Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Your Grandparents Had A Lot Of Sex...And Other Shit That Will Fuck Up Your Day

>>The 12-grain bread you love so much, the one that was supposed to keep you healthy, is loaded with sugar.

>>Your hotel room's previous occupants did unspeakable things on the bed you're sleeping in. And in the shower. And on the mini fridge.

>>Under the right circumstances, your pet WOULD kill you and then eat your face off before someone can discover your mauled body.

>>Your grandparents had a lot of sex when they were your age, and the longer they live the more likely you are to find out about it. Or hear it happening in the next room.

>>There's a whiskey-flavored lubricant on the market called Whiskey Dick. *crosses Dark & Stormy off favorite drink list*

*smooches...wishing I didn't know any of this*
unfortunately I can't un-hear what's already been said *sad face*