*smooches...thinking this was the wrong week to do this exercise*
ahh, what the hell... I'm gonna mail it!