Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Hi, I’m Jaded, And I’m Really 41.8yrs Old!

That is, according to RealAge.com…those bastards!

On a whim I went on that blasted site and took their little survey, just out of curiosity. Little did I know I was about to get my feelings hurt. Now mind you, I don’t have a problem with aging. When people are rude enough to ask my age I always give it correctly and without hesitation: 35. I have gray hair I don’t really cover up and body-wise…ummm, let’s just say gravity and childbirth and French fries have had their way with me and call it a day!

But even though I know I don't really take care of myself as I should, I was surprised as all hell to find my "Real Age" was damn near 42! AAACK! That's older than my old ass ex-husband!

Look at what they claim is aging me:

Can you believe this hot ghetto madness? I swear this site must be maintained by the same "fine" people of WebMd, because all of a sudden I want to drink some Windex while watching every sad and depressing movie ever made!

I just... I just really can't go on anymore. I'm a fat, lazy, out of shape and nutrient deficient old lady. Just give me a pine box and call it a day.

*smooches...with three slices of pizza on my plate*
this pity party was brought to you by RealAge.com, loneliness, boredom and, oh yeah, lack of vitamin E and folic acid...