I left the house and said to myself, "I'm gonna have a great night out! I'll only have a couple of drinks. I'm Healthy Jaded now, and Healthy Jaded doesn't do shots or Irish car bombs or grain alcohol-soaked fruit. Healthy Jaded is mature and cares about her liver's well-being." Everything was super cool. I had dinner with my family, one tiny tequila shot and lots of water. And I looked amazing!
|I'm sexy and I know it!|
|That hookah was laced!|
|The cab-hair struggle is REAL|
|Legs were done at this point...|
|...but notice how shapely they are, though!|
|Yes, I slept on my kitchen floor. And your point is?|
*smooches...another year older but none the wiser*
next year I'm renting a cottage at the Vineyard and calling it a day!