Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Is Marriage For Women Or Men?

This weekend I had a friend comment that marriage only benefits women and the men always end up losing (you can already guess that this friend has a Y-chromosome *side eye*), and then I watched the latest episode of Kathy Griffin's talk show where Jane Fonda stated that men are the ones who need marriage, not women.

My friend's claim was, of course, based on what a woman gets after the marriage ends. Women (for the most part) are quick to get custody of the kids, home, etc and are entitled alimony and child support in many cases. I can see how men see themselves as "losing" in that scenario. But what if it's a marriage that doesn't end in divorce? Does he still lose?

What I understood of Fonda's comment, however, was that women tend to have these deep, meaningful relationships and networks with one another that last forever and tend to fulfill us, something that men don't necessarily have. Therefore they need marriage to feel that connection with someone else, something that us women already experience with our BFFs. So technically we don't need marriage to feel fulfilled. Fonda, of course, has been married three times and decided that was enough; she now lives with her longtime boyfriend with zero plans to ever wed again.

Interesting thoughts.

In my own experience, I'd have to agree more with Fonda than with my friend. I stayed married more for the kids than anything else. And then of course there's the fact that I had low self-esteem and felt I was nothing, etc, plus some lingering Catholic tendencies, so I had to make the marriage work. But once I picked myself up and saw that I could be my own person and do for myself without him, I didn't think twice about leaving, and the support I got from my friends was just what Fonda described. I knew I was going to be just fine.

My ex? VERY SHORTLY after our split he dove into a serious relationship and is now married, while the kid here gallivanted through life enjoying the City, new friends, travel and of course, my BFFs.

So you tell me- who does it really benefit?

*smooches...living my single life like it's golden*
until, of course, someone puts a ring on it; then I'll be singing a different tune lol