Thursday, January 15, 2009

In Poland, I'm A Superstar!

Ok, maybe not exactly a superstar per se, but I have (a) fan(s) in Poland that reads this blog on the regular. Comrade, I don't know who you are, and you don't have to say who you are, but thanks for stopping by!

After reading this Bangs and a Bun post in which she greeted her lurkers/readers, I remembered that HEY! I have sitemeter, too... so I checked it out and guess what? A LOT of people read this drivel I post. Amazing, huh?

I didn't know I was so popular *POSES, smiling with eyes* but I appreciate the love. I get those sitemeter reports from time to time and I see the numbers, but I figure it's high because *I* visit my own damn blog so much (looking for typos n shit like an anal-retentive lunatic) on a daily basis.

But the numbers don't lie- you like me... you really, really like me!!


So not including my 22 loyal friends/family/subscribers, my 35 randomly anonymous RSS feed subscribers, my lovely blog family and the U.S. lurkers from Potsdam to New Orleans, I have international readers from: Romania, England, Australia, Georgia (yes, THAT Georgia... aren't they busy with a war or something?), Canada (hey Muireanne!), Sweden, Venezuela, Germany (Hey, Sophia!), France, Poland and Greece.

You know what's really incredible? All of those international readers can read in English (not including Canada, Australia and England, which already speak English), but I can't read/speak/understand many of their respective languages. Sad, isn't it?

People across the water are much more prepared for this global environment we're living in than Americans. We're debating on whether English should be the official national language and kids in Europe are learning languages left and right while our kids worship Blue's Clues and other such nonsense. BOOOO to us for being so narrow-minded.

The next person who screams "SPEAK ENGLISH!" to a foreigner in the streets or in a restaurant or whatever, including myself ('cause I'm guilty of that shit, too), is gonna get smacked in the back of the neck by yours truly's inner BIOTCH. I think that's fair warning... why don't YOU speak French? Or Arabic? Mhmm... siddity-ass Americans...

Now, please excuse me while I go hand over my paycheck to the Berlitz Language Company, so I can properly address my international audience...

In the meantime, please enjoy this lil gift from me to you; another tale from my manuscript:

Fresh Bruises, Part 1
Fresh Bruises, Part 2

*smooches...for all the readers everywhere*
for the Frenchies: Bienvenue y merci pour visiter ma page. Ne soyez pas réservés; sejournez un peu de temps!

for my Polskis: Dzieki, ze wpadles. Czuj sie jak u siebie w domu.

and for the S. American crowd: muchisimas gracias por visitar mi blog! no seas timido- estas en su casa... buen' 'provecho!

(those are the only languages I could work with right now... don't be mad at me Romania, Sweden and Georgia!)