Monday, April 07, 2008

The Difference Between What You Need And What You Wanna Be

I have a friend who told me once:

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

I've heard variations of this saying from Oprah, Tony Robbins, etc, etc, so it's pretty much stuck in my head.

And humans, we're creatures of habit, we like our comfort zone, and the unknown is not too welcomed. Especially when everything is going pretty shitty- that's when we really seek out the things that will help us "hide" from the world.

Me, I have a few. TV and Movies are one. Food is another. And I usually mix those two up with inactivity and *voila* ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a Class A rut!


I mean, picture it if you can:

I come home. Dinner is either done if K cooked or I'll make something really fast or order out, and I always eat too much. Then we watch some sort of movie or TV show online on one of the many "illegal" websites we frequent. Then I might brush the girls' hair or just send them to bed. Next I check my emails and make the rounds in the blogosphere, watch some YouTube videos and Google random shit and check Perez Hilton for a daily dose of gossip.

Sometimes I'll IM Jack, sometimes I'll call a friend or two on the phone. Then I put the iTunes on shuffle and take a shower; if I'm in a deep rut I might skip that step and sleep in my clothes on the couch. If that's the case, usually I play a movie that I've seen before while I drift off into oblivion... right after I heat up any leftovers or eat a bowl of Cheerios.

This happens pretty much every night. Exciting, I know. Please try and contain your jealousy!! I only deviate from this routine if I have an article due for a client because, hey, even crazy people like to get paid, you know, so I at least do that, but no other deviations are ever even attempted.

No work on my stories, no progress on my to do list or 5-year-plan. Nothing. This has been 2008 so far.

Well, okay, insanity... I've heard it's not that cool, what with the institutionalization, cocktail of meds and stuff, and god knows I don't want to pull a Brittney, so I'm going to try a little experiment.

For a whole week- seven whole days, Monday thru Sunday, I'm going to do one thing different. I will stray from my usual routine and force myself out of my rut, and I'll log it in the next day's post.

Will I get very far, seeing as I'm deep in the middle of said Class A rut right now? Who knows, especially since my M.O. of late has been to make a promise to myself and then break it in a moment of reckless abandon with a Pringles snack pack and an Almond Joy. But it'll be fun to try.

*smooches...thinking that tomorrow's 'one thing' might be to actually WORK at work*
it's so hard to be a constant work in progress... where are my Cheerios...

Title courtesy of Matchbox Twenty, "The Difference"