Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Back In The (Twitter) Saddle Again

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I went back to Twitter. What of it?


Seriously! I have way more fun on Twitter than I do on FB. Sad, I know. I should be having way more fun outside or in my bedroom (CHEA... riiiiiiight!) than I am online but fuck it- it is what it is (UGH! I swore I'd never use that phrase...). Plus that Mafia Wars bullshit... Look, I SUCK at all and every video-type game I've ever attempted in my life. I don't know WHY I thought Mafia Wars would be any different. So yeah I had to stop playing.

I'm being smarter about it, though, because I DID NOT add it to my phone and I WILL NOT add it to my phone. So basically if I'm not at a computer you will not "see" me on Twitter. It has helped my addiction recovery tremendously. My productivity still sucks ass, but that's a post for another day.

My return was not uneventful, though, and because of it I am thoroughly and unequivocally convinced that Twitter is manned by ROBOTS. Evil, human-hating, plotting, Al-Qaeda ROBOTS! You heard it here first!

Case in point:

When you cancel a Twitter account, the ROBOTS inform you that should you choose to return there is the possibility of reactivating your deleted account. Sounds cool, right? WRONG!

If, like me, you reactivate your account, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. First, it asks you to change your username & email attached to the account, so I did it, but I really wanted to keep mine so then I changed it back.

Then after a couple of days I noticed all my followers & the people I was following disappeared. I figured AWESOME! I GET TO START FROM SCRATCH!

WRONG AGAIN, Col. Sanders... As I went about the business of re-adding my peeps a strange thing happened... I got locked in at following 26 people and only 15 followers. Meaning I was not allowed to follow more than 26 people and no matter how many times I approved new followers no more than 15 were being let through. WTF, TWITTER?

Like any normal human being I went to the HELP section to try and find answers, sent in a help request and waited patiently. I DID THIS FOUR TIMES AND GOT THE SAME AUTOMATED RESPONSE EACH TIME WHICH DID NOT HELP ME AT ALL.

Finally, out of ideas and with nowhere to turn, I had to say goodbye to my Twitter account- and all 13,000 updates- for good and open a new one. A completely new one. Blank slate n shit. All past genius just dust in the wind.

And for what? Because a bunch of DAMN ROBOTS wanted to teach me a lesson about impulsivity and temper tantrums and thinking my decisions through thoroughly before executing them? Well FUCK YOU, TWITTER ROBOTS! I'm onto you and your evil plans of world domination... don't think I'm NOT!

*deep cleansing breaths*

In the meantime, if you USED TO follow me please be aware that you do not anymore. I have a new account. It's the same name ( but a new account nonetheless. It's not that I'm being "quiet" it's that you're not following me. Feel free to re-add me and if I like you I will approve your request.

If I don't... hey, wait a minute... how'd you even get access to this blog? SECURITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*smooches...trying to have patience w/social networking sites*
seriously, tho- how BORING is facebook, huh?? HUH??