Friday, April 18, 2008

And Nothing Is More Powerful Than Beauty In A Wicked World

Dear Makers of Women's Apparel:

Please understand once and for all that not all women are a size zero, or have the body of an adolescent boy.

Guess what? Some of us have breasts *THE HORROR!* and curves and a lil extra junk in the trunk.

And frankly, I'm tired of having to buy shirts one size bigger than I need them to be, so that a perfectly good photo op:

won't turn into a peep show:

Think of the buttons- the poor, poor buttons- on my shirts. The stress they deal with on a daily basis, trying to keep it together so that all of 23rd Street doesn't get a peek at my purple bra. WON'T ANYBODY THINK OF THE BUTTONS?!?!

And don't even get me started on how warped the designs get on my graphic tees... poor t-shirts didn't know what fate awaited them when I purchased them...

I implore you, keep this in mind next time you design a shirt. A medium should fit a medium. I shouldn't have to buy a large and then get it taken in at the waist. In fact, maybe you should reimburse me for the cost of tailoring my shirts, hmmm? Yeah, that's what I thought... fucking haters...

The Jaded NYer

*smooches...doomed to a life of always telling guys, "Hey, buddy, my eyes are up here!"*
this post brought to you by the difficulty I had in finding a top to wear to work today that wouldn't get me sexually harrassed, and dedicated to the dude on the F-train who's eyes were glued to my tits yesterday... did you get a good enough look, asshole? Take a picture next time!

Title courtesy of Amos Lee, "Soul Suckers"