Longtime readers know that I deal with my mood swings (read: probably some sort of mental illness docs would like to "treat" me for) everyday. It's a constant battle to have more rainbows and butterflies than gray skies and slow singing.
And while I don't mind telling you all about it in blog post after blog post, its a whole other animal to let you see me in the thick of it. Much like a dog that's about to die, I like to just find a quiet uninhabited piece of earth and let the sadness wash over me until it fades away. This weekend, however, an unfortunate soul had to witness it and there was nowhere for me to hide.
I usually like to wait a while before I let that side of me be known, and even then I rarely allow any witnesses to it. But I can't really control when it will hit, you know?
The anxiety that this emotional ambush caused me has no words. I was all "That's it, I fucked up. I'll never hear from this person again. Who wants to deal with a moody bitch?"
And even though I was assured that everything is OK I will always be waiting for the other shoe to drop, all because I showed my crazy too soon.
I hate when I do that!
*smooches...waiting for it to fade*
I only threw this Tom Waits cover by Sarah McLachlan because it was playing as I wrote this post and all of a sudden I remembered how much I loved it. You should love it, too.