Sunday, April 06, 2008

When I'm By Myself, Nobody Else Can Say Goodbye...

Sometimes I just can't deal with people.

I'm not sure if it's directly correlated with Lady Estrogen or not, but there are times, more often than not, when I will hole up in my apartment and refuse to leave, because just the thought of seeing people makes my head hurt.

The small talk, the phony laugh, "oh really? that's funny, ha ha ha" [insert smiley with a gun pointed at its own head] I just can't deal.

Late last night I contemplated, for a minute, going out again, meeting Lani at that hip hop party in the Slope because my cramps had let up for like two seconds so I had a window of opportunity for fun.

But as I got up off the couch, I had this recurring thought: I'm just not in the mood for new people tonight. That ever happen to you?

It's like, I'm sick of my own story already, and the thought of having to go through the motions with a new person is just too much.

"Hi, I'm Raquel."
"Yeah, I'm a writer."
"At a PR firm."
"I've published some articles here and there."
"Yeah, I like it."
"No, I live with my two daughters."
"I'm divorced."
"I live in Greenwood, you know, over by the cemetery."
"No, it's not scary. It's nice, kinda quiet"
"I'm from Brooklyn."
"Oh, you mean my background? My parents are Dominican."
"Really? I hear that a lot."

That's the honest-to-god script. People never have any new questions and I'm too lazy to give new answers. I'm bored, I tell ya, BORED out of my skull with this "dance of the new people" and I haven't got the attention span or patience for it.

So I stayed in last night, missing a pretty good party and an even better opportunity to come out my face and tell a certain someone off (I haven't done that in a hot minute!), but just the thought of new people... yeah, I just am NOT in the mood.

However, after I got halfway through Season 3 of The Facts of Life, I sat and wrote a new script for myself, to keep things fresh and properly alienate new people once and for all:

"Hi, I'm Altagracia Isabel."
"Yeah, I'm a circus performer."
"With Fuerza Bruta."
"I've done Ringling Brothers and stuff."
"Yeah, I like it."
"No, I live with two panthers and a hyena."
"They get along, though. We all do."
"You've never experienced an orgasm until you've tried a female hyena..."
"I live in Hunts Point, you know, over by the hookers."
"No, it's not scary. It's nice, the hookers are cool"
"I'm from Oslo."
"Oh, you mean my background? My parents are Vietnamese and Costa Rican."
"Really? OK, well take care then."

That's should keep them away...

*smooches...taking anti-social-ness to new levels*
plus I just got discs 1-3 of the Second Season of Soul Food... I'm too busy to meet new people...

Title courtesy of Edie Brickell, "Circle"