Tuesday, April 22, 2008

And It's Me Who's Too Shy To Ask For The Thing I Love

The F$%k it List at The F$%k it List has tagged me...so here goes:

Here are the rules:

1. Link the person who tagged you…

2. Mention the rules in your blog…

3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours

4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them

5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

Here are 6 things you may never have wanted to know about The Jaded NYer:

1} I grew up in a "naked" house.

My family is made up of mostly females, so more often than not, no one had any clothes on. Babies were allowed to walk around in just diapers and shoes, and my mom never walked out of a shower in her towel... just girl parts all over the place.

2} I once flew out to California just to hook up with a one night stand I'd met up with a few months before.

In my defense... he kept calling me to see when I'd be out there again, PLUS- he was the f*cking BOMB, okay? (Pun intended!!!) I mean he had the abs, built like a basketball player, size AND girth, just plumb put it ON a sistah... know what I mean? Sadly, we lost touch after he moved to Atlanta *sniffle*

3} Even though we weren't rich, I had some of the most elaborate birthday parties from birth to age 10.

I mean full on costumes, hired entertainment, killer goody bags, food for days, live performances (by me LOL)... my birthdays were an event!! There was the clown party, the Smurf party, the Snoopy party, the Raggedy Ann and Andy party, the Rock n Roll party where I dressed up like Boy George, the Menudo party (yes, THAT Menudo lol)... I had some great ones! Love you, mom... I'll never forget those parties!

4} The stories I'm working on for my first book is actually a thinly veiled autobiography.

Except most of the major events in the stories never really happened or were turned up three notches for dramatic effect- see, that's why I can call it "fiction" MUAHAHAHAHA.

I hope my family doesn't sue me LOL

5} As a teenager, I was pretty involved in the church; I even taught Saturday Catechism classes.

That's right, folks- I, The Jaded NYer, helped to mold young, impressionable minds in the image of Christ, teaching them that God is love, the meaning of the sacraments and all that crap. I did that until I was a sophomore in college, right around the time I decided to leave the church.

Those poor, poor souls...

6} This guy my mom kept trying to hook me up with once tried to sexually assault me.

TRIED being the operative word here... he was this bodega worker straight off the boat and whatnot, and she sent him over to get some food she'd made for the guys in the store. While I had my back turned to get the food from the fridge, he came up from behind, grabbed me and tried to push up on me by force. BY FORCE! ME! He had the WRONG one, I'll tell you what... I don't know where my strength came from because I was like 15-16, skinny as all fuck and with no upper body strength, but I gave him such a shove that he fell backwards, and had this scared look in his eye. That's right, mo-fo... don't EVER try and take it, bitch, not from me, 'cause you might just lose yours in the process!!!

I now tag:

Bangs and a Bun

And I would tag Jack, but he's having a coronary in Chicago, and I fear that the added pressure of having to write a blog with six facts about himself might just leave his kids without a daddy (love you, boo!).

So get to it people!!

*smooches...so thankful for Minnie, keeper of the family photos, who has a pretty generous lending policy*
how cute am I in my clown outfit? and in the naked pic? the freakin CUTEST, okay?! And what you know about my red, knee-hi boots? HUH? Don't hate...

Title courtesy of Paula Cole, "Me"