Friday, July 06, 2012

Stopping To Smell The Roses

I came into 2012 with so much hope and promise in my heart, because I had already been informed that one of my stories was being published. It was an exciting time, remember? Oh the joy of knowing my hard work was finally going to pay off! I was also rocking a more svelte body and had done away with 90 percent of my foot, shin and knee pains.

It's already July and the confidence from that one published story and those 20 pounds lost snowballed into so many other great things. It's all kept me so busy--from starting Baobab Wellness to publishing a pocket book on writing--it's been non-stop for me since I got back from Vegas on January 2.

As I write this, however, amidst the demands of my 9-to-5, personal projects and current health issues, I'm suffering from the longest and most painful sinus headache I've ever had. This pain is reminding me that I'm doing too much. Oh, it's all great things and I love writing and blogging and working out and helping others along the way, but I'm wearing myself and my body out in the process.

In the last six months, there's not been a weekend where I've completely relaxed and read a book and taken care of myself and my personal needs or teetering mental health. I'm either being a mom or a friend or a daughter or a sister. And I don't regret any of it, because I love my friends and family dearly, but right now, as my left nostril refuses to let air in and I wince from swallowing and my head pounds, I'm thinking back to Papi's front porch in Los Mina, where I was able to read a whole book in one day because that day was so slow and sweet and endless. I didn't have internet access and my cellphone was turned off. I sipped a glass of water and just cracked open that book and before I knew it the sun had gone to bed and I was on the last pages of Danielle Evans' Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self.

I'm taken back to that moment right now, when, after I had finished the book, the girls and I got a snack from the bodega and settled in to watch La Casa de al Lado before going to bed. It was a beautiful moment, one I could use right now.

Rest assured: I am thankful for everything that is going right in my life at the moment and everyone who is a part of all that rightness. But for right now, if you don't mind, I'm going to just play some Spanish boleros, sit back on my sofa for a minute, close my eyes, and make believe none of you exist.

Just for a quick moment.

*smooches...listening to my body's needs*
I have to make this a daily practice; as my career grows I'll need this 'quiet time' to keep me sane(ish)!