Monday, August 17, 2009

Out From Under __________

What a peaceful, lazy-boned, movie-watching, party-having, event-attending week I had sans blogger (and many a night, sans underwear- YO! I've heard it say that Hell is Hot but CLEARLY you've never been to my apartment in August. CLEARLY. It's clothing optional up in this bitch FOR REAL).

I can't say it was particularly productive because it wasn't. I am, however down a few more pounds so that's cool. I'm even seriously considering going back to the gym to ride this weight loss head start all the way to the finish line, which happens to be a mere 5lbs away. YUP. You read correctly: I'M 5LBS AWAY from where I want to be, so all I have to do is lose 10lbs and then build up muscle mass, improve my cardiovascular health and overall endurance/strength. Sounds like a plan, right? I thought so. Don't hate.

But I can say that I haven't shed a "woe is me" tear since before Boston so that is progress, no? I mean I did cry per se but LISTEN- I dare you to watch someone's dad breakdown into sobs during an intervention and not cry... cold-hearted bastards...

And how have I managed to not sink deeper into the depths of despair, you might ask? Easy. By getting text messages like these:

JACK: "You're a great person, Deidre, but you're an asshole." -lesbian fight outside bar

ME: LMAO! And what did Deidre say?

JACK: "I know. I know." -Deidre


JACK: lololol. Deidre wanted to drive away but was too drunk. Her friend kept yelling, "Get your ass back inside" but Deidre wouldn't go in.

JACK: "You're the one who wanted to come here!" she exclaimed "So what can I do to make it up to you?" asked Deidre. GET THE FUCK BACK INSIDE!

JACK: Deidre is now code word for: big ol' lez. "Oh Ellen DeGeneres is such a Deidre."

*smooches...getting by with a little help from my friends*
and Deidre... lets not forget Deidre...