Tuesday, August 25, 2009

What It's Like To Be A Writer (Like Me)

Sometimes, it's a simple sentence that will resonate in my head, that will fascinate me so much that from it will arise a paragraph. And from that paragraph, a scene. And I'll sit back with that scene, playing it on a loop over & over again in my head, until somewhere along the fifth or sixth take The Voices will get it right.

Sometimes, it's a dream so vivid that I cannot deny its existence. The dream begs to be written down with its bizarre circumstances and troubling cast of characters. Whether it's the Mob chasing me or Grandma overfeeding me (right before I became pregnant with N, mind you) my dreams explode onto the page almost completely out of my control, hands cramping and stained with ink.

Sometimes it's a memory that won't go away. A wrong that I cannot right unless I deliver it to FictionLand. A memory that gets so twisted up in my head that I cannot recall if it's true or made up. Within the story I am relieved of my guilt, I can be the White Knight and all is right (whether or not it needed to be righted in the first place).

And sometimes A story is born from the what ifs that linger in my mind. What if I'd done that line of coke with those Klan Alpine brothers? What if I'd lost my virginity at 13? What if I'd never moved upstate and attended St. John's as an undergrad instead? Who would I be? What would I be doing? All of this serve as fodder for my creative meanderings.

That is the point when pen meets paper. And so ferociously so that I cannot ever have enough pens nor enough paper by my side.

My journey from concept to completed tale changes daily. It's like taking a different train every day to get to Times Square. Sometimes I may even use a writing prompt (because even MASTERS OF FINE ARTS could use a little push in the right direction) and sometimes I'll read and read or watch hours upon hours of movies & scripted television programming until I find my inspiration. Sometimes, being around other writers will do the trick.

But in the end, all roads lead to genius, as evidenced here. It is why you keep coming back, Monday thru Friday, to see what else I could possibly have to say. It is why I haven't stormed out of my meager job even though I loathe it. And it is why I cannot give up this dream: you WILL see my books on the shelves and you WILL be lining up to get your copy autographed.

"So it is written, so shall it be done."

*smooches...wondering why I let you in my brain so much*
maybe it's because it sucks being the only sane one in here... these damn Voices are NUTS!