Tuesday, January 27, 2009

New Crush Alert: CNN Hotties Don Lemon & TJ Holmes

But first, it's Tuesday, so you know I have to remind you to check out the podcast of my show from last night: Artist Spotlight w/LeVar Thomas on Monday Musings. Take a listen; he's a talented cat, for real!

And now... the post...

I'm sitting in the airport in Chicago, poisoning my body with w 3 piece chicken strip meal from McDonald's, waiting to get home from Vegas, and I happen to look up at the TV screen... guess what I saw?

This elegant hunky-hunk right here:

Um, HELLO?!?! Why didn't anybody TELL me CNN had cuties with brains? I would've been watching the news like a crack fiend every-freakin-day! I don't even usually go for the nerdy, Carlton Banks types, but something about the way he looks in the camera makes me thinks he's a bit of a freak in the bedroom... just my type!

So I'm telling Mari about Don and then she's like, "NO; you have to see the other dude." You know who? THIS dude:



Ask Mari- I actually lost my ability to form complete sentences at that point.

I mean, I need a job at CNN, like right now. Can you imagine the naughty-hot-times I can have behind the news desk with these two Hottie McHottertons?

And I know some of you heifers reading this knew of both of them and have been holding out... I see you... it's like that, huh? Just gonna hide the sexy dudes from your girl... I see how it is...

Now, when I saw Don on-screen at the airport there was no sound on the TV, so I wasn't able to drool over him 100%- I couldn't add him to my laminated list of dudes I'd have babies for without actually hearing him speak... it was the only way to get the full fantasy materialized in my brain. And same with TJ- the pics were hot, true, but I needed a voice.

So I went online, e-stalked and YouTubed them:

and now... mission accomplished... my imagination took off and it was hella sweet.

(queue music)

What happens next, unfortunately, I cannot share because as much shit as I like to talk on this site, you and I both know this is not THAT KIND of blog... you'll need to use your imagination (like I did) to think up some of the sweatiest, acrobatic and jungalistic, threesome activities ever, and then turn it up a notch, and that's what happened. Period.

And with that I had to bump Lenny Kravitz from the number 5 spot on my crush list since I already have a half-black, half-Jewish rocker with crazy hair on there who I've loved for longer (Slash), and had Mr. Lemon & Mr. Holmes share the spot. Welcome to my world, kind sirs; you're in good company...

*smooches...fanning myself, trying not to sweat my edges out*
damn you, lemon! got me watching CNN n shit... ugh!

PS- Lenny, please don't be mad at me; you're in good company, too, on the alternates' list with Johnny Depp, Marcus Patrick, Jason Mamoa and Morris Chestnut. It's all good.

I'd also like to take a minute to induct Domenik Hixon, Troy Polamalu and Larry Fitzgerald to the list of athletes who make me moist. Yum, fellas, Y-U-M!!!